Now I realize why I keep wanting to be a writer despite my inability to write... Saint Francis of Sales is the patron saint of writers! ha! how funny...yeah...sure...
so, a new blog for all the Catholic "Parables" I've been writing through time: Catholic Parables
I had to clean up my intention, you know, it shouldn't be about '' read my stories!" but for the Glory of God. I realized Christ used parables all the time, story telling has a great power to bring our hearts to Christ. That is why at the end of each Parable there will be an ''explanation of the Parable" coming from writings of the Saints or from the Magisterium that inspired the story. Not all will be from my authorship. I might put some stuff from the Saints. Well see!
so visit, read, comment, enjoy and invite others!
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Monday, May 7, 2007
saints, sleep and Love.
So... it's dawned on me. At the beginning of my prayer life I had ''night time prayer" It was pretty much just being with Him. We would just talk, or I would read a book and talk to Him, or praise Him with music or art. As my life changed and I needed more structure I was called to the Rosary, and then to the Liturgy of the Hours... but I've always had that "unstructured" just being with Him. Until some months ago. I don't even know when. I graduated from college, and started working. Somehow I became busy with 8 hours of work, giving time to family and friends, a ministry I help out with and structured prayer... but I stopped having the ''just Him and me" time... The structured prayer kept me praying and has fed me so , so I'm not going to say that it has been bad, but definitely it has been really painful, and more difficult. I kept stumbling losing focus of Him... but it was not until today that the relation between lack of my ''just Him and me" time and my difficulties has dawned on me.
See, He had called me (through St. Francis of Sales) to wake up earlier every morning for prayer. First he presented it to me as mortification. And mortification it became! gosh! the first days were wonderful, the stillness, Him. But little by little I stopped going to bed early, so it became harder and harder to wake up in the morning... now I still put on the alarm... but just to shut it off whenever it rings and go back to sleep.
I lost focus again. Its not about mortification. Not about what I am doing for Him... in every single thing that I think I am doing for Him, I should look and realize what He is doing for me. Its not about just plain obedience. Its about LOVE.
So, surfing the web today I found the writings of Hermano Rafael, a Blessed. He was a Spanish Trappist monk. Died in 1938 at the age of 27. Most of his writings are still only in Spanish (this is when I love being bilingual) I read one of his letters to his parents, one of them talks about how he struggles with sleep and how he fights it... and that's when it dawned on me. Through my good brother Rafael. I think I've found a new friend.
Please pray that I become faithful to Him who has loved me first. That I defeat sleep and encounter my beloved in the early hours of the morning. That He reveals himself to me and quiets down my soul. That we fall in love again.
Thanks.
See, He had called me (through St. Francis of Sales) to wake up earlier every morning for prayer. First he presented it to me as mortification. And mortification it became! gosh! the first days were wonderful, the stillness, Him. But little by little I stopped going to bed early, so it became harder and harder to wake up in the morning... now I still put on the alarm... but just to shut it off whenever it rings and go back to sleep.
I lost focus again. Its not about mortification. Not about what I am doing for Him... in every single thing that I think I am doing for Him, I should look and realize what He is doing for me. Its not about just plain obedience. Its about LOVE.
So, surfing the web today I found the writings of Hermano Rafael, a Blessed. He was a Spanish Trappist monk. Died in 1938 at the age of 27. Most of his writings are still only in Spanish (this is when I love being bilingual) I read one of his letters to his parents, one of them talks about how he struggles with sleep and how he fights it... and that's when it dawned on me. Through my good brother Rafael. I think I've found a new friend.
Please pray that I become faithful to Him who has loved me first. That I defeat sleep and encounter my beloved in the early hours of the morning. That He reveals himself to me and quiets down my soul. That we fall in love again.
Thanks.
missionaries
Ha! well, first I apologize for the bad fiction of the last days. I am not much of a fiction writer but for some reason I keep trying. They always end up being horribly sweet. Maybe that explains the slow down in visits. Tear* I promise not to do it again...maybe..
So for an insight into my little world, we are mission territory (nah, its not a cool exotic mission territory, we just happen to be that cuz there are very few catholics) which means most of our priests are foreigners and missionaries. We got African, Indian, Filipino, Korean, Mexican and Irish missionary priests to feed us the Eucharist. Talk about cultural diversity. Anyway, the Irish Pallotines were the first priests that arrived in our little part of the world...and in two weeks the last of them is leaving. He's been here for most of his life as a priest and now he is going back to Ireland... so for most of us for whom Europe is some far-away land that we've heard of some times this is the final good bye. Yesterday, after mass he said ''my superior has asked me to go back, and well...(he choked up and looked down for a moment but composed himself and said) I've always said yes, and I said yes again." There were lots of tears in our little chapel. I mean, this man has been our Father. And now he is leaving.
What amazed me is that he is a very elderly man and at a time when most people are slowing down he is once again called to leave everything behind and re-start a life that he left decades ago. They are calling him back to his home country but definitely not for retirement. They are going to put him to work. Plus everyone in his close family has probably passed away. There is no rest for our priests. No retirement. They are priests forever!
At the end of Mass my dad was too choked up. He just took our priest's hand and kissed it and said "see you next Sunday." Father just smiled and sighed. I told Father that I would go to Ireland and visit him. He chuckled. yeah sure... Man... If I marry I wanted him to be the one presiding the wedding... I guess not.
Our priest here have it so hard. They end up in random parishes in the middle of nowhere, they have to deal with cultural shock. Imagine a mostly Hispanic parish with an Indian priest who used to be a monk! Yet they are all wonderfully orthodox, loving and kind.
Today, say a prayer for all the missionaries that leave their countries, family, language, culture and traditions and love their little flock in barren lands.
And say a special prayer for Father Mike of the Irish Pallotines.
So for an insight into my little world, we are mission territory (nah, its not a cool exotic mission territory, we just happen to be that cuz there are very few catholics) which means most of our priests are foreigners and missionaries. We got African, Indian, Filipino, Korean, Mexican and Irish missionary priests to feed us the Eucharist. Talk about cultural diversity. Anyway, the Irish Pallotines were the first priests that arrived in our little part of the world...and in two weeks the last of them is leaving. He's been here for most of his life as a priest and now he is going back to Ireland... so for most of us for whom Europe is some far-away land that we've heard of some times this is the final good bye. Yesterday, after mass he said ''my superior has asked me to go back, and well...(he choked up and looked down for a moment but composed himself and said) I've always said yes, and I said yes again." There were lots of tears in our little chapel. I mean, this man has been our Father. And now he is leaving.
What amazed me is that he is a very elderly man and at a time when most people are slowing down he is once again called to leave everything behind and re-start a life that he left decades ago. They are calling him back to his home country but definitely not for retirement. They are going to put him to work. Plus everyone in his close family has probably passed away. There is no rest for our