Vive Jesus

At peace?

2008-05-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

"let us go in peace to love and serve the Lord and one another"

we hear this after every Mass... It is our mission, our lifeline.

In Peace

Before being able to soar in the winds of Divine Love, before being able to live the depths of Joy of sacrificial Love, first, above and before we have to be at Peace. We have to walk in Peace. To go in Peace. A long time ago I learned a lesson, that once again I need to remember. At the time I was disturbed because I was not at peace (get it? I was not at peace because I didn't have peace...ha!)

But under the gaze of the image of Divine Mercy I learned that peace is fruit, peace is timony of Humility, Hope and Trust. First we come in Humility, broken, defeated, scared and disturbed. We acknowledge our sin, our failure, our brokennes. By His grace Faith is born in our hearts. In Faith we raise our eyes to Him and when we see him so beutiful, so loving, so full of tenderness towards our poor bruised heart we Hope.

So now, we know that He is good, that He cares about our life, that He is by our side. He know in Faith that He will guide us, that He is looking out for us, that He is our Shepherd.... and so we rest. And so we close our eyes as He gathers us in His arms and we lay our head on His chest....and we are, finally, gloriously, happily, at Peace.

........................

more tomorrow on the rest of the Rubric. Good nights my beloved people!

ITS ALIVE!!!

2008-05-16T21:34:00.000-07:00

This blog, that is! after about almost eight months of silence , this blog has officially come back to life. I got a blackberry so hopefully I should be able to post! I'll try to post as often as I can, always with a little anecdote, random thought, fun picture or something that will be uplifiting and hopefully make some little soul say, praise the Lord!

............................

A Thought

I've decided I will Dream again.

I will dare to dream.

I will dare to plan my future and see with excitement how He completelly changes them into something even better.

I will dare to truly believe His words that say "I have a future of Joy for you."

.......................

Today...

I praise the Lord! I had a beautiful evening!

spent time with two of my dearest friends. Good beautiful quality time.
Lunch at noon and at the evening an hour long walk/talk....

So anyway...Praise the Lord!

see u around :)

2007-09-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

Well... got a new job, a good great God-blessing job... but because of my new responsabilities I don't really have that much time to bum around the internet, so you might see me less... but I'll still be around from time to time. God bless!

Good News all around :)

2007-09-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

More than a year ago my family and I were in a foreign country being inmigrants once again. Circumstances took us there, to the other side of the world, alone and looking for employment.

there...a priest befriended us.

I approached him asking whether he knew about any Young Adult Ministries... he didn't...but he invited us over for dinner.

A series of dinners, and late-into-the-night chats came into being. Joy and fraternity and care. Him shouting and hitting the table expounding his big BIG opinions about politics/religion/spirituality... us looking, and commenting against or in support of, food, great food and him being a father to us.

our attempt to immigrate to that country came to nothing. We had to leave. As a father, he took us to the airport and said a quick goodbye. For a while I thought it was cold... now I think he probably was fighting back tears.

We exchanged a couple of letters...

but distance was too much.

and we didn't hear from each other in a long while...

UNTIL TODAY!!!

A beutiful e-mail. (praise God for the Internet!)
short, sweet and full of him, the priest who was a father to us, loud yet deeply deeply spiritual.

I'm so happy today, with memories of that summer that marked my life forever.
In the most beutiful city I've ever been at, besides the most beutiful souls I've ever met!

And as I laugh and laugh and dance and thank, and God laughs and laughs, with a deep, shoulder shaking, belly laugh!! Thank God for fathers and mothers and brothers and sisters and friends and random people that we stumble up in our path!!

awake

2007-09-17T07:35:00.001-07:00

Last night (at around 11p.m) I was at Adoration when an interesting character walked in...young, strong, dressed in immaculate black with his pure white collar. He kneeled in a perfect 90 degree angle in one of the kneelers and opened his breviary. The guy looked like a soldier, his face was stoic and his movements planned and carefully measured. The guy oozed discipline!

then

he proceded to nod off.

poor guy! he was seriously passing out. He would look at his breviary, briefly close his eyes and pass out. Then he would jerk back his head, blink twice and open his eyes wide trying to wake himself up. (I know I should have been watching Jesus and not this guy but I just couldn't help it!)

I've seen him before, I don't know him but I've heard about him. He is the son of a family here in town. He went off to join some order (jesuits? legionaries? Opus Dei? one of those) and comes to visit like once a year. I don't think he is ordained but he wears clericals.

Everytime I've seen him he looks extremelly disciplined, walking like some gentleman/warrior of old, he ain't more than 30 years old...

but this time, I saw him nod off and pass out in adoration.

and it touched my heart deeply.

Just to know that it doesn't matter how disciplined, how "strong", how brave, how holy... at the end we are all weak children of our Lord.... that no matter how much effort, we will pass out and fall asleep... but that He won't. He will stay there, lovingly looking upon us.

Singing lullabies to us.

Being faithful and staying awake.

lukewarm lovers...

2007-09-14T07:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was thinking.... there is nothing worse than a lukewarm lover!

Maybe you've been in a relationship where you were the most emotionally involved of the two... you know how it goes. You think and think about this person and long to see them and when you finally see them they have a "oh-you-are-here" reaction... And you realize they weren't as thrilled to see you as you were to see them... by far...yeah. A real disappointment. Unrequited love. They might love you/like you, after all, you are in a relationship together, but your heart is broken anyway for the fire in your heart is not mutual. Love desires two things, self-gift and union...and if the union is not there...wow, it hurts.

and I thought of The Beloved.... with what ardor He loves us! He loves my soul passionatelly, in fact He thirsts for me, longs for my love. "I was eager to eat this passover with you"(lk 22:15) He is eager.

But when He approaches me, in prayer, through my bethren... am I also eager? or am I lukewarm lover? when I receive him in the Eucharist do I have a "oh-you-are-here" reaction? when He comes to me through one of my bethren that need charity...does His heart break when He meets my coldness, my indiference?

I would never have the following conversations with a boyfriend:

bfriend: (holding my hands, very lovingly) I want to spend time with you

me: uhh..well ... I don't really have time... (taking my hands away from his and checking my planner) what if we see each other at the end of the day (when I am absolutely exhausted) for about 15 min?

bfriend: I love you (holding my hands, stars over us)

me: oh, thanks. that's cool... btw, are you gonna eat that?

yet, many times conversations like these ones go on between my Soul and Him Who Loves Me.

forgive me, Beloved, for being a lukewarm lover!!

2007-09-13T09:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday afternoon I was taking a walk on Campus... The tall trees poured their leaves like a waterfall, and the sun was gentle, the sky was big. A beutiful clear afternoon... I dialed in my cellphone the phone of my granparents (who live in another country) and my granma picked up.

When I heard her voice suddenly all the beuty of the trees, the sky and the evening disappeared. She was having a dementia episode... everything became grey.

Her voice over the phone made want to break into tears. She recognized me, but she couldn't remember where I was ( I moved away 7 years ago yet she kept being surprised about me not being in our hometown).... she sounded scared, nervous, confused, yet, being the proper lady she is she tried to mask it saying "oh! we are all fine!" I talked to her a little, but she was too nervous to hold a conversation. She kept asking over and over where I was and when I would tell her she would say worriedly "oh! you are so far!" It broke my heart. My throat became a knot.

we said our goodbyes and she hanged up hurriedly.

I stood there in the afternoon. wanting to weep. and lifting my soul "Lord!"

I kept walking. The trees and the grass and the sky were so inviting and seemed memories of an inocent carefree time. And suddenly, I felt Therese present.

Hallo! it was like she had said and started walking besides me.
We didn't say anything... but somehow her prescence made me remeber her dad.

Therese of Liseux's dad died of dementia.

He was a a sweet and strong father and a holy man that raised 4 carmelites, one of them an extraordinary saint....

I sighed and pictured him, young again, strong, manly and holy walking besides me and his daughter Therese... and I asked him to take care of my own poor granma...

Even though I can't see them... I bet he looked kindly upon me and nodded.

Today a friend told me he was praying form my granma, out of the blue....

Thank God for the Saints.

the Kingdom

2007-09-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

The kingdom of God does not mean eating or drinking this or that, it means righteousness and peace and joy brought by the Holy Spirit. Rm 14:17-18

Some days ago the priest in my parish said that the Kingdom is here and now. That Christ said "the Kingdom of God is among you" and that we should be trying to enter and be in the kingdom right now right here, and stop thinking about it being something that "happens" after death. (of course it is, but you get what I'm saying)

and then the Beloved shows me this verse....

Righteousness. Following the commandments of God and the precepts of the Church. Fulfilling our vocation, and not only that! It means having a "right" heart. A pure heart, a selfless heart, a virtuous heart.... This is our part of the deal. It is working, fighting, bleeding for a right heart. It is having spiritual discipline. It is prayer, mortification and the practice of penance and virtue.

Peace. This is a fruit of Trust. The true Peace comes from Trusting that God is a loving God that cares for us. That whatever happens He is God and since He is Good and Loves us...it will be ok. This part of the kingdom requires us to have Trust in Him...and His part is the fruit of that Trust... Peace.

Joy. This is a fruit of Love. It is a response of knowing ourselves Loved... supremelly Loved by Him, the most beautiful of the sons of men (psalm 45), the Beauty ever ancient-ever new. It comes from a dialogue with the Beloved, it comes from sitting under the stars resting in His chest, listening to His heart beat, while His warm pierced hand rests in ours, as He kisses our forehead.... it is Joy, it is the Joy of being loved by Love himself! But in our world, specially in our culture and time when despair, desperation, loneliness, suicide, tears are so common, and for those of us for whom despair is a temptation, as enticing as any drug, we are called to make a choice for Joy. To make the choice to listen to His whispers, to accept His love, so we can have Joy.

Prayer, Mortification, the Practice of virtue (purity, patience, selflessnes, LOVE), Trust in Him that brings Peace, and allowing ourselves to be loved that brings Joy...

summed up: Living a life of Love with Him and with them (our brothers and sisters)... THAT IS THE KINGDOM! HERE AND NOW!

2007-09-05T07:08:00.000-07:00

"Only if we look to Christ, if we love him, will we overcome laziness and love of comfort, will we emerge from the ivory tower that each of us tends to build for himself, will we make many blind people see Christ, many deaf people hear him, and many cripples walk beside him. God needs our cooperation." In Conversation with God. Francis Fernandez.

Artwork by Macha Chmakoff

2007-09-04T13:27:00.000-07:00

He taught them as one who had authority

Mark 1:22

"Jesus doesn't expound just a mere opinion, nor does He show any sign of uncertaint or of doubt. He does not speak like the prophets, in God's name, because He is not just another prophet: he speaks in his own name: I say to you..." In Conversation with God. Francis Fernandez.

Entice Me

2007-08-31T07:32:00.000-07:00

The red beads of the rosary
Between my fingers

The pang of hunger
In my insides

Prayer and mortification
The wings of perseverance

Yet it all becomes sand dust
It all becomes a clanging cymbal
if I do not walk into the night
to meet You.

Place Your warm hand
Over mine

Kiss my forehead
Entice me.

painting by Myra Mandel

heartbeat

2007-08-30T07:14:00.000-07:00

Your Heart
My Soul

Your hand of rubies,
Enclosing my hand of flesh

Your radiance dancing
to the song of the Trinity

I cannot hear it, Beloved,
but I’ll let you lead me.

I’ll dance in silence
Resting my head upon Your chest
Dancing to the melody
Of your heartbeat…

Painting by Myra Mandel

Come be my Light

2007-08-29T07:43:00.000-07:00

Come, be my light.
Come, be my strength.

The waves of this black ocean
rise above me.
Come calm the storm
within me.

drawing by Edouard Leon Louis

wow!

2007-08-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

Closing speeches and adresses of Vatican II Council.

TO WOMEN (read by Leon Cardinal Duval of Algiers, Algeria, assisted by Julius Cardinal Doepfner of Munich, Germany, and Raul Cardinal Siloa of Santiago, Chile.)

And now it is to you that we address ourselves, women of all states—girls, wives, mothers and widows, to you also, consecrated virgins and women living alone—you constitute half of the immense human family.

As you know, the Church is proud to have glorified and liberated woman, and in the course of the centuries, in diversity of characters, to have brought into relief her basic equality with man. But the hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of woman is being achieved in its fullness, the hour in which woman acquires in the world an influence, an effect and a power never hitherto achieved. That is why, at this moment when the human race is under-going so deep a transformation, women impregnated with the spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid mankind in not falling.

You women have always had as your lot the protection of the home, the love of beginnings and an understanding of cradles. You are present in the mystery of a life beginning. You offer consolation in the departure of death. Our technology runs the risk of becoming inhuman. Reconcile men with life and above all, we beseech you, watch carefully over the future of our race. Hold back the hand of man who, in a moment of folly, might attempt to destroy human civilization.

Wives, mothers of families, the first educators of the human race in the intimacy of the family circle, pass on to your sons and your daughters the traditions of your fathers at the same time that you prepare them for an unsearchable future. Always remember that by her children a mother belongs to that future which perhaps she will not see.

And you, women living alone, realize what you can accomplish through your dedicated vocation. Society is appealing to you on all sides. Not even families can live without the help of those who have no families. Especially you, consecrated virgins, in a world where egoism and the search for pleasure would become law, be the guardians of purity, unselfishness and piety. Jesus who has given to conjugal love all its plenitudes, has also exalted the renouncement of human love when this is for the sake of divine love and for the service of all.

Lastly, women in trial, who stand upright at the foot of the cross like Mary, you who so often in history have given to men the strength to battle unto the very end and to give witness to the point of martyrdom, aid them now still once more to retain courage in their great undertakings, while at the same time maintaining patience and an esteem for humble beginnings.

Women, you do know how to make truth sweet, tender and accessible, make it your task to bring the spirit of this council into institutions, schools, homes and daily life. Women of the entire universe, whether Christian or non-believing, you to whom life is entrusted at this grave moment in history, it is for you to save the peace of the world.

--------------------

Gosh! the Church's call to women is for us "to save the peace of the world"! Wow! I gotta take that to prayer, I love the comment about mainining "an esteem for humble beginnings"

Mother Teresa

2007-08-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

Ok, so you've GOT to check out THIS LINK

It's about Mother Teresa's Dark Night of the Soul which seems to have been...ahem...long.
And by "long" I mean...LOOOONNNGG. Pretty much the rest of her life after she started working in Calcutta.

It seems that her work had a "spiritual side" no one knew about... her spiritual life was and echo of Jesus' piercing cry "My God, My God why have you abandoned me?"

Redemptive suffering...What she suffered is so...so...beautiful.
I really can't describe it... I mean... I know it was horrible and heart-breaking and it almost broke her soul...but she was Victorious. She was faithful...and her Beloved embraced her at the end...and the darkness was lifted.

I'm so moved...

bored

2007-08-22T15:07:00.000-07:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

wow...I just answered questions about animals... and it is surprinsingly accurate! :O

a letter from a friend

2007-08-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

It had been a while, but Father De Sales sent me a letter today... and like always, it was exactly what I needed to hear...

Do not look forward to the trials and crosses of this life with dread and fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to Whom you belong, will deliver you from them.He has guided and guarded you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear Hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials.

Whenever you cannot stand He will carry you lovingly in His arms.

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same Eternal Father Who cares for you today will take good care of you tomorrw and every day of your life. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you the unfailing stregth to bear it.

Be at peace then and puta side all useles thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations...

St. Francis De Sales

Father De Sales always knows the right thing to say...

about being single...

2007-08-16T06:50:00.000-07:00

I’ve realized there really is no “singleness” in the life of a Christian. I mean, if we define being single as not being married then yes, but if we define being single as not having a family to take care of, as having “our times for ourselves,” then I would say no, no and no!

Us, the single have a large, large family to take care of. Every single person around us, every single human being is my brother and sister, their aches, sorrows and needs are my business, and I have the responsibility, the duty of taking care of them. Of dying for them. We are called to die for others, specially those nearest to us.

If we are married those people are our husband and children, but if we are single it can be our parents, siblings, friends, strangers around us. I have seen in my spiritual life, that if I am not experiencing the same amount of self-sacrifice that any mother/wife of a family experiences is because I am not opening my eyes to the needs of others around me.

But this is all good and dandy… lets see if I actually put it to practice! Ha ha!

Because the single life has a great temptation attached to it: self centerness. The lie that since we have not given vows to no one we have no real “responsibility” or “duty” toward no one. A lie! But its Oh! So easy to fall into that trap, the temptation of being lukewarm, of indifference, of blindness to the needs of others… wouldn't it be great to take a "temporal vow" while being single to love others, to die for others, just like we take vows to "die" for our husband/wife/children at the wedding?

I am very very selfish. Just as I am writing this I am realizing how selfish and self-centered I have been in my single life.

Like you all know I have considered a call to celibacy. To perpetual virginity...for the Kingdom... About three years ago I almost entered a convent… I had asked for the paper work, spent two weeks there.... all was ready... but then the Beloved talked to me and told me that I would never make it because I did not have a selfless motherly heart at the time. I was terribly self-centered. Being celibate means being a Bride to Christ and a mother for the whole world… but my heart was selfish, I could not see beyond my own needs.

So the Beloved lovingly told me “no…at least not yet.” So for the last years I’ve focused on loving and dying for others… I say “focused” even though many many times I’ve lost focus and gone back to being selfish. Terribly selfish.

I have dated, I've fallen in love twice in my life and both times I've been loved back... I’ve chosen the names that I will give to my babies if I ever have children…but even now, at times my heart aches to have an undivided heart, a virginal heart for the King, for the Beloved, for the Groom... and to be able to love and die for the world…

Whether I become a nun or not is up to God, but now I find myself single. And it’s a life of challenge, of struggle, of death in the Cross and of Victory.

And for all of you all singles’ out there I want to tell you… we have work to do! For the Kingdom! Men, be husbands to the Church just like Christ. Women! Be Brides of Christ! And let us all of us, singles, be mothers and fathers to the world!!

on Solitude....

2007-08-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

I am home alone...
in Solitude...

it had been over a year since I woke up in the morning and there was no one at home...
it had been a long time since I could just stretch in the sun coming from the window and know it just me and Him...

Silence.

Quiet.

and suddenly, Battle.

Raging Battle in the Heart and the Mind. What is it about Silence and Solitude that suddenly our fears, sins, temptations and sorrows come fresh to the top? is it the lack of distractions? The hermits of old didn't go to the desert just to chill with God. They went into battle. They went because it was thought that the desert was inhabited by demons. The hermits went to face the devil in his own battleground...and they were victorious.

Solitude. Silence. Battle, and Victory.

by St. John of the Cross

2007-08-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

Songs of the soul that rejoices in having reached the high state of perfection, which is union with God, by the path of spiritual negation.

O guiding night!O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.

Upon my flowering breast,
which I kept wholly for him alone,
there he lay sleeping,
and I caressing him
there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.

When the breeze blew from the turret,
as I parted his hair,
it wounded my neck
with its gentle hand,
suspending all my senses.

I abandoned and forgot myself,
laying my face on my Beloved;
all things ceased; I went out from myself,
leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.

.............................

¡O noche, que guiaste!
¡O noche amable más que la alborada!
¡oh noche que juntaste amado con amada,
amada en el amado transformada!

En mi pecho florido,
que entero para él solo se guardaba
allí quedó dormido
y yo le regalaba
y el ventalle de cedros aire daba.

El aire de la almena
cuando yo sus cavellos esparcía
con su mano serena
en mi cuello hería
y todos mis sentidos suspendía.

Quedéme y olvidéme
el rostro recliné sobre el amado;
ceso todo, y quedeme
dejando mi cuidado
entre las azucenas olvidado.

from the diary of St. Faustina Kowalska

2007-08-08T14:27:00.000-07:00

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Suffering Soul.

Jesus: Poor soul, I see that you suffer much and that you so not have even the strength to converse with me. So I will speak to you. Even though your sufferings were very great, do not lose heart or give in to despondency. But tell Me, My child, who has dared to wound your heart? Tell Me about everything, be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the wounds of your heart. I will heal them, and your suffering will become a source of your sanctification.

Soul: Lord, my sufferings are so great and numerous and have lasted so long that I become discouraged.

Jesus: My child, do not be discouraged. I know your boundless trust in Me; I know you are aware of My goodness and mercy. Let us talk in detail about everything that weighs so heavily upon your heart.

Soul: There are so many different things that I do not know what to speak about first, nor how to express it.

Jesus: Talk to Me simply, as a friend to a friend. Tell Me now, My child, what hinders you from advancing in holiness?

Soul: Poor health detains me on the way to holiness. I cannot fulfill my duties. I am as useless as an extra wheel on a wagon. I cannot mortify myself or fast to any extent, as the saints did. Further more, nobody believes I am sick, so that mental pain is added to those of the body, and I am often humiliated. Jesus, how can anyone become holy in such circumstances?

Jesus: True, My child, all that is painful. But there is no way to heaven except the way of the cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest and surest way.

Soul: Lord, there is another obstacle on the road to holiness. Because I am faithful to You, I am persecuted and suffer much.

Jesus: It is because you are not of this world that the world hates you. First it persecuted Me. Persecution is a sign that you are following in My footsteps faithfully.

Soul: My Lord, I am also discouraged because neither my superiors nor my confessor understand my interior trials. A darkness clouds my mind. How can I advance? All this discourages me from striving for the heights of sanctity.

Jesus: Well, My child, this time you have told Me a great deal. I realize how painful it is not to be understood, and especially by those whom one loves and with whom one has been very open. But suffice it is to know that I understand all your troubles and misery. I am pleased by the deep faith you have, despite everything, in My representatives. Learn from this that no one will understand a soul entirely - that is beyond human ability. Therefore, I have remained on earth to comfort your aching heart and to fortify your soul, so that you will not falter on the way. You say that a dense darkness is obscuring your mind. But why, at such times, do you not come to Me, the light who can in an instant pour into your soul more understanding about holiness than can be found in any books? No confessor is capable of teaching and enlightening a soul this way. Know, too, that the darkness about which you complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when My Soul was crushed in mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My Heart.

Soul: One more thing, Lord. What should I do when I am ignored and rejected by people, especially by those on whom I had a right to count in times of greatest need?

Jesus: My child, make the resolution never to rely on people. Entrust yourself completely to My will saying, "Not as I want, but according to Your will, O God, let it be done unto me." These words, spoken from the depths of one's heart, can raise a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In such a soul I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven with the fragrance of her virtue. But understand that the strength by which you bear suffering comes from frequent Communions. So approach this fountain of mercy often, to draw with the vessel of trust whatever you need.

Soul: Thank You, Lord, for Your goodness in remaining with us in this exile as the God of mercy and blessing us with the radiance of Your compassion and goodness. It is through the light of Your mercy that I have come to understand how much You love me.

this is precious!

2007-08-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

"When someone asks you 'think about what Jesus would do', remember that a valid option is to freak out and turn over tables" -- Unknown

from Forest Murmurs

back from a pilgrimage!

2007-08-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

I know! I know! I've been gone for a good while and by now a lot of you have flown away to more updated blogs, but for those of you who are still occasionally checking this thing I am baaaaaaaaacccckk!!I was off in Mexicoooooo!!! aside from all the Mexican fun, sun and beach I went on a pilgrimage to the basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, if you haven't gone...well, start saving up your money cuz you have to go!! and if you are any sort of mexican (1/2, 1/4, 1/8) then it is a duty!! ha ha!

She is, well, indescribable. Her presence and love, truly is there to comfort us. In the Tepeyac there she is, waiting, like all mothers for her children to go home...

"Hear me and understand well, my son the least, that nothing should frighten or grieve you. Let not your heart be disturbed. Do not fear that sickness, nor any other sickness or anguish. Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything. " -her words to St. Juan Diego

talk about answered prayers!

2007-07-19T09:21:00.000-07:00

So...someone put up this comment:

"Ali...You're at a crossroads, and it is time to act. It is true that prayer, fasting, sacraments, and study always are always necessary ... and now for you pointedly to serve the poorest of the poor, as a Catholic...serve by following Catholic doctrine; this is the way the saints have always found what it is God wanted specifically for them. You will realize your specific vocation as you serve. It will be that good that needs to be done in His name and that you are capable of doing, while you leave yourself behind."

wow...whoever that was, thank You.

Indeed my heart has been burning lately. Desiring to love and die for my neighbor... it is time to Serve and in serving I will find what God wants specifically from me... In about a month my life will change radically. Up till now I've been serving my family, but in three weeks I will be free to serve in a different level... and I know there is no need to go to a far away place...right here in my town there are elderly weeping in loneliness, sick in need of love, fellow Christians that need to hear about the treasures of the King in the Church, unborn being murdered, children that go hungry...

After all, what if I die today? what will I tell the Lord? "i held unto the gifts you gave because I was 'discerning' in what vocation you wanted me to use them?" or will I be able to answer "I exhausted myself in Your name"

Plus, this is the reading for today's Lauds:

"Each one of you has received a special grace, so, like good stewards responsible for all these different graces of God, put yourselves at the service of others. If you are a speaker, speak in words which seem to come from God; if you are a helper, help as though every action was done at God’s orders; so that in everything God may receive the glory, through Jesus Christ, since to him alone belong all glory and power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Pt. 4:10-11

How much clearer can it get?!

Lord! Here I am!!

Thank you to the person that put up that post!

Conversations...

2007-07-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Sinful Soul.

Jesus: Be not afraid of your Savior, O sinful soul. I make the first move to come to you, for I know that by yourself you are unable to lift yourself to me. Child, do not run away from your Father; be willing to talk openly with Your God of mercy who wants to speak words of pardon and lavish his graces on you. How dear your soul is to Me! I have inscribed your name upon My hand; you are engraved as a deep wound in My Heart.

Soul: Lord I hear Your voice calling me to turn back from the path of sin, but I have neither the strength nor the courage to do so. Jesus: I am your strength, I will help you in the struggle. Soul: Lord I recognize Your holiness and I fear You.

Jesus: My child, do you fear the God of mercy? My holiness does not prevent Me from being merciful. Behold. for you I have established a throne of mercy on earth - the tabernacle - and from this throne I desire to enter into your heart. I am not surrounded by a retinue of guards. You can come to Me at any moment, at any time; I want to speak to you and desire to grant you grace.

Soul: Lord, I doubt that You will pardon my numerous sins; my misery fills me with fright.

Jesus: My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire World. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed Myself to be nailed to the Cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give me pleasure if you hand over to Me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace.

Soul: You have conquered, O Lord, my stony heart with Your goodness. In trust and humility I approach the tribunal of Your mercy, where You yourself absolve me by the hand of your representative. O Lord, I feel Your grace and Your peace filling my poor soul. I feel overwhelmed by Your mercy, O Lord. You forgive me, which is more than I dared to hope for or could imagine. Your goodness surpasses all my desires. And now, filled with gratitude for so many graces, I invite You to my heart. I wandered, like a prodigal child gone astray; but You did not cease to be my Father. Increase Your mercy toward me, for You see how weak I am.

Jesus: Child, speak no more of your misery; it is already forgotten. Listen, My child, to what I desire to tell you. Come close to My wounds and draw from the Fountain of Life whatever your heart desires. Drink copiously from the Fountain of Life and you will not weary on your journey. Look at the splendors of My mercy and do not fear the enemies of your salvation. Glorify My mercy

-From the Diary of St. Fautina Kowalska

breathing...

2007-07-16T12:36:00.001-07:00

ok. I'm breathing again....uhh...chill...

and here is a little note that Father De Sales sent me last night:

" Make yourself familiar with the angels,

and behold them frequently in spirit;

for without being seen,

they are present with you."

~st.francis of sales.

Say Hi to your guardian angel today! :)

aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

2007-07-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

sorry, sorry sorry, been gone for a while I know I know...

just big thing happening. Parents got a big job. They are "moving out" (aww...parents grow up so fast! tear!) and trying to find a place for me and preparing myself mentally for living by myself for the first time... eeek! Plus my brother got married with all the madness that that entails, and I am going off in an international trip next weekend....arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

talking about vocations...

2007-07-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

so my spiritual director asked me the other day... do you ever think about what you want to do...er...long term? (I love him, he is so good at not being pushy towards any direction) and then a friend of mine (who is not good at not being pushy but who I thank cuz sometimes I need a push) asked me "so when are you leaving for the convent?" to make matters worse (or better?) I had been feeling in my heart the question of "what is Your Will? what do you want me to do?" after about three years of it rarely coming up...

I mean, a long time ago I decided to live day by day. love day by day. and that alone, in my single, young adult life has been way more than I can handle! but still, my heart burns with desires of more of a selfgiving, of "dying" (no I'm not suicidal, chill, I mean as in dying to self) and of service... mmm....

but I aint' angsting over it. (is "angsting" even a word?)

anywho...

I already tried religious life a couple times and yeah...that didn't work... marriage, there is no one lining up for the job of husband but I am not really interested into taking applications...mmm... then again I cannot think about becoming a Consecrated Virgin living in the world until I become more mature. And then it turns out my family is moving away so for the first time in my life I will be living "by myself".... mmmm.... I perceive a crazy discernment time looming ahead.

Living by myself means more time, having my entire paycheck for my self means stability...I think the key word in this is availability...
I'm going to become as available to Him as possible...
and see what He says...

I'll become a Sister of the Perpetual Discernment. Ha!

2007-07-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving...

I was going through old music on my MP3 player and came upon Casting Crown's "Praise you in the storm" and "Stand in the Rain"...

a part of the lyrics of both:

Praise You in the Storm
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
...You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Stand in the Rain
She won’t turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears
if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain

Like you can probably infer from my choice of music from that time, I was not exactly happy. I was truly in the middle of a lot of pain. But now I stand here to say Thanks to my Lord. Thanks to my Beloved Christ who saw me through it all. Who gave me the necessary Grace. Who was right besides me. Who carried me and showered me with grace and tenderness.

Now things are better. Much better and I rejoice. The trials are still here. At times its really bad. But His Presence is evident and that changes everything. If you are reading this and you are in deep pain let me tell you this. He does care. He, right now, even though you might not see it or feel it, is giving you the strenght to carry on. He will not abandon you.

To my Lord. My King, my Good Shepherd. Thank you.

2007-07-10T09:21:00.001-07:00

Getting to know Father.

About St. Francis of Sales from the book "Sage and Saint"

Let those who see in him only a gentle pastor watching over tender sheep and lambs in the midst of meadow flowers accompany him in his missionary combat. They will discover in him the warrior about whom Saint Paul tells us, who "has put on the armor of faith and of love; and for a helmet, hope of salvation"

This has been my experience while reading this book. I thought I knew my Father De Sales, but it turns out he is deeper, more mystical and corageous than I ever thought. I feel a little intimidated to have such a spiritual director. What will God ask of me? whatever it is Lord! Thy Will be done!

2007-07-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

Oh! How I wish!

How I wish everyone spoke spanish! then I could share all kinds of cool stuff... anyway, if you speak spanish don't forget to visit the following links:

a website about Blessed Rafael, a dear brother of mine
the website of Jesed, a ministry of music. They take the writings of the Saints and make them into amazing songs (imagine the poetry of St. John of the Cross in music!!

2007-07-09T13:26:00.000-07:00

Me!! me!! Meme!! #2

Woo hooo! Cate has tagged me! (Thanks Cate!) and I have to say I think this is my favorite Meme yet, one about the Beloved! Here are the rules:

*Those tagged will share five (5) things they love about Jesus.
*Those tagged will tag five (5) other bloggers.
*Those tagged will provide a link in the combox here with their name so that others can read them.

man...just five??? Well, just to be a little creative, I'll do it in the form of a prayer:

Beloved, they tell me they want to know five things that I love about You, I look at You and You smile back. I will start, I love that You are Who You Are. I love that You are the Great I AM. I love that You are God, All Powerful, All Mighty and All knowing, I love what You in Your very Nature are. God. I love that You are God.Secondly I love that being God you became Man. I love that you laugh, talk, cry and bleed. I love the fact that one day I will be able to hold Your hand! I love that one day I will be able to kiss your feet. I love that You are Man. Afterwards, I love that You love us, I love that You love me. I don't understand why, but for some reason You decided to Love us, to die for us, to redeem us, to create a Church for us, to guide us every day. I love that it almost seems that you are desperate for my love. I love your divine/human tenderness. I love that You love me. I love how we can keep dialogues even though I do not hear your Voice with my ears. I love the way you whisper into my heart and guide me, through the Church, Scripture, the Saints or directly from Your heart. I love that you walk besides me. I love that you are Alive and Here. And I also love that You are courageous, manly and challenging. I love that You are Lord and Master. I love that I am your handmaid and you are the King. I love your Majesty and Power. I love the fact that weakness, sin and unfaithfulness (not even mine!) are not stronger than Your Might. I love that you are King of everything. Beloved, I laugh because you are so beautiful and there is so much more that I love about You. Thank you for being who You Are. I love You, because You are Worthy of all my Love.

Anyway, I don't know much people that read my blog and have blogs (because ya'll don't leave comments!! hint* hint*)... but ANNE and SUZ if you read this consider yourselfed tagged! you can write your answer on the Comment box, woo hoo!

by the way, if you comment I will say the prayer of the Miraculous Medal for you... wait..is that simony? anywho, I'll say it anyway. Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee.

2007-07-09T08:20:00.000-07:00

Latinish things

Could this be one of the first fruits of the Motu Propio??

I have to say, I am really excited about having access to the "Extraordinary Form" of the Latin Rite...I've never seen it before. A priest around here is crazy excited about it, but we will have to wait for a little while since he doesn't know how to say the Tridentine mass. But I bet he is dusting off his Latin books right now. :)

I love the Church! now we have two options for Mass, depending on our individual needs. Indeed a wise and loving Mother! Whenever it becomes available I think I will go to the Tridentine mass from time to time (I am so curious!), but probably I will still make the Novus Ordo Mass the regular Mass I attend... I like being able to understand the readings.

I think there is an old Latin Missal somewhere in the house, I'll have to find it. I think I will be able to understand some of the Latin, after all I took Latin in high school and I can *sometimes* read it.

I'm excited... Oh! I guess I need to go buy a veil!

p.s. Blogger is not letting me put a title to this...weird...oh well.

The Courage of Christ

2007-07-06T06:31:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posting! I really have no excuse except that when I get into the Internet I get distracted with other stuff. But never fear! this little blog continues!
I recently purchased in Amazon "Sage and Saint" a biography of St. Francis of Sales, it is one of the most famous biographies of my dear Patron, so I am really excited!
I feel a little closer to him again, I started praying a mini-litany of the Saints after the Rosary and I always ask him to pray for me. So yeah, seems like we are back to hanging out together.

Anyway, I have just been thinking about Christ and his Courage. I've never thought about it before. He is Courageous. He is a warrior. A King Warrior. I thought about Him preparing himself for the greatest battle of good vs. evil in the Cross.
"You are the most handsome of men; fair speech has graced your lips, for God
has blessed you forever. Gird your sword upon your hip, mighty warrior! In
splendor and majesty ride on triumphant!...

With myrrh, aloes, and
cassia your robes are fragrant. From ivory-paneled palaces stringed instruments
bring you joy... "
I thought about how He went out to meet those who wanted to kill Him. He was almost defiant.

So Judas got a band of soldiers and guards from the chief priests and the Pharisees and went there with lanterns, torches, and weapons.Jesus, knowing everything that was going to happen to him, went out and said to them, "Whom are you looking for?"They answered him, "Jesus the Nazorean." He said to them, "I AM." John 18:3-5
And how he answered back to the guard who struck him. He was not intimidated.
"one of the temple guards standing there struck Jesus and said, "Is this the way you answer the high priest?" Jesus answered him, "If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong; but if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?"John 18:22-23

How he was not intimidated by Pilate nor by anyone else. To the last moment in the Cross he was Courageous, Magnanimous, with a dignity greater than anyone else. This is the Lord I serve.

Viva Cristo Rey!

2007-07-03T06:26:00.001-07:00

En los cielos y en la tierra sea por siempre alabado! el Corazon Amoroso de Jesus Sacramentado! Viva Cristo Rey! Viva!

praying....

2007-07-02T08:09:00.000-07:00

I know there is a lot of people from England/London that read this. You are in my prayers. May the Lord keep you safe.

Oh Mary Conceived Without Sin, Pray For Us Who Have Recourse to Thee

you do know me...

2007-06-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

A soul and Christ stand in the shore.. The water delicately touches the sand. Some white clouds navigate the blue sky. Christ is besides the soul, He wears a red crimson robe. The soul weeps quietly, covering its face with its hands.

Soul: 0h Lord, why? Why do you not reveal yourself? I do not know you. I try to know you and just exhaust myself. I read and read treatises, I look and look at the Host, I repeat prayers over and over, I rack my brains and come to the verge of insanity trying to understand you, to know you. Why!? Oh why do you not reveal yourself to me?!

Christ looks upon the soul sadly..

Christ: Behold the heart that so loved men… instead of gratitude I receive only ingratitude.

The soul turns around a looks upon Christ and is startled when it sees Him weeping.

Soul: Lord! Why do You weep? What do you say Lord? Why do you call me ungrateful?

Christ: You have slapped me, You have insulted me telling me that you do not know me. Did I not knit you in your mother’s womb? Was I not your playmate in your childhood? You were born into the Faith, there was no need for you to search for it.

My heart truly beats of love for you in the tabernacle and I taught you through your teachers that you could find me there. Have we not talked in the silence of the stars? Have I not myself given you Saints to guide you? An angel to watch your sleep? Have I not inspired books upon books and given you the opportunity to read them so you would grow in knowledge of me? And you grow angry at me for not revealing myself?! Blind ungrateful child! Thank me for the graces given and await patiently those that I want to give you next! Do not close your heart with your pride and ungratefulness! You’ve received graces that others have begged for and never received!

The soul looks at Christ and trembles.

Soul: Oh Lord… I-I didn’t realize…but it is true!

Christ cannot contain himself and embraces the soul.

Christ: Oh child! You are so blind; do you not see Me poured out of love for you? I suffer because you suffer unnecessarily!

The soul embraces Christ and they remain like that. The waves sing their quiet song.

find your latin missals....

2007-06-28T07:00:00.000-07:00

the Motu Propio is out! check it out!
well, it will be out on July 7... but let me check my sources, I'm not quite sure how legit this is. I'll keep you informed. Oh! and the Motu Propio is a document from the Pope that liberalizes acces to the Tridentine mass (previously parishes could have it but they had to ask for permission from the Bishop, now the priest can celebrate it whenever he wants) . It is NOT substituting the "normal" mass. It just opens a new option. So if you like Latin and bells... go to a Tridentine mass!

personally I've never been to a Tridentine mass, so I don't know if I will prefer it. I have a feeling I might go to it from time to time but I will still make the Novus Ordo my regular mass. I guess I need to go buy a veil... and a missal...

I just see this as another proof of the beauty and wisdom of the Church. What Treasure has our Good Lord given us! The Church looks at her children and decides to give us all the options for our spiritual growth. Do you need to Novus Ordo mass cuz' its the only way you will be catechized or ever listen to Scripture? (the case in many 3rd world countries), then there you go. Here is the Novus Ordo. Do you need the Tridentine mass to help you be aware of the Sacredness of the Mass? Here is the Tridentine mass. The Church is always satisfying the spiritual needs of her children. Praise God for the Church! Praise God for the Magisterium!

"look mom! I know how to use Photoshop!"

2007-06-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

do you like the new header? I do :)

El Greco. My favorite painter.

2007-06-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

El Greco,
Doménicos Theotokópoulos (1541-1614)
The elongated images are reflections of his training as an Icon writer.
Icons are not realistic in order to convey certain concepts, specially asceticism. Most icons will have their mouths closed in a sign of the silence necessary to listen to God and will have big, expressive eyes, to denote their prayer of contemplation. El Greco mixed Iconic concepts with the western techniques. The results are, to put it simply, magnificent.

about priests and bishops...

2007-06-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

In the Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena, God the Father said about priests and bishops:

…[It] is my intention that they be held in due reverence, not for what they are in themselves, but for my sake, because of the authority I have given them. Therefore the virtuous must not lessen their reverence, even should these ministers fall short in virtue. And, as far as the virtues of my ministers are concerned, I have described them for you by setting them before you as stewards of... my Son’s body and blood and of the other sacraments. This dignity belongs to all who are appointed as such stewards, to the bad as well as to the good. …[Because] of their virtue and because of their sacramental dignity you ought to love them. And you ought to hate the sins of those who live evil lives. But you may not for all that set ourselves up as their judges; this is not my will because they are my Christs, and you ought to love and reverence the authority I have given them.You ought to despise and hate the ministers’ sins and try to dress them in the clothes of charity and holy prayer and wash away their filth with your tears.

Indeed, I have appointed them and given them to you to be angels on earth and suns, as I have told you. When they are less than that you ought to pray for them. But you are not to judge them. Leave the judging to me, and I, because of your prayers and my own desire, will be merciful to them.

I have been in conversations (both 'real life' and online) in which criticizing bishop's, priests and religious orders was normal. 'He has no spine,' 'bunch of heretics,' 'stupid,' etc, was said about them... But I wonder... If I said the same thing about a fellow lay person, would I not be guilty of judging them? wouldn't it be necessary to confess talking behind a person's back? wouldn't I be guilty of the sin of detraction? (the damaging of a person's good name by the revelation of their faults.) I've been guilty of it, I know how easy it is to get frustrated... but like my good mother used to say "they are consecrated" and by the virtue of that consecration I owe them the highest respect. Each one of them is my father. I will not talk badly about my father. If us catholics talk badly about our own Fathers how can we expect respect from non-catholics?

"Mary, Queen of the clergy, pray for them"

Abraham, St. John and God's Will

2007-06-25T08:07:00.000-07:00

"The LORD said to Abram:'Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father's house to a land that I will show you'...Abram went as the LORD directed him..." Gn.12

That's today's gospel...
there is a beautiful mediation of it on the "Word Among Us" website:

As a nomad, Abram spent his life traveling from place to place with his livestock and his family. Like his relatives, he worshipped the gods of his people. Yet one day, Yahweh intervened in Abram’s life with startling generosity. He revealed himself to Abram, calling him to go to a “land that I will show you” (Genesis 12:1). And with these words, God initiated a plan that continues to unfold today, and will go on into eternity.

Abram was deeply touched by God’s revelation, and he gathered his family and his people and went where he was told to go. But God did more than give him a new land; he established a covenant with him. He promised Abram that he would bless him, make him a blessing to others, and even bless anyone who honored this man in any way. He promised to watch over Abram, care for him, and lead him to life and goodness. No longer did Abram have to wander aimlessly, without purpose. He would know that God had created him, loved him, and was dedicated to having a personal relationship with him.

Brothers and sisters, Abram’s story is our story, too. We, too, have been called by name to follow God and receive his blessings. Our heavenly Father is completely committed to lead us, bless us, and share his love with us. He has taken the initiative in our lives by loving us and sending Jesus. What’s more, he has made a covenant with us—and sealed it in nothing less than the blood of his own Son.

Think about all God has done for you, and then ask whether anything can possibly separate you from his love. You are never alone or forgotten, for God is always with you. Is there anything God won’t do to give you a share in his joy, his power, and his plan? Your merciful and generous Father chose you from the beginning of time, and he cherishes you still today. He is committed to bringing you to heaven. He longs for the day when you will join Abraham and all the saints in a chorus of praise and adoration before his throne.

A year ago I was a "nomad"... every christian that found out about my life would look at me in disbelief and then say "just like Abraham!" I moved 12 times around two different continents and 3 different countries. It was out of love for my family. I learned to Love. It was extremlly trying, but it was one of the happiest times of my life. I knew I was doing His Will. That was enough.

But now things have slowed down. Life has become going to work, exercising, eating and sleeping. A normal life. No longer a "pilgrim's" life. Yet even here, in the monotony of today, this is what He asks of me. His Will.

Usually I go to mass to the chapel in a hospital here in town. The priest is from Africa (I love how now Africa, India and the Phillipines are the ones sending the missionaries). And his homily was powerful and beautiful, the main message was this:

In the feast of the Birth of St. John the Baptist we have to think of ourselves, why was I born? just like St. John we are born with a purpose, a
mission... to do God's will. God didn't just created us IN HIS IMAGE and then threw us into the world. He made us with a propose. We are in His Image because like St. John we are also his forerunners. We come before the Lord announcing His comming. Find your purpose, ask Him and He will tell you. His Will might be for you to be a good wife, a good husband, a good child, a good worker,a good priest. If we don't do His Will we will be miserable in this life and in the next. St. John combined two seemingly opposing virtues: humility and fearlessness, let us do God's will humbly and fearlessly!

Last year I was called to be a pilgrim and a daughter. Today I am called to be a daughter and a worker. His Will is always challenging and wonderfully beautiful. And just like with Abraham, Yahweh walks with us and his generosity exceeds everyone's. I bow before You, God of my father's and my God. Your Will be done!

its safe, go ahead, read.

2007-06-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

i know, i know...

2007-06-22T13:04:00.000-07:00

it was just too cute to pass by....

Offering as a Victim to God's Merciful Love

2007-06-22T08:15:00.000-07:00

O my God, most Blessed Trinity, I desire to love You an to make You loved, to work for the glory of your Holy Church by saving souls here below and delivering those who are suffering in purgatory. I desire to perfectly fulfill your will and to reach the degree of glory You have prepared for me in your heavenly kingdom. In one word, I desire to be a Saint, but I know how helpless I am and beg You, O my God! to be Yourself my Holiness.

Since You loved me so much that you gave me your only Son as Saviour and Spouse, the infinite treasures of his merits are min. I joyfully offer them to You, begging You only to see me reflected in the Face of Jesus and in his Hear aflame with love.

In addition I offer You all the merits of the Saints (in Heaven and here on earth), their acts of love as well as those of the Holy Angels. Finally I offer You, O Blessed Trinity! the Love and merits of the Blessed Virgin, my dearest Mother; to her I give my offering, beseeching her to present it to You.

My Beloved Spouse, her divine Son, while here on earth said: "If you ask the Father for anything in my name, he will give it to you!" So, I am certain You will grant my prayer. O my God! I know that the more You want to give the more You make us desire. In my heart I feel immense desires, and I confidently ask You to take possession of my soul. I cannot receive Holy Communion as often as I would like; but Lord are you not the All Powerful?... Abide in me as You do in the tabernacle, do not ever abandon Your little host...

I want so much to console you for the ingratitude of the wicked and I implore You to take from me all possibility of displeasing You. If through weakness i sometimes fall may your Divine Glance immediately purify my soul, consuming all my imperfections, as the burning fire transforms all things into itself...

I thank You, O my God! for all the graces You have bestowed on me and specially for having purified my soul in the crucible of suffering. How joyfully I will contemplate You on the last day, when I see you carrying your sceptre the Cross. Because you have let me share that precious Cross, I hope to resemble You in Heaven and see shining on my glorified body the holy wounds of your Passion...

After this earthly exile I hope to enjoy You forever in Paradise, but I do no want to lay up treasures for myself in Heaven. I wish to work only for love of You, with the sole aim of pleasing You, of consoling Your Sacred Heart, and of saving souls who will love You for all eternity.

In the evening of this life, I will appear before You with empty hands, for i do not ask You , Lord, to count my good works. All our righteousness is imperfect in your eyes. I wish therefore to be clad in your Righteousness and to receive from your Love the everlasting gift of Yourself. I desire no other Throne or Crown than You, O my Beloved!...

In your sight time is nothing, one day is as thousand years. In a single instant You can prepare me to appear before You...

So that my life may be one single act of perfect Love, I offer myself as a holocaust to your Merciful Love, imploring You to consume me without cease, allowing the waves of your infinite tenderness to overflow into my soul, that I become a Martyr of Your Love, O my God!...

May this martyrdom after having prepared me to appear before You, cause me at last to die and may my soul fly without delay into the eternal embrace of Your Merciful Love...

O my Beloved, I desire with each heartbeat, to renew this offering an infinite number of times, until the shadows flee and I can forever repeat my Love to You in an Eternal Face to Face.

Marie, Francoise, Therese of the Child Jesus

and the Holy Face - unworthy Carmelite

Feast of the Most Blessed Trinity

on the 9th day of June in the year of grace 1895

a good friend...

2007-06-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

You all know her, I mean, she is one of the most popular Saints in all history. She's been another one of my good companions. In fact, my decision to follow Christ was because of her. I was around eight I guess and one Saturday morning of "catechism" I was playing and running like a headless chicken inside the empty church when I noticed something in a pew. It was a little booklet. A little comic-book of her life. I read it, cuz I've always been a voracious reader and thought..."I wanna be like her!"

And it all started.

I've read "Story of a Soul" several times. My relationship with her is different than my relationship with Father Francis. Father Francis teaches me, guides me... he is very direct with me. But sweet Therese just implies things to me. Maybe it will be a poem written by her, an image of her face... something that just makes my heart say all over again... "I wanna be like her!"

Last night I was in Adoration and there was a little booklet on her. With her poems. I went home and I read them and prayed them. I was consoled and I fell asleep.

latin lesson of the day

2007-06-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

"Sona si Latine loqueris"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Honk if you speak Latin"

I love latin, you can say whatever and it still sounds intelligent or holy!

the Church

2007-06-19T12:34:00.000-07:00

So I saw an article on the Crescat about negativity towards the Church. I've noticed the same thing in many blogs, and in many magazines... personally I really don't worry about all the issues in the Church, I mean, I don't justify sins in any way, but I just rest assured in that it is HIS Church. I rejoice because the Church will always be glorious and triumphant because of her Groom!!
The Church HAS ALWAYS BEEN and WILL ALWAYS BE strong. Not because its members are faithful or holy... but because the Groom is! The Groom is ALWAYS defending and protecting His Church. After all, it is HIS. Not the liberal's, not the trad's, not the moderate's, not the faithful's, not the dissident's, not yours, not mine...it is HIS Church.

So He'll take care of it. Obviously using us, but still, it is HIS. So I rest assured that the gates of Hell will not prevail.

2007-06-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

In Your wounds, hide me, never allow me to be separated from Thee!

2007-06-18T11:05:00.000-07:00

Click on the picture to read...

Yeah...my thoughts exactly...

woo hoo!

2007-06-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

Guess what day is today...

Yes! you are right!

I give myself and consecrate to the Sacred Heart of our Lord Jesus Christ, my person and my life, my actions, pains and sufferings, so that I may be unwilling to make use of any part of my being other than to honor, love and glorify the Sacred Heart. This is my unchanging purpose, namely, to be all His, and to do all things for the love of Him, at the same time renouncing with all my heart whatever is displeasing to Him. I therefore take You, O Sacred heart, to be the only object of my love, the guardian of my life, my assurance of salvation, the remedy of my weakness and inconstancy, the atonement for all the faults of my life and my sure refuge at the hour of death.

Be then, O Heart of goodness, my justification before God the Father, and turn away from me the strokes of his righteous anger. O Heart of love, I put all my confidence in You, for I fear everything from my own wickedness and frailty, but I hope for all things from Your goodness and bounty.

Remove from me all that can displease You or resist Your holy will; let your pure love imprint Your image so deeply upon my heart, that I shall never be able to forget You or to be separated from You.

May I obtain from all Your loving kindness the grace of having my name written in Your Heart, for in You I desire to place all my happiness and glory, living and dying in bondage to You.

Amen.

-by St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

confetti, balloons and salsa music

2007-06-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

We just hit the 600 mark!! woo hoo!!

Thank you! reader from Spain! if you ever visit again I lived in Barcelona for a while and I just have to say ... Viva Catalunia! and... yo' guys. Thanks all for reading, I hope you all get something useful from this little blog. God bless you!

Christ is Risen.

2007-06-14T10:36:00.000-07:00

If you can read Spanish read this. Its the blog of a Spanish priest in Madrid. This last month they've had four robberies in his parish... and the other night a sacrilege took place. They forced the tabernacle open and the Hosts were all scattered on the floor. The priests narrates how after he saw this he couldn't take it anymore and he broke down crying...

Something similar happened in a parish two hours from where I live. Thank God they didn't got inside the actual Church, just the offices... but still.

And about a month ago in the same town a whole church burned down...

But Our Good Lord is risen! and so this happens again when stuff like this happens to his Church. After the Spanish priest relates how hard it was to see Our Lord like that he goes ahead and tells of how the parishioners were alerted and showed up to clean, pray and restore and they are going to have a big ceremony of Reparation. All around Spain they are getting support and love. Someone is donating new stuff. Christ reigns.

The nuns and friars of the church near my town that was broken into spent all morning sweeping and cleaning, like if nothing had happened. They keep praying their Liturgy of the Hours and going to Mass. Christ Conquers.

And they are rebuilding the burned down church , little by little. Christ restores.

get prepared!

2007-06-13T12:47:00.000-07:00

So, it is coming, pretty soon, this Friday...

The Feast of the Sacred Heart!

Get excited, start asking for Graces, I am SO gonna be at mass this Friday! woo hoo! and you know the best part of it all, is that the main apparitions of the Sacred Heart happened to a nun of the order of the Visitation that St. Francis of Sales founded! St. Margaret Mary Alacoque! Another point for all Salesians!

Go to Jesus, and place yourself gently in His Heart.
Let His fire burn away all iniquity,
Let His fire put your own heart aflame,
and rest.

Pic Me! Pick Me! MeMe!

2007-06-12T09:20:00.000-07:00

well, what was bound to happen has happened... I have been tagged! woo hoo!
thanks Cate! it is the "Personal Policies" meme here is the original description:

"I think it would be safe to say that we all have personal rules that we live by. Surely it's not just ME. I'm not talking about moral rules, like "Do not kill." I'm talking about the silly policies we impose on ourselves, like "Never eat anything you can't identify," or "Don't step on sidewalk cracks." For some reason, I started mentally listing the quirky rules I follow and got curious about other people's personal rules. Hey, why not start a meme?"

mmm... so here we go.

1. When someone is smoking I have to get close and smell.
(I know, disgusting but my dad used to be a smoker, one day during lent he went cold turkey, no withdrawal or anything. But little me, unaware of it, had become a second hand smoker! I have never put a cigarette in my mouth but I just love (a.k.a I am semi-addicted to...) the smoke of cigarettes)

2. When I travel internationally I ALWAYS have to carry my passport and immigration documents on my own person. ( losing them is a personal cause of paranoia)

3. When I am driving I will NOT start the car until every single person puts on their seatbelts (I refuse to have someone die on me!)

4. When I get home I have to take off my shoes and go around barefoot
(being at home with shoes seems to be absurd)

5. This is my personal order of doing things after I get on the internet... I almost always follow this sequence: open the Adoration online window, check Outlook, check my 3 yahoo e-mails, check facebook, check blog... and then whatever. (if I don't open the Adoration window first I feel guilty, ha!)

6. When I go Jackrabbit watching (odd hobby, I admit) if I see one I do not walk towards him, I don't like scaring little animals, and no, even if you tell them you don't want to hurt them they still can't understand you, so don't walk towards them!

so yeah! here it is, if you want to, consider yourself tagged!

stuff # 2

2007-06-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

Note: sorry for the lack of continuity in this post. Just wrote as the thoughts came to my head. enjoy the randomness!
--------------
Man! you gotta read the fiction of Father Robert Hugh Benson! I finished "Come Rack! Come Rope!" two days ago and I just finished today "No other Gods." You can find his stuff here. My favorite one is "No other Gods." This one is not a historical novel, so no references to Martyrs or nothing that actually happened. But the story is beautiful in that it leaves unsaid what it has to be unsaid. You half-finish the story in your mind. But well, I have to say I've been accused of making too much out of novels and reading too much between the lines. But personally I think it is a beautiful, inspiring, joyfully Catholic (yet not overly-pious) story.
--------------
Anywho. Next week I am taking the driving test. Another cultural barrier that's coming down, first was English, now driving, woo hoo!
----------------
Now in a less joyful note, I have a prayer intention... I dunno if things can be solved. As for now I don't think so, but then again, God is all powerful... Please join me:

"Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee"

I throw myself at the feet of my Mother. Surely she'll know what to do next... Maybe She'll just tell me to shut my big mouth and listen and be quiet. Gosh.
----------------------
Father DeSales has been kindoff far off lately. I don't feel him "instructing me" as much as he did for a while. I'm not reading his letters as much as I used to, even though I ask for his intercession from time to time. Presently I think he is standing aside so other members of the Mystical Body can work their influence in me. Like Brother Rafael, the English Martyrs, our Beloved Mother and very specially the Spiritus Sanctus.

Father DeSales knows, like a good father, when to step away for a while.
Still, I pray for his intercession.

Beloved Father Francis, Ora pro nobis!

a letter and a rant.

2007-06-06T08:22:00.001-07:00

A letter to the Holy Spirit:

Beloved:

How beautiful and powerful you are! Fountain of Eternity, my Consoler! I write to ask you to forgive me, Beloved. My eyes have just been opened. In the depths of my heart, even though I did not acknowledge it in my mind, I felt abandoned by You. I saw others weep at your Presence while I remained unmoved. I wanted miracles worked in my soul, and it seemed to me that I received none.

But now I see, just how much you are in me and I in You. You know how much my enemies hate me, how they attack me. I felt tossed by the waves and wept. But now I see that while I wept you kept the boat in control. While I lamented my weakness you were there fighting my enemies. Thanks to You, I've remained in You. And now my eyes are opened at how much you breathe into my Life. And suddenly my life, my past and present which seemed to me engulfed in mild darkness, shines forth by the memory of Your work in it. And my future shines with the promise of Your continued Presence. Beloved, forgive my ingratitude. Now I sing, Thanks! Hosanna to the Spirit of the Lord!

Beloved, please, conquer me.

-------------------------------------------

So, the other day, I saw a huge jackrabbit... let me rephrase that... I saw a MONSTROUSLY ENORMOUS Jackrabbit. It was as big as a middle-sized dog! See, there aren't many animals around here that like jackrabbit for supper...therefore the jackrabbits remain unchallenged. The only thing that threatens their life are cars whenever they decide to cross a street.

But man, this thing was HUGE.

I saw this jackrabbit while I was driving...now, read that again. DRIVING... I know for all of you western people of the world driving is a common activity. But I am almost 22 and I didn't know how to drive until some months ago. I have finally broken that cultural barrier. I am almost "westernized" now... ha! (probably "westernized" is not the right word to use, after all, Mexico is in the western hemisphere...but you get the idea).

I think I am finally ready to take the driving test... please pray that I pass it! If I do my friends have promised to throw a "she-finally-drives" party, just like the "she-got-a-work-permit" party when I received permission from Immigration to work.

Moving up my friends, moving up the social scale

stuff

2007-06-05T08:59:00.001-07:00

Ha! so by now all the readers are gone...sad! sorry for not posting in 4 days! wow! Its because I've spent all my time online reading "Come Rack!Come Rope!" online...mm yeah, my eyes hurt! Beautiful, beautiful. A little "old-school," at the beginning hopelessly cheesy but that just makes it better. Its pretty much the same basic story as "By What Authority?" just different characters and slightly different setting... but still pretty good.

Anyway, at my parish we are starting a Young Adult Group, for those people who don't really fit into the "college student" category anymore but don't feel like joining the 50 year olds who get together for Bible Study... and, we are supposed to write our "testimony" for next week... eek!
I mean, during High School and College I gave my "testimony" several times, but I dunno, this time I am in a weird spiritual place... I think I've gone forward...somehow-ish...I think...mmm..

maybe writing it out will help me realize where I am right now, not that it really matters... my spiritual director keeps telling me "don't worry so much about your soul" not that he wants me to be lukewarm but because I tend to get the over-analyzing/scrupulous/rely on myself instead of God sortof attitude. Maybe I should just write it to "sing the mercies of God" like St. Therese of Liseux.

I might post it once I am done.

God bless!

p.s. I feel that I need get back in touch with Father Francis, I feel I've kindoff neglected him lately... but I bet he would smile and say "the freedom of the children of God!"

second post of the day

2007-06-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

In the John Paul II movie I mentioned in the previous post there is a part when college-aged Karol Wojtyla says "in the face of this abyss of evil, we should respond with an abyss of love!"

What goes on between a soul and God is so intimate it cannot really be expressed with words, so I'm not gonna try to. But when I saw that in the movie I replayed it. Turned off the t.v. and went to take a walk. And I was greatly consoled.

Yay for Mass Media!

2007-06-01T08:09:00.000-07:00

So I am reading "Under What Authority?" a great novel about the English Reformation, I am looking forward to reading "Come Rack! Come Rope!" by the same author on the Project Gutenberg online. They have a bunch of his writings there so I foresee sore eyes from reading a novel in a computer monitor! :) The author is Father Robert Hugh Benson and anglican convert (1871-1914).

"Under What Authority?" is pretty great, specially because it is a historical novel and most of the characters and places are REAL... awesome! It has a great narrative of the martyrdom of St. Edmund Campion and others. I am about to finish it and unless it has an incredibly bad ending I recommend it :)

As I've mentioned before Father Francis De Sales is the patron saint of writers and the Catholic Press, so I am absolutely sure that he would have loved the development of Catholic Fiction. Even thought its audience is pretty limited (I can totally see how a non-catholic would be offended if he read some catholic fiction novels) I think that those who read them benefit tremendously. Fr. Hugh Benson makes a great job of incorporating spirituality and apologetic lessons into the story. I have had to stop at times in my reading in order to take in what he just wrote.

Oh!, I sense an opportunity for shameless advertisement!: talking about Catholic Fiction don't forget to visit my other blog Catholic Parables and enjoy! *end of shameless advertisement*

Another great piece of media is the DVD John Paul II by Ignatius Press. Orthodox, with some artistic freedom but still historically accurate. I am glad finally we are starting to see some good Catholic Movies...some saint movies are... well... lets say that as an Electronic Media and Mass Communications major I wonder how in the world the producers passed Introduction to Film Making!

oh well... (sigh contentedly) I love criticizing Media... after all that is what I was studying for the last 3 years.

end of transmission

Yo People!

2007-05-30T10:57:00.000-07:00

in a pathetic attempt to encourage an exchange of ideas and words I call unto you, oh beloved readers.... Comment!
-----------
So I've never been in England... and in fact I just know ONE english person.... but for some reason I've been reading/learning lots about the Persecution against Catholics during the English Reformation. wow! St. Edmund Campion pray for us!
-----------
nothing else to report on the front...

so it seems...

2007-05-29T09:51:00.001-07:00

You scored as History/Anthropology/LiberalArts, You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in History, Anthropology, or related majors (e.g., African and African-American Studies, Chinese, Classics, Cultural Studies, Economics, English, French, Geography, German, Greek, Hebrew, International Studies, Philosophy, Sociology, Women's Studies, or other Liberal Arts majors).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

88%

Visual&PerformingArts

81%

English/Journalism/Comm

81%

Religion/Theology

75%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

75%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

50%

HR/BusinessManagement

44%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

44%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

44%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

44%

Education/Counseling

44%

Psychology/Sociology

31%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

25%

Mathematics/Statistics

13%

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

So it seems I got the right major...Mass Communications/Journalism with a minor in art... not that I am currently using it... ARRGHH! Anyone! let me use my skills and get paid for it!! arrghh!

stuff stuff

2007-05-29T07:49:00.000-07:00

About the "extra emotional-physical effort" that was required of me...well, Once again He proved Himself to be the Greatest! In fact, what I thought would be taxing and exhausting ended up invigorating me!

Pentecost was this Sunday. I usually don't pray to the Holy Spirit... but this Pentecost has brought around new graces. He is the Consoler. Don't miss out on having a relationship with Him, He is Beauty, Light and Fire. Talk to Him today...

I was out of the country this weekend so I went to a church that I had never been at. Turns out the priest that celebrated is a "new" priest. It was his first mass in that church and he was also "new" as in extremelly young. And when I say "extremely young" I mean extremely young as in the youngest priest I've ever seen. He is probably between 25-28! (went to minor seminary probably at 14 the approved age for minor seminary in this country.)When he came in I was like "is that the priest?" and he was full of zeal, his voice clear and a great Spirit filled homily. Totally humble. Sometimes I read about horrible liturgical-abuse filled Novus Ordo masses...well, you just have to come down to this church to see a liturgically-correct, rightly incultured Novus Ordo mass. Awesome! So, it was a great Pentecost...

a beautiful thing he said during the homily: Every time we resist temptation, every time we chose good, every time we pray...that's the Holy Spirit! I hadn't realized He is so involved in my life. When I breathe he is sustaining me, I battle temptation every single moment and He is there sustaining my thoughts, being my Light in this darkness...Praise the Holy Spirit!!

strenght

2007-05-25T10:23:00.001-07:00

To the Generous Reader:

I appreciate your generosity so much! but I think it will be best if the article we discussed was given to some religious order/church. I know the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal are in England and they are pretty orthodox. Also in the links to the right you will see a bunch of links to Visitation Monasteries (the ones founded by St. Francis). I would LOVE to have this article but the cost to send it where I live would be very high plus I could not assure it gets here in good shape. Thank you again for your generosity! God bless!

-----------------------

Anywho. Its been a trying couple of days. I am exhausted in many ways but some extra-emotional/physical effort has been asked from me. I told Him that I didn't want to do it, that I was too tired...But today at work I received a Grace.

the reading for the Liturgy of the Hours says: "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor 9-10 I am truly exhausted and feel I have not strenght to be patient and loving... but by His Grace I TRUST that HE WILL BE STRONG. I can't but He can!
I believe!

thanks and a sigh...

2007-05-24T10:33:00.001-07:00

To the extremely generous reader who offered to share a piece of Catholic interest
with yours truly:

for some reason when I click on your name it doesn't let me see your profile or anything, so I don't think I have a way of contacting you except through the blog itself. Could you please send me a link to your blog so we can talk about this? thank you for your great generosity and God bless!

------
sigh* today I am a little shaken. Just stuff. struggling... but Ok. Now that I am slowing down I am feeling the aftereffects of the earthquake that this last year was...

There is such an small amount of love in me...

Oh Holy Spirit. Fill the hearts of Thy faithful. Forgive me, cleanse me, wash me and fill me with your fruits and gifts. I am thirsty, a parched land withouth water. Temptations and evil assail me. Save me! I trust entirelly in you, and I let myself rest in You. Oh Sweet Consoler, my Advocate, the very Essence of Love, have mercy on me. Only You can transform me, only You can pour Love in me. I cannot Oh Master! You who flew over the waters at the beginning of time, Pour yourself in me. Conquer me.

My Spiritual Director agreed that I need more "God & I" time. He said those were good decisions. Lord, hold me. Console me. Guard me. I trust in You. I am safe in your arms...
I started by seeking chances of solitude and by going jack-rabbit watching in the vast empty lands around here. Those things always remind me that life is funny, awkward and vastly enjoyable.

being burned out in the desert

2007-05-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

This is a personal rant. Beware. This last year has been one of the most trying and at the same time one of the most blessed. I have moved 12 times, I have been in 10 different cities, in 4 different countries, in 2 different continents. I had to do some family crisis management. In a week I went from being the youngest daughter to being the only provider with a job that pays less than $1500.

Now things are finally settling down...

but towards the middle of this craziness life became a battle. I mean, thanks to His Grace I've stayed faithful but prayer became so structured that I felt I was squizing Him into time slots. Spiritual/ emotional/ financial struggles of all sorts started falling on me. Satan saw I was tired and decided to attack...

But my Christ loves me and would not abandon me and has kept me going and now is leading me to green pastures and to quiet waters. The other day I saw a movie based on the life of St. Francis of Assisi. And I kept thinking, where did all my zeal go? what happened to all the love in my heart? and I usually don't pray to the Holy Spirit (I know, i know) but for some reason I started asking him to come. To transform me. Yesterday at work for some reason I had to take a time management online training... and one of the activities was to rate how satisfied you are with how the different areas of your life are going ...well... it turns out I am not happy with even one of them. And the conclusion... I am burned out.

I mean...duh! but it took the Holy Spirit's power to order everything so I would realize that I am burned out.

So there you go. I am Ali (now say "hello Ali") and I just found out I am burned out.

So its renewal time. Its time to go to green pastures and still waters. I'm going to drop the church groups I am involved in (how can I give what I do not have?), start swimming again, go back to painting and above all get some solitude, spend time alone with Him. I am always surrounded by people and I am in desperate need of JUST Him for a while.

Its break time. (but don't worry! I'm not stopping this blog!)
I am going to go talk with my spiritual director tomorrow, let's see if he has anything to add. I feel good about the decision to drop things and spend some time/money in myself... I don't think its selfish because I am doing it so I can love Him better.

And I am happy because my Shepherd is truly caring for me. Its great. He is taking me into his arms and telling me to slow down. To rest in his arms for a little while. To let Him do the walking.

I love you my beloved Shepherd. I am the luckiest lamb of all the world for having such a master.

trips, comments and one more jackrabbit

2007-05-22T06:36:00.000-07:00

It turns out the course was cancelled because the professor was called by his Order to go somewhere else. *tear. They said that the classes will be available for the Fall.. but man! As a true daughter of this instant-gratification-generation I say "but I want it now!"... anywho.

Oh, and to you all who read this blog...cuz I know there is people reading it (yay for site meter) please comment! so I know if you hate it, love it or wassup. In that way I can improve this little blog. Plus, there is people from all over the world reading this little thing and I would love to say hi! and in some shameless advertising, don't forget to visit Catholic Parables my other blog. ok, enough of shameless advertising, ha!

If you are one of those people blessed with stupidly enormous amounts of money and you have a job in which you can take off whenever you want you should think about going in this Salesian Pilgrimage. (The people over there should pay me for doing all this advertising). Its going through the footsteps of Father Francis in France and Switzerland. I bet its going to be amazing, probably they will see the incorruptible heart of Father Francis over at Annecy!

But if you are one of those blessed mortals that live in Europe and have the joy of being a member of the European Union (no visa to travel woo hoo!) you have no excuse to not have visited these places, I've been in Europe, I know everything is really close (compared to stuff in the Americas) so you should go! As for me I might stop eating and live under a bridge for the next five years. Maybe then I can pay for a ticket ha!

And for the sake of randomness.... a jackrabbit:

God bless all the jackrabbits of the world.

p.s. I apologize for the stream of conciousness writing. I seem to be suffering of the effects of a sugar/caffeine withdrawal.

stuff, prayers and a Salesian Jesuit!

2007-05-21T06:36:00.000-07:00

man... this just goes to prove that sometimes what I think its God's will really is not. Today my course at DeSales university was supposed to start but they sent me an e-mail saying that the course had to be canceled... probably because of lack of people signing up for it. They are sending back the check. Man. I am really disappointed. But oh well, God's will be done...

Please say a prayer for an special intention from yours truly. Something really sucky happened this weekend but hopefully it can be solved... thanks.

Now its time for a little Saint Trivia :) Who is the Jesuit most associated with St. Francis de Sales? A clue... without him we wouldn't know about the devotion to the Sacred Heart. give up?

St. Claude la Colombiere, S.J.

He was the spiritual director of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, the Visitation nun to which Jesus appeared to spread the devotion to the Sacred Heart. Aside from his wisdom in directing souls, he was sent to England during the most virulent anti-catholic period. He was imprisoned and suffered a "dry" martyrdom. Meaning that he suffered everything except death. He was expelled from England and sent back to France where he died of tuberculosis which was aggravated during the harsh treatment he received in imprisonment. Because of his ties with St. Margaret Mary, he is a "Salesian Jesuit" if you want to call him that. He loved the Love of Christ, represented in His Sacred Heart and wrote much including this amazing prayer:

My God, I believe most firmly that Thou watchest over all who hope in Thee, and that we can want for nothing when we rely upon Thee in all things; therefore I am resolved for the future to have no anxieties, and to cast all my cares upon Thee.

People may deprive me of worldly goods and of honors; sickness may take from me my strength and the means of serving Thee; I may even lose Thy grace by sin; but my trust shall never leave me. I will preserve it to the last moment of my life, and the powers of hell shall seek in vain to wrestle it from me.

Let others seek happiness in their wealth, in their talents; let them trust to the purity of their lives, the severity of their mortifications, to the number of their good works, the fervor of their prayers; as for me, O my God, in my very confidence lies all my hope. "For Thou, O Lord, singularly has settled me in hope." This confidence can never be in vain. "No one has hoped in the Lord and has been confounded."

I am assured, therefore, of my eternal happiness, for I firmly hope for it, and all my hope is in Thee. "In Thee, O Lord, I have hoped; let me never be confounded."
I know, alas! I know but too well that I am frail and changeable; I know the power of temptation against the strongest virtue. I have seen stars fall from heaven, and pillars of firmament totter; but these things alarm me not. While I hope in Thee I am sheltered from all misfortune, and I am sure that my trust shall endure, for I rely upon Thee to sustain this unfailing hope.

Finally, I know that my confidence cannot exceed Thy bounty, and that I shall never receive less than I have hoped for from Thee. Therefore I hope that Thou wilt sustain me against my evil inclinations; that Thou wilt protect me against the most furious assaults of the evil one, and that Thou wilt cause my weakness to triumph over my most powerful enemies. I hope that Thou wilt never cease to love me, and that I shall love Thee unceasingly. "In Thee, O Lord, have I hoped; let me never be confounded."

2007-05-16T13:40:00.000-07:00

"He was so impelled by a burning desire to make Jesus known and loved, in fact, that he threw all his talents and energies into helping others develop a personal relationship with God by embracing Jesus Christ in their lives."
Word Among Us. "St. Francis of Sales"

woo hoo!

2007-05-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

I just sent in the check and called DeSales University... so I am almost ready to start the summer online course"The Eucharist" on May 21st!! Woo Hoo! and to make things even better the Professor that's going to give the class is Rev. Thomas F. Dailey, OSFS, S.T.D., Professor of Theology and Director of the Salesian Center for Faith and Culture at DeSales University. Nice!

I am excited. Not only because of the knowledge but also because of the opportunity of meeting people who know about and love St. Francis of Sales. Also because it's been a year since I am out of college and I miss using my brain to acquire knowledge.

Plus I am in a "Show me Thy Will" moment in life, and it was pretty clear that He wanted me to do this, so I am excited to see what will come out of it. Right now I am not fully...mmm.."satisfied" with what I am doing but then again, like Father Francis says, I should just be what I am and be that perfectly. Right now I am a Catholic, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a receptionist. I should be doing that perfectly, and that's plenty challenging... we'll see what You want after that.

ha!

2007-05-16T11:29:00.000-07:00

The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears several confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this. The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see, yes, go on, and I understand, how did you feel about that?"

The new priest says those things, trying them out. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, 'No way! What happened next?'"

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A bunch of priests from a variety of orders had a retreat together in their Archdiocese to pray for an increase in vocations. One night, while they're praying the evening office, the light goes off in their little chapel.

The Benedictines, having memorized the office long ago, continue chanting as though nothing has happened.
The Jesuits immediately begin arguing about whether this dispenses them from their obligation for the day.
The Dominicans return to a discussion they'd begun earlier in the day about the symbolism of darkness throughout Scripture.
The Franciscans begin composing a hymn thanking God for His great darkness.
The Carmelites go deeply into silent contemplation.

The diocesan priest excuses himself, walks down to the janitor's closet, comes back in, and changes the light bulb.

gentleness to self

2007-05-14T11:50:00.000-07:00

Thank you to a very generous reader who offered to pay for the course I want to take. He asked to be anonymous. I decline his offer thankfully, I can cover the expense ok and I am not in as much need as many other worthy causes around this world. Thank you so much though!

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One thing I love about Father DeSales, when someone would get "entangled" in their own fears, scruples and confusions he would tell them to be faithful but to not force it. He always tought anxiety and fear some of the most hurtfull things spiritually.

"Avoid anxiety and worries, for nothing so impedes our progress toward perfection. Place your heart in our Lord's wounds gently, and not by force; have the utmost confidence that in His mercy and kindness He will not forsake you' yet; for all that, do not relax your hold on His holy cross." Letter to Jane de Chantal on May,1604

sigh...

prayers would be appreciated as I place myself gently in His wounds...

Yay! they are orthodox!

2007-05-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

It seems that DeSales university is orthodox! who hoo!! After some little research I found out that they REQUIRE and are PUBLIC about all their Theology professors having the Mandatum... to know that the only U.S. University that is endowed with the Salesian Spirit is orthodox makes me REALLY happy, I bet Father De Sales is proud :) So now I just need to get enough money to enroll in the online course I told you about. Its only $75 but those are $75 that are hard to get! I will let you know how it goes.
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And I got Commissioned yesterday. Wow.

In this ministry, you must be examples of Christian living in faith and conduct; you must strive to grow in holiness through this sacrament of unity and love. Remember that, though many, we are one body because we share the one bread and one cup.

As Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion be, therefore, especially observant of the Lord’s command to love your neighbor. For when he said to them: “This is my commandment, that you should love one another as I have loved you.” Rite of Commissioning.

I know the grace that I need will be provided... if this is just for a lowly EMHC... what would it be for a priest?! man! there is nothing more beautiful in this world than a holy priest! I believe part of the call of a EMHC is to pray for and promote vocations to the priesthood, so one day EMHCs are not needed. But as long as we are needed we should never allow it to become trivial, and we should fulfill our call:
Are you resolved to administer the body and blood of the Lord to your brothers and sisters, and so serve to build up the Church? R/. I am.
Are you resolved to administer the Holy Eucharist with utmost care and reverence? R/. I am.
........

Another thought, had a conversation with a friend the other day. I told him about the Three Great Graces I have received in my life.

1) A craving for God since my earliest youth even though I did not receive a good religious education and even though my family was not religious at all. After school I would (instead of going straight home as I was told to) go to the Cathedral in my Mexican hometown and just sit there.
2) A call to attend Daily Mass. In my junior year in high school a nun friend thought I should be going to mass everyday and told me so. I kindoff refused saying that the only mass I could make was at 7:30 a.m. and I didn't have a car. So she said she would pick me up EVERY DAY from my house at 7. Notice that we didn't live in the same town, which means she had to wake up at around 5, go pick me up, go to mass and drop me off at school. A year later she got transferred but I kept going to daily Mass.
3) My Father De Sales... need I say more?

I don't receive this graces worthily many times and I struggle a lot but I rejoice when I remember these Three Great Graces. They are proof that God loves me, is involved in my life and wants me to be saved.

Commissioning

2007-05-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

Today I am receiving the Rite of Commissioning as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion I am in awe of how God called me to do this, but still I am a little queasy because of what an EMHC is supposed to be:

"The person who has been appointed to be an extraordinary minister of the Holy
Eucharist is necessarily to be duly instructed and should distinguish himself by
his Christian life, faith and morals. Let him strive to be worthy of this great office; let him cultivate devotion to the Holy Eucharist and show himself as an example to the other faithful by his piety and reverence for this most holy Sacrament of the altar. Let no one be chosen whose selection may cause scandal among the faithful." Immensae Caritatis, 1973

I am quite far from that. I do believe EVERYTHING Mother Church teaches (no cafeteria catholic here) and strive to Love Him who loved me first and to love His people. But I know people way more qualified. I am prideful, self righteous, impatient, ignorant, selfish and struggle a lot... but I guess it comes down to the fact that no one is Worthy. But He called. And joyfully I obey. Saint Tarcisius patron saint of Extraordinary Ministers, pray for us!

Now, I know that many people don't like EMHCs because of all the liturgical abuses that go on in some places, but in the hospital I work at there is one catholic chaplain who is also a Parish Priest and there is a LIST of people waiting to receive Holy Communion. There is a valid need for EMHCs here... I know it would be great if we could have religious doing it, but we don't have them available. I will try to get out of it as much as possible, put if the chaplain asks me to help I'll better be prepared. That is why I requested to be Commissioned and trained, and that is why I am signing up for an online Salesian course on the Eucharist at the Salesian Center for Faith and Culture at DeSales University. (does anyone know about them? are they orthodox? they seems so, but if you know something please let me know before I pay for the course!)

Oh my Beautiful Lord, give me the grace to be faithful to you. Cleanse my heart of any imperfection in my intention of serving you as an Extraordinary Minister. If there is any pride, selfishness or self-righteousness, vanish it Oh Lord. May my only reason of action be the Love of You and wanting to console You and your people by bringing You to them. Amen. Mother Mary, pray for us.

I am a...

2007-05-09T07:42:00.000-07:00

I like the definition. Quite accurate though I don't know what they mean by a ''narrow view of orthodoxy." Plus I don't think post V2 years were of ''collapse of the Catholic faith." Though I wouldn't know since I wasn't around preV2, but the Church I've known and loved all my life has been vibrant, alive and orthodox. But maybe that's cuz I am from a third world country. Did I receive a horrible catecheses? (sp?)Yeah, but I don't think preV2 was much better. My parents and grandparents had a tremendous ignorance also but with V2 I have had the chance to correct that through amazing new movements and initiatives very much within the real spirit of V2

You scored as New Catholic. The years following the Second Vatican Council was a time of collapse of the Catholic faith and its traditions. But you are a young person who has rediscovered this lost faith, probably due to the evangelization of Pope John Paul II. You are enthusiastic, refreshing, and somewhat traditional, and you may be considering a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. You reject relativism and the decline in society that you see among your peers. You are seen as being good for the Church.

A possible problem is that you may have a too narrow a view of orthodoxy, and anyway, you are still a youth and not yet mature in your faith.

What is your style of American Catholicism?
created with QuizFarm.com

Random Thought: For a while it seemed that my subconscious wasn't aware of the results of this last conclave, until a couple of weeks ago when I had my first B16 dream. We were both sitting in a very comfortable couch in some fancy house (I think I thought it was his) he was reading a book. We did not talk. We were just chilling. B16 and me.

writing

2007-05-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

Now I realize why I keep wanting to be a writer despite my inability to write... Saint Francis of Sales is the patron saint of writers! ha! how funny...yeah...sure...

so, a new blog for all the Catholic "Parables" I've been writing through time: Catholic Parables
I had to clean up my intention, you know, it shouldn't be about '' read my stories!" but for the Glory of God. I realized Christ used parables all the time, story telling has a great power to bring our hearts to Christ. That is why at the end of each Parable there will be an ''explanation of the Parable" coming from writings of the Saints or from the Magisterium that inspired the story. Not all will be from my authorship. I might put some stuff from the Saints. Well see!

so visit, read, comment, enjoy and invite others!

saints, sleep and Love.

2007-05-07T14:35:00.000-07:00

So... it's dawned on me. At the beginning of my prayer life I had ''night time prayer" It was pretty much just being with Him. We would just talk, or I would read a book and talk to Him, or praise Him with music or art. As my life changed and I needed more structure I was called to the Rosary, and then to the Liturgy of the Hours... but I've always had that "unstructured" just being with Him. Until some months ago. I don't even know when. I graduated from college, and started working. Somehow I became busy with 8 hours of work, giving time to family and friends, a ministry I help out with and structured prayer... but I stopped having the ''just Him and me" time... The structured prayer kept me praying and has fed me so , so I'm not going to say that it has been bad, but definitely it has been really painful, and more difficult. I kept stumbling losing focus of Him... but it was not until today that the relation between lack of my ''just Him and me" time and my difficulties has dawned on me.

See, He had called me (through St. Francis of Sales) to wake up earlier every morning for prayer. First he presented it to me as mortification. And mortification it became! gosh! the first days were wonderful, the stillness, Him. But little by little I stopped going to bed early, so it became harder and harder to wake up in the morning... now I still put on the alarm... but just to shut it off whenever it rings and go back to sleep.

I lost focus again. Its not about mortification. Not about what I am doing for Him... in every single thing that I think I am doing for Him, I should look and realize what He is doing for me. Its not about just plain obedience. Its about LOVE.

So, surfing the web today I found the writings of Hermano Rafael, a Blessed. He was a Spanish Trappist monk. Died in 1938 at the age of 27. Most of his writings are still only in Spanish (this is when I love being bilingual) I read one of his letters to his parents, one of them talks about how he struggles with sleep and how he fights it... and that's when it dawned on me. Through my good brother Rafael. I think I've found a new friend.

Please pray that I become faithful to Him who has loved me first. That I defeat sleep and encounter my beloved in the early hours of the morning. That He reveals himself to me and quiets down my soul. That we fall in love again.

Thanks.

missionaries

2007-05-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

Ha! well, first I apologize for the bad fiction of the last days. I am not much of a fiction writer but for some reason I keep trying. They always end up being horribly sweet. Maybe that explains the slow down in visits. Tear* I promise not to do it again...maybe..

So for an insight into my little world, we are mission territory (nah, its not a cool exotic mission territory, we just happen to be that cuz there are very few catholics) which means most of our priests are foreigners and missionaries. We got African, Indian, Filipino, Korean, Mexican and Irish missionary priests to feed us the Eucharist. Talk about cultural diversity. Anyway, the Irish Pallotines were the first priests that arrived in our little part of the world...and in two weeks the last of them is leaving. He's been here for most of his life as a priest and now he is going back to Ireland... so for most of us for whom Europe is some far-away land that we've heard of some times this is the final good bye. Yesterday, after mass he said ''my superior has asked me to go back, and well...(he choked up and looked down for a moment but composed himself and said) I've always said yes, and I said yes again." There were lots of tears in our little chapel. I mean, this man has been our Father. And now he is leaving.

What amazed me is that he is a very elderly man and at a time when most people are slowing down he is once again called to leave everything behind and re-start a life that he left decades ago. They are calling him back to his home country but definitely not for retirement. They are going to put him to work. Plus everyone in his close family has probably passed away. There is no rest for our priests. No retirement. They are priests forever!

At the end of Mass my dad was too choked up. He just took our priest's hand and kissed it and said "see you next Sunday." Father just smiled and sighed. I told Father that I would go to Ireland and visit him. He chuckled. yeah sure... Man... If I marry I wanted him to be the one presiding the wedding... I guess not.

Our priest here have it so hard. They end up in random parishes in the middle of nowhere, they have to deal with cultural shock. Imagine a mostly Hispanic parish with an Indian priest who used to be a monk! Yet they are all wonderfully orthodox, loving and kind.

Today, say a prayer for all the missionaries that leave their countries, family, language, culture and traditions and love their little flock in barren lands.

And say a special prayer for Father Mike of the Irish Pallotines.

The Nativity

2007-05-04T08:41:00.001-07:00

“In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. And everyone went to his own town to register. So Joseph … went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.”
Lk. 1:1-5

Mary went through the small stone room in her parents home, taking some clothes for the journey, putting all of them in a bundle. Packing for the trip. Her back was aching and she felt her son moving. She paused for a moment and looked around the room. A dim morning light poured in through the small window. She remembered. The angel had appeared in this room. The memories of the visit were clear even though it had been eight months ago. She breathed in, trying to go back to that moment. The light. The Presence. But for a moment her mind wandered into the memories of what happened after the angel had gone. The recriminations. The tears. The fear. But she dispelled those memories like a bad dream. It was over. The angel had spoken to Joseph. He had knelt and in tears had asked for forgiveness as her astounded parents looked. Her heart had poured in thanksgiving. After that her parents kept quiet. They never discussed the events. It was as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Mary was married to Joseph. Mary was going to have a baby. Nothing else.

Anna came into the room and without saying a word she started helping her around. Nothing new. They’ve never been many words between them. Mary was done with her packing. Her father came in and in silence took the bundle. Joseph was already outside waiting and they started walking out but suddenly Joachim stopped and turned around. Mary stood there as a pillar. It had been a long time since his father had looked her into the eyes. ‘Mary…’’ he started but his voice cracked. Anna lowered her eyes and stood there. Joachim composed himself. ‘Mary…if we don’t see you again…’’ Mary smiled ‘Oh papa, don’t say such things. The trip is long, I know, but we will be back before the year is over. We are just going for the census. We’ll be back soon.’’ But Joachim shook his head sadly. ‘Mary, if we don’t see you again…well… I just wanted to tell you …that we believe you…’’ Joachim paused and looked at Mary and his whole being trembled. ‘that we do believe you are the Mother of the Messiah.’’ Joachim’s being shook and he felt himself an old man. He looked at his fifteen year old daughter. And she looked tall and strong like an Ivory Column. His knees felt weak, was he supposed to kneel? But before he could decide his daughter was embracing him. ‘Oh papa, I love you’ Joachim sobbed softly. “that’s how I knew it was true Mary, no angel appeared to me. I just saw how you forgave everything and loved us … anyone can lie, but no one who lies can love so perfectly.’’ Mary let go of her father and saw her mother sobbing quietly. Mary approached her and embraced her too. ‘Oh child…’ Anna wept. Mary was surprised at how frail she seemed. Marys heart broke in kindness and love and the thought of never seeing them again scared her. But there was no reason to fear. She knew Joseph would bring her back safely. They would just go for the census, maybe the baby would have to be born in Bethlehem, but they would be back for sure at the end of the year.

Copyright© 2007 ViveJesus! May not be copied in any form (including blogs)without permission

Icon

2007-05-04T08:17:00.000-07:00

My heart shrinks into a knot.
I am leaving the convent.

I sit alone in the office of Mother Superior. She just walked out to attend a visitor. We had been going over the small procedures that have to be taken care of before I leave. The process is simple. After all, I am just a postulant. Postulants leaving are the most common thing in a convent.

The last rays of sunlight fall on the scattered pieces of paper over the desk. The convent, the sisters, my plans, they all walked out of my life when Mother Superior did, and I remain by myself, in the simple office, with the Icon.

It rests on the wall behind Mother’s desk and I look sadly upon it. It is a reproduction of the Icon painted by Andrei Rublev. It recounts the hospitality of Abraham toward three strangers who turned out to be angels. The angels sit around a table, facing me. It is called the Old Testament Trinity because the three angels symbolize the three persons of the Trinity.

It is my God.

A golden image of my God.

I sigh. Since childhood the convent had been my dream. The habit, my goal. Just as my little friends dreamt of a prince charming I dreamt of my final profession. Where did I got that dream from? I thought that it was from God…I guess not.

The monotony is what got me. The schedule, the bells had slowly choked me. A horizon where I could exactly predict what I would be doing at 3 p.m. for the rest of my life terrified me. I blamed the convent, religious life, the whole concept of it, but then I noticed the other postulants. They were beaming. They talked about the freedom they experienced. It was not only talk, I saw them increase in charity and patience day by day. It was real. Their freedom was real. But not for me.

I was sincere. But sincerity is not enough. There had to be a call and surprisingly to me, I did not have it.

Mother Superior had consoled me and encouraged me, but at the end she had agreed. It is time to leave.

It had been my goal. My dream. The place I belonged at. But I was wrong all the time…

What now?

I know it will be ok. I know there is a place, somewhere for me. But… I was so sure of where my home was, yet now I’m left alone. The family I was sure I belonged to turned out to be for someone else.

I breathe in, but there doesn’t seem to be enough air in the room.

The three angels look at me from their sea of gold. One of the angels is pointing at the table. The food is served. “Where?” my soul whispers. And suddenly grace arrives, like a wave touching the shore.

There is a free spot around His table.

A free spot…a place.

“With Me” He answers.

And I smile.

Copyright© 2007 ViveJesus! May not be copied in any form (including blogs)without permission

relics and stuff

2007-05-04T07:46:00.000-07:00

Loving Kindness. Our God is so good. Sometimes I grow scared because of the amount of evil in this messed up world. Sometimes the enemies of my soul attack furiously. And I grow scared. But how wonderful, how great, how glorious it is to have Our Good God. Our Good Shepherd, who takes us in his arms. Who never leaves when the wolves are close by. Who will defend us with His very life. I am safe. We are safe. We are in the arms of Christ, all we have to do is rest our heads against his chest, ignore the raging of the enemies and concentrate on the beating of His Heart.

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On another note, a reader commented he/she has a relic of St. Francis of Sales...man!! does anyone know what is the process to get a relic? I mean, I know a first degree is kindoff impossible, but how could I get a second or third degree? thanks! Oh! and I read somewhere that in a Visitation Convent in Italy they have his incorruptible heart! That is just amazing!

By the way, I should get back into reading his letters.. I've been kindoff neglecting him cuz' I've been having a hard time spiritually. Which is a stupid thing to do, I have to say...

Anywho, I read in a book of his letters "While feeling a holy envy for those souls to whom these letters were written..." and it got me thinking. Yeah, it would have been great to be alive back then and to be able to meet him personally, but when we think about it, they didn't have 24/7 access to him, I mean, he was an incredibly busy Bishop...but we do!

Also, before he went to Heaven, he was still very much limited by time and space, meaning that even those closest to him (Jane de Chantal) suffered separation from their beloved director... but we don't! It is true that I don't get to go to Confession with him, but most of the time neither did the people who knew him personally. So actually, I think we have it better. 24/7 access! God is so good.who hoo!

hair, turtles, worship and service

2007-05-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

Cut my hair yesterday, from extremelly long it went to barely under my jaw... WOW! BIG CHANGE! I have to get used to it, I keep looking at myself in the mirror and wondering who that is! ha ha! Anyways, I'm sending the ponytail to Locks of Love, you donate your hair and they make wigs for kids with cancer. Pretty cool if you ask me, I know several people with cancer and plus, its just hair! hair grows back! If you are thinking about cutting your long hair anytime soon, I really recommend doing the Locks of Love thing. Cutting my hair is always a big change, it really shows me how vain I can be! I like it but I keep comparing my hair to my friends! man! that is so high school! I am supposed to be beyond that! Oh well, I wonder what Father DeSales would say, he would probably tell me I analyze things too much and that yes, indeed, I am very vain.

Anywho. Now its time for a little rant.

And obtain for me, Oh Mary, love of God and love of neighbor.

These last days I’ve been having some minor revelations which all put together have made me understand so much! They come from His two fold commandment of “love God and love your neighbor.” Somewhere amongst the many things I read, I read that worship and service are the ways in which we love God. I had never though deeply about worship and service and how this two fulfill the Commandment. Its pretty amazing stuff!

WORSHIP
You know how it is if you go to daily mass for a while. At some point you kind off stop paying attention, your mind wanders, you start thinking about jackrabbits and turtles and all kinds of random stuff. Mass becomes this time to “unwind.” If you are lucky the bells of the consecration startle you and you make a minor effort to pay attention again…wait.. no? you never get distracted? Well, then its probably just little pagan me. Anyway, it happens to me often and sadly I have to say I hadn’t put much effort into fixing the situation. I just hadn’t realized the importance of it. But lately I have been reading all this blogs that talked about the importance of the Liturgy and I also read about their frustration with liturgical abuses. But I kept thinking "c'mon, the love in our hearts is what matters, what’s the big deal?”

Well…now I get what’s the big deal! Thanks to the random discovery of an old Baltimore Catechism I’ve learned that the Mass is our main act of worship to our God, it’s the moment when we are truly before Him offering him the Eternal Sacrifice! Yeah, I know that you all knew this, but people! This is news to me! I’ve probably heard it somewhere before but for the first time in my life these last days I’ve listened!

The love in my heart is expressed through my preparation, attentiveness and thanksgiving in Mass. I might have love in my heart for my boyfriend, but if I don’t pay attention to what he says, or make a minimum effort to prepare for a date or thank him for his kindness then…well… I doubt the truthfulness of that love!

Also, all other forms of worship derive from the Mass. For example Adoration, the Liturgy of the Hours, personal prayer, our daily work and sacrifices, aspirations through out the day… our punctual, diligent, beauty-filled, celebration of this acts of worship point to the reality of our Love for Him who loved us first!

SERVICE

But His commandment is not only ''Love your God", it also says ''Love your neighbor," since how can we love God who we can't see if we don't love our neighbor that we see?

I knew this, obviously, but just lately I’ve started to understand what it means.
The first epiphany was about what LOVING means. For a long time I used to think that loving my neighbor was not gossiping, not lying, not being impatient or angry.... but now I realize one thing...that is just not offending my neighbor! I am called to love them, not only to not offend them! I am called to go out of my way to be kind, gentle and truly of service! I am not only called to not get angry, I am called to be patient and loving. I’m not only called to not ignore people, I am called to befriend the friendless, to give that person no one invites to things a call. To do everything with a smile. When anyone leaves my presence he or she should feel cared for! not only not offended! We are held to a higher standard. If right now we are just “not offending’’ our neighbor, then we should be doing more. Going the “extra-mile” should be an every-encounter routine.

My second little epiphany had to do with PROXIMITY. When I was younger I wanted to go ''off somewhere'' and do ''God's work," you know, do the whole missionary thing. Going to another country, doing grand things, write big books, heal the sick, console the poor somewhere far off... but then reality sets in. My obligations to my family have ''limited me'' and I am now in a small city, and it seems I might be here for the long run. But then God slapped me and made me understand. Apart from the pride that was involved into wanting to do ''grand things for God but according to my will," I realized I am to love those closest, because if I don't how could I ever love strangers? If I don't love those that I can see, how could I ever truly love those off in Asia or Africa that I do not see?

If I don't love those closest to me it is almost a sure sign that my love for strangers is false and based on pride. Mother Teresa said: "It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start." she also said "Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home."

I think that if we want to Love we should begin with our family. These people are usually the ones that upset us the most, many times if we treated our friends like we treat our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers we would be friendless pretty soon. I know that many people don’t live near their families, but still, these are the people that God, in His plan, has designated to be in our hearts forever, for better of for worse. A friend might stop being one but your father will always be your father.

And when we do ministry (as all of us should) I say, look around the town you are at! There is a reason we are where we are right now. I became surprised at seeing the poverty that exists in my town, the homeless, the poor recent immigrants, the abandoned elderly... they are all right here, right now. I can go and give them a visit, but instead I send money to some far away organization and feel good about myself. I am not saying that you should stop supporting the ''save africa" or ''save china'' organizations... I am just saying that we should focus on those closest to us. These are the people the Lord has put in our path. These are the main people we are supposed to love and serve. Obviously there are those called to be missionaries, but I bet a missionary will never be effective if he didn't love those closest to him before he went off.

So in conclusion. Lets be prepared, attentive and thankful for Mass. Let all our acts of worship be truly fulfilling our call to Love God. And let us love our neighbor, the one closest to us, by not only not offending them, but by loving them to the point of sacrifice.

End of rant.

2007-04-30T13:26:00.000-07:00

"I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.The hired hand is not the shepherd who owns the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep. I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:11-15

I had never seen Him like this. Standing in a Palestinian field, surrounded by sheep. The sheep ain't that white and beautiful. They've been grazing and their coats are filled with the dust of the road. His own clothes are also full of dust, his feet caked in dirt. His eyes forever squinting because of the sun. And the sheep grazing, quitely and joyfully at His feet. They know they are safe. He is right there, amongst them. The Lord is MY shepherd. Not "a" shepherd or "the" shepherd. He is MINE and I am His...

leave all to Him

2007-04-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

the other day I posted in "Daily with De Sales" the quote for April 29 instead of April 26. It was a Providential "mistake."

So long as we tackle all our troubles ourselves, we shall be always worried and tired, and Our Lord will leave us to our own devices; but when we leave everything to Him, He will look after all our troubles Himself. The interest that God will have for us will be in proportion to the degree that we abandon ourselves to Him. I am not just speaking of temporal things, but also of spiritual ones. The Lord Himself taught this same truth to His beloved Saint Catherine of Siena: "Always think about me, my daughter, and I will think about you." Oh, how happy are those loving souls who know how to observe this rule, thinking only about the Lord, faithfully keeping themselves in His presence, listening to what He has to say to their hearts, obeying His divine inspiration and attractions, and not living or aspiring for anything but to please Him. (Sermons 71; O. X, p. 300)

I had been trying ''too hard.'' You know, prayer, mortification, ''dying to self'' all that good stuff but growing tired and discouraged at nos seeing "progress" ... and then this comes up: "but when we leave everything to Him, He will look after all our troubles Himself. " He is the one sanctifying me. Not me. Its not about me. Its about Him. It not about being ''sanctified'' its about living with Him.

We should become Saints without even realizing.
Just sitting at His feet.

.............................................................

and now...randomness:

don't ask, my brain works in weird ways. Turtles and Jackrabbits... yeah.

Mexico legalizes abortion

2007-04-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

Mexico City legalizes abortion

I am deeply saddened. I am ashamed. I really never thought this could happen in my home country... talk of it never really reached me. I felt that it would never go through. ''come on!" I would tell myself "it's Mexico! they are crazy to think that would ever happen!" Well, I was blind.

I've been ignoring the news for a while. Just chilling in my own little world. I haven't checked the news or prayed about them in a long time. Well, that's gotta change. I got enough stuff to offer up and enough time to pray.

I'm shocked and I can't believe it.

wait for the Groom

2007-04-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

Lord. Child, where are you, where have you taken yourself?
Soul. (stares to the ground dejected, not hearing His voice) I hear nothing. Passions battle within me and I fight back. Confusion rages in my mind... why am I fighting again?
Lord. Child, look up.
Soul. I mortify my flesh, I mortify the senses. I pray unceasingly repeating over and over the psalms that I memorized. But they are like sand in my mouth and my heart is heavy.
Lord. Child, listen.
Soul. (still without hearing) Pain, pain, pain. Where am I supposed to look for help? I look up to the heavens and I receive nothing. And the Christ in the icon stares at me. Pursed lips, intense eyes without tenderness. Did I use the right antiphon today at lauds?

The Lord walks slowly and stands before the Soul. The Soul seems to look through Him.

Soul. (sounding dejected, not confessing, just complaining) I did not wake up in time today for the meditation. I said Lauds. I did not pray Lauds. I just said them. I envied, I was selfish, I answered back to my superiors, or even worse, I judged them. I tried to say aspirations and I found cynicism in my heart. It scared me. (the Soul looks at her hands in horror, and weeps frightened) I am a hypocrite! I am false! I am a lie! Do I even long for holiness any more? What is holiness? can I honestly say that I want to deny myself, to become withered and old and alone? To deny my senses to the point that when I eat a sweet I feel guilty the next three days and fear for my soul? when my heart grumbles when the bells call for vespers? The Rosary feels heavy in my hands! Is this holiness? The yoke is heavy, my soul is alone. No one understand, not even myself... And the horrors that assail me! How darkness hunts me! Oh I cannot say more! ( the soul covers her face and weeps)

Lord. (with profound tenderness) Child, where have you taken yourself?

The Lord takes a step towards the soul and embraces her. The soul sobs even louder and the sound of the weeping fills the area. The Lord keeps quiet as the soul quiets down gradually until there is absolute silence. The Lord lets go and takes a step back.

Lord. Child

Soul. (still does not see but seems to hear something far away) Lord... could it be? is it you?
(the soul grows agitated and searches around, ignoring the fact that He is standing in front) Oh Lord! its been so long! Oh let me pour my sorrows! let me tell you how...
The Lord puts his finger on her lips and she immediately quiets downs. She looks straight and seems like she is starting to see something.

Lord. Be not afraid. It is I. (He retires his finger from her lips, the soul looks at him not quite recognizing Him yet)

Soul. Lord...where have I been?

Lord. Always in my heart.

Soul. Oh Lord. I've suffered much.

Lord. I know. Suffer no more child. I am here. You drowned in sand, in tools, in mortification and prayers. You forgot why you fight.

Soul. For you, now I remember....for You. But Lord, I do not know you. I pray and fast and fight. I exhaust myself reading and reciting until the middle of the night. Demons come to torment me all night long and I fight and bleed. Yet I do not know you! What am I doing wrong?

Lord. Oh Child, you know about me. But you do not know me. Do you think you can save yourself? while you were occupied Why don't you just ask me?

Soul. ask you?

Lord. Yes. Only I can reveal myself.

(the soul seems taken aback at the simplicity of it. It seems that it doubts it and turns to the side, thinking that He cannot hear her, and thinking out loud)

Soul. Could it really be that simple? maybe this is another demon that is here to make become lax and abandon prayer and mortification. Is this an enemy? is this Him for whom I fight? And if it is Him, why does my heart not burn in love? Do I really lack that much love? (the soul paces back and forward, The Lord observes) Well... let us remember Truth. Is this one lying? From what I know about Him, does He want me to know Him? Truth is, there is truth in His words. I have been prideful to think that by my own means I can meet him. Why then mortify and pray? But then, he never said nothing about abandoning this practices. After all... even if I do not understand I know one thing...It is His Will. (after saying this the soul stops for a moment an closes her eyes) His Will. (she repeats delighting in the words. Suddenly she opens her eyes in delight, turns back to the Lord and takes His pierced hands in her hands) Oh Beloved! Reveal yourself to me! See how my heart is cold and without feeling, inflame me with Your Love!

Lord. (Delighted he looks upon her) Now, wait in patience, as your eyes clear out through loving prayer and mortification. Do not concern yourself, you will see me little by little. Do not doubt the Truth you've learned in your many books. Its real. I am Trinity, I am true man and true God. I am eternal, all just, all merciful, all knowing, all powerful. I am virtue. Those not in virtue are not in me. I love You. These are Truth. Use it as a lighthouse when the demons surround you in darkness and want to confuse you. Study, mortify, pray and act in virtue but all out of Love. If demons rage come to me in patience, and sit at my feet. And wait for the Groom.

2007-04-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

Ohh... one day..when I am rich and have a house... I will have a beautiful Welsh Corgi... *tear *tear. I would name him Pancho.

St. Francis' Crisis

2007-04-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

I love saints because they are real human beings. They experienced the same joys and pains we do, struggled with the same things, some of them are recovering addicts(Venerable Matt Talbot), others violent men (St. Paul), some of them became whole after emotional (and some of them even mental!) breakdowns (St. Albert), other's faced many other kind of crisis in their families(St. Margaret Mary) or in their spiritual life (St. Therese). They are human, and show us that being human and submerged in all our brokenness does not mean we cannot rise and become holy.

St. Francis of Sales is no different, and I love him so because of it.

When he was young he went to the College de Clermont in Paris where he was engulfed in a personal crisis. After attending a theological discussions about predestination he became increasingly oppressed with the thought that he was damned to hell. For a long time he lived in horrible and terrifying fear. In December 1586 his despair was so great that he was physically ill and even bed ridden for a time. In January 1587 he visited the Church Saint-Etienne des Gres with great difficulty. There in the middle of his despair he made an act of abandonment to God's will and devoutly recited the Memorae. At that instant Our Lord through the intercession of Our Lady lifted that heavy yoke from the saint's shoulders. Francis found himself free, rejoicing in the knowledge that Our Lord is a Loving God. There and then he made a vow of celibacy in order to dedicate his life to God.
If you want to read more about his crisis and its meaning there's an article on the Salesian Center written by (I think) a visitation nun. You can read it here.
Obviously the amazing thing is not that he had a crisis... the wonderful thing is that God raised Him up, just as He can raise us up from any kind of crisis. God is in our side, we need no to be ashamed of our brokenness. He has used broken vessels before and keeps doing it.

If you are suffering through some sort of crisis, and even if you are not, join me in this prayer please. Let us be confident in the knowledge that Our Lord loves us and so does Our Lady and all the saints.

Remember Oh most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thy intercession was left unaided, inspired by this confidence I fly unto thee Oh Virgin of Virgins! My Mother! to thee do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful, Oh Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions but in thy mercy hear and answer me!"

just a comment

2007-04-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

I took off the Virginia Tech ribbon, just following the Mexican tradition of public mourning for 8 days (an octave!). We will all mourn privately for years and years after this. But let us shed the spirit of heaviness and let His Light clothe us with garments of Praise and Hope.

2007-04-23T09:18:00.000-07:00

Thank you people for the great comments :D, I have to say that this blogging thing is going better than I expected! Sorry for disappearing during the weekend, that will probably be the way things work. I usually blog when I have a break at work and nothing else to do, but at home and specially during the weekend, well, its family and friends time! fidei defensor mentioned that ''roman catholic mexican'' was not very descriptive, so I guess I owe you all something a little more about yours truly.

No, I am not a Salesian, just a trying-to-be devout Catholic twenty something. Mexican, which means under the special protection of Our Lady of Guadalupe. An artist... or a wannabe artist, depending in how you define ''artist.'' An immigrant with all the joys and pains that entails. A globetrotter since it seems God likes taking me around the world (almost without me having a say) so at times I've ended up in U.S., Bosnia, Spain, France, plus several cities in Mexico.

So I guess that makes me a Mexican Roman Catholic immigrant globetrotter female artist ... HA!

God bless.

Mental Prayer

2007-04-20T12:36:00.000-07:00

wow! I never tought so many people would visit this blog! Praise God, that only means I've got to make it better! any recommendations? Anyways, thought we would talk about the method of ''mental prayer'' of Father De Sales.

1. Place yourself in the presence of God which can be done by any of the following means, but we should not attempt to use them all at once. Pick the one you ''click'' with:

saying with all your heart ''surely God is in this place'' or something like that
reflect that He is within you

reflect on Him looking down from Heaven

through imagination picture him present

2. Invoke His aid by short petitions like ''Make thy face to shine upon Thy servant, and teach me thine ordinances" or other short petitions asking for His help.

3. The Mystery. This is when you ''see'' the mystery you are trying to meditate on. I've found it helpful to meditate on the Gospel of the daily Mass readings. That way I can make sure I don't run out of themes for meditation. Father De Sales recommends using the imagination. I am very easily distracted so for this step I read the Gospel slowly.

4.Reflections. This is when you notice something specific in the mystery you are meditating on, for example in today's Gospel I noticed ''Looking up, Jesus saw the crowds approaching and said to Philip, ‘Where can we buy some bread for these people to eat?" As I understand it, in this step we are to reflect why this strikes us. For me it is the fact that Jesus is so thoughtful and observant of peoples' needs. True love of neighbor in action.

5.Affections. What is your response to that reflection as it applies in your life? for me in today's Gospel it was ''Lord! That I could be observant of others' needs and by that live true love of neighbor!"

6. Resolution. Father De Sales says that ''you must not rest satisfied with general desires and aspirations, bur rather turn them into special resolutions for your individual correction and amendment" going all the way to specific situations and persons. For me it was the resolution to be observant of my family's needs today. To actually think about it. And very specifically to be observant of the needs of my grandparents. They live in a different country and are having a hard time with aging. A phone call gives them lots of joy but I barely make one from time to time. I resolved to call them each week. They have a need for attention and love and I can help.

I just barely started doing this kind of meditation and I think it is great that it focuses so much on Results, as Father says: " That desire is worth little unless you proceed to some practical resolution... in this way you will soon correct your faults, whereas mere desires will have but few and tardy results"

The jackrabbit has nothing to do with anything in the post...I just took a walk and there was an invation of jackrabbits in that field! I mean, seriously, I saw about 8 in total just standing there, munching and chilling...they crack me up. The are the akwardest animals created... and they are my favorites!

New Feature!

2007-04-18T07:26:00.000-07:00

The wonderful Oblates of St. Francis of Sales have a Salesian Spirituality Center online which has all kinds of wonderful resources. One of them is "Daily with DeSales" which contains a thought or saying from the writings of St. Francis de Sales for each day. I check it every day so I've decided to make it readily available to you :D To the right of the page you will find the De Sales quote of the day each day. Don't forget to pay a visit to the Oblates' website. Its quite great.

Virginia Tech 2

2007-04-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

You all have probably heard about the Virginia Tech tragedy. I really don't want to talk about it. Last night I could picture Christ weeping. Christ in the cross for those who died in fear, and who knows whether they were prepared to meet their Lord. Christ weeping for those for whom this tragedy will affect their faith... It was too sudden, too violent. Christ weeping because His children are weeping, Christ sobbing for the soul of the killer... The sad and scary thing is that there are many souls like that one. Please, offer today your sorrows and pains for the souls that right now in this moment are getting swallowed up by darkness. No sinner is too far from Christ...

Oh Lord God, allow me to cleanse your tears, just like Veronica did,I offer you my pain, joys, sorrows, work and prayers for those who are in most need of Your Mercy, specially for the violent and the tormented, that you might be glorified in their conversion. Oh Christ, find comfort in this, my humble heart, the heart of a sinner that You have rescued and stillrescue every day.
Mother Mary, bring to you the most hardened sinners just like you are slowly transforming me by drawing me to Your Immaculate Heart.St. Paul, you who were transformed from a violent man into a reflection of the love of Christ, pray for us. Jesus, Mercy!

I don't want to talk about this anymore. "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."Phil 4:8. So let us praise the Mercy of God, His Love and His glorious Redemption that has converted and will keep converting us sinners! Let us rejoice in that after this tragedy thousands, maybe millions of people are praying and being united! Let us rejoice because the Lamb has conquered death and violence!

Virgina Tech

2007-04-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May they rest in peace.

Amen.

venial sin IS NOT ok ! !

2007-04-17T09:44:00.000-07:00

Once again St. Francis of Sales comes to the rescue:

You will discover then, my daughter... there yet linger in your heart various inclinations and dispositions to venial sin... we can never be wholly free from venial sins, at least not for any length of time, but we can be without affection for them. There is a wide difference between a chance falsehood concerning some trivial matter, which is the result of carelessness, and taking pleasure in falsehood or deliberately telling lies. Therefore I say we must purify the soul from all inclination to venial sins, that is to say, we must never willingly admit or continue in any kind of venial sin whatever. It would indeed be a fearful thing wittingly to burden our conscience with anything so offensive to God as a will to displease Him. And venial sin, however slight, does displease Him...If therefore venial sin so displeases God, all consent and affection on our part to it is nothing less than a willingness to displease His Divine Majesty. Can any pious soul not only offend God, but take pleasure in doing so?(Introduction. Part I, Chp.22)

And an interesting thought... we might be tempted to think " I don't really have any desire to be slothful or selfish, etc" but if God grants us light and we see deep enough we might find that we use other names for our particular sin.

We may have willful inclination to laziness and sloth under the name of ‘’rest and recreation’’, selfishness under the name of ‘’independence" or "respect,” and pride under the title of “intelligence’’ or ''intellectualism.'' Here I'm preaching to myself by the way. It is so easy to justify our sins...

Saint Francis' letters

2007-04-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

Fr. Nicholas has just linked this blog at his blog. I'm quite honored I have to say :)

Anyway, when I first started reading St. Francis of Sales Introduction I had the same reaction as many. I read the first couple of chapters and dropped it because of the language! But thank God, St. Francis of Sales was not willing to let me go that easily so I came upon a book of his letters.

I feel the letters truly reflect his spirit and personality. In his letters he is intimate and direct, in a true fatherly tone. He lets go of the style of a work for publication and writes freely and intimately.

I haven't been able to find anywhere online where you can read his letters so from time to time I'm going to type up little sections of the letters (so I don't get sued for Copyright!), if you want to read the complete letters you can do so by buying the books Thy Will Be Done or Letters of Spiritual Direction. By the way, apologies to those who find fault with my English, I ain't a native speaker, I apologize at my horrible grammar and promise to work on it! Anyway, enjoy the letters:

To a young woman who is discouraged by spiritual failures.

... My good daughter, as you have half got out of those terrible paths that you have had to travel, I think you should now take a little rest, and consider the vanity of the human spirit, how prone it is to entangle and embarrass itself within itself... So know, take a little breath, rest a little, and by considering the dangers escaped, avert those that might come afterward...Know that the virtue of patience is the one that most assures us of perfection; and if we must have patience with others, so we must with ourselves...Pray hard for me, I beg you. It is incredible how pressed down and oppressed I am by this great and difficult charge. This charity you owe me by the laws of our alliance, and I pay you back by the continual memory that I keep of you at the altar in my feeble prayers. Blessed be our Lord. I beg Him to be your heart, your soul, your life; and I am
Your servant
Francis.

Art, the Incarnation and a Saint.

2007-04-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

As a Catholic painter one of my main motifs has been the Ecce Homo. I am always in the lookout for unknown ''ecce homo'' paintings. Two of them have been specially significant not only in my art but in my spiritual life. One of them is this one. It was painted in the 1800's. Pretty modern in its sketch-like characteristics yet ''incarnational'' enough to be inside a Church.

Personally I believe religious art for Sanctuaries should reflect the Incarnation and therefore cannot be overly abstract. The theology behind the use of images in religious worship comes straight from the Incarnation. The Word was made flesh. That is the reason, in fact the only reason, of why we can now depict God in painting.

I am not saying that abstract art does not have a place in the ''religious art'' gallery. My own religious art tends to be mainly abstract. It does have a place...but that place is NOT inside a Church.I would never accept for one of my abstract paintings or one of my ''least realistic'' paintings to be put on a Sanctuary. It doesn't reflect the Incarnation as well as a ''realistic'' painting.

In this Ecce Homo, the wounds in the chest of Christ are powerful and painful to look at. The ropes around his neck break the straight line monotony of the background and provide fluidity and variety to the composition. One of the most touching characteristics is the red robe around the broken body of Christ. His Sacred Heart almost seems to behind the cloak. This Christ is real. You can almost see him breathing heavily and slowly. Its a real man. A real God.

But the most important characteristic of this painting is that it was painted in prayer, meditation and redemptive suffering by a great Polish Saint. Saint Brother Albert, whose baptismal name was Albert Chmielowski. There are many religious paintings, but very few of them have been created by canonized Saints. That is what makes this one so special. The heart in which this painting was conceived was a heart full of the presence of the Trinity.

Born to a wealthy aristocratic family, Albert Chmielwoski initially studied agriculture in order to manage the family estate. Involved in politics from his youth, he lost a leg at age 17 when injured while fighting in an insurrection. In Krakow, he became a popular, well-known and well-liked artist. Through his religious art he developed a growing relationship with Christ. Also his interest in politics and art made him keenly aware of the human misery around him. A gentle and compassionate soul, he felt called to help those in need.

He entered the Jesuits but because of an intense spiritual crisis he had to leave. His peace was restored when listening to a sermon on the Mercy and Love of God.

After years of reflection, he understood God was calling him to service and to Himself. He became a Franciscan Tertiary, taking the name Albert. He abandoned painting, and began a life of working with and for the poorest of Krakow. In1887 he founded the Brothers of the Third Order of Saint Francis, Servants of the Poor, known as the Albertines (named for him) or the Gray Brothers (after their rough gray habits). In 1891 he founded the women's congregation of the Order (Gray Sisters). The Albertines organized food and shelter for the poor and homeless.

Albert preached that the great calamity of our time was that so many refused to see and voluntarily relieve the suffering of their miserable brothers and sisters. The "haves" lived away from the "have-nots" in order to ignore them and leave their care to others. In 1949 a young polish priest wrote the play ''Brother of Our God'' about the life of Brother Albert. Years later, that same polish priest, now known as Pope John Paul II canonized him.

Brother Albert discovered the beauty of the Incarnation, explored it, rejoiced in it and shared it through his art, but found the final expression of his Love for the Incarnated Word in the service of other. No longer did he find Christ in pigments and canvas, for he discovered the breathing Christ in the poor.

2007-04-11T14:36:00.000-07:00

Some of the basics of the teachings of St. Francis of Sales. For your enjoyment and edification.

Universal Call to Holiness. Father Francis wrote Introduction to the Devout Life mainly for lay people. He believed (and rightly so) that holiness is the vocation of every single Christian.
Father De Sales favorite description of Christ is ''meek and humble of heart.'' He used to say we are called to be meek to our brothers and to ourselves and humble before our God.
Humility. Father De Sales called his children to recognize their sinfulness in light of the Mercy of God.
Father Francis has been called ''The Gentleman Saint" for his great gentleness. We are called to gentleness towards others. He called us to practice "the little virtues", namely patience, kindness, joy, the virtues that make life in community a path to holiness.
He repeatedly calls us to gentleness to self. ‘’Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself.” He scorned anxiety, scruples and fear. He considered them the greatest obstacle for a soul wanting to reach holiness.
Father calls us to live perfectly our current state and to become Saints right there. “Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly.”
He calls us to Perseverance in our spiritual exercises and in the practice of virtue. “The soul that transplants its heart from plan to plan cannot profit or gain proper growth in perfection, since perfection does not consist in beginnings but in accomplishments”
Father highlighted the necessity of living in the Now. He stressed that we should become Saints right now right here, never in despair of the past or in fear of the future. "The same Eternal Father who cares for you today will take good care of you tomorrow and every day of your life. Be at peace then and put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations."

Introduction!!

2007-04-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

Who knows how long this blog will last?

I am hoping this will become a tool of accountability for myself, a tool to meet people in love with the Salesian spirit and maybe, by the Grace of Our Good God, a tool for people to learn about the Salesian spirituality and find His Sacred Heart through it.

Also there will be a lot of random posts... I am quite sure of that :D

So just an intro. One day in Eternity God told Saint Francis of Sales, ''ey, there's this girl down there who needs a good spiritual director, cuz' seriously! what messes she gets into! would you be up for the job?" My guardian angel (the poor good ol' boy) proceeded on recommending me to St. Francis but after realizing that there really was not much he could recommend me about just told Father Francis, ''well, she could really use your help.'' And my good Father Francis looked down from Heaven, and the Eternal Father infused some of His Fatherly love into Father Francis's saintly heart and Father Francis loved me and decided right there and then that he would take me under his protection.

At least that's how I picture it.

What happened is that suddenly Saint Francis of Sales started popping up everywhere. Little prayer cards with quotes from his writings would randomly reach me. Every time I read a religious book his name would pop up a thousand times. One day, without me even suspecting it, he turned out to be the patron saint of my college major. Then somehow surfing the web I ended up reading his biography and some time latter I happened to find a book of his letters... I read them. And never had I received so much consolation.

Later on I developed a devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus...just to find out that Father Francis had one too! and that the main apostle of the Sacred Heart, Saint Margaret Mary, was a salesian Visitation nun!

After then he started becoming more and more evident in my life. I realize God had given him to me as a Father, and me to him as his daughter.

Ever since then whenever I have a question or whether I am in need of guidance, comfort, or scolding, Father Francis does it through his letters, prayers and companionship.
My spiritual path tends to be quite rocky due to my stupidity. Lots of ups and downs. But our Good Eternal Father always sends Father Francis with some words to bring me back on track.

So I guess this is enough writing for the first post...
Now, if you could please join me in prayer:

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit....

Prayer to St. Francis de Sales

O blessed Francis de Sales, who on earth
did excel in a life of virtue, especially in the
love of God and neighbor, I earnestly ask you
to take me under your compassionate care and
protection. Obtain for me conversion of mind
and heart. Grant that all people, especially
(names of those whom you wish to include)
may experience the depth of God’s redeeming
and healing love.

Teach me to fix my eyes on the things of
heaven even as I walk each day with my feet
planted firmly on the earth. Help me, through
the practice of virtue and the pursuit of devotion,
to avoid anything that would otherwise
cause me to stumble in my attempt to follow
Christ and to be an instrument of the Holy
Spirit.

Encouraged by your prayers and example,
help me to live fully my sacred dignity with
the hope experiencing my sacred destiny: eternal
life with God. Receive also this particular
need or concern that I now lift up in prayer
(mention your particular need).

O God, for the salvation of all, you desired
that St. Francis de Sales—preacher, missionary,
confessor, bishop and founder—
should befriend many along the road to salvation.
Mercifully grant that we, infused with
the humility and gentleness of his charity,
guided by his wisdom and sharing in his spirit
may experience eternal life. We ask this
through Christ our Lord. Amen.

* * * * *
NIHIL OBSTAT—J.D. Sweeney, V.G.
IMPRIMATUR—Edmond J. Fitzmaurice, D.D.
Bishop of Wilmington
October 11, 1949
* * * * *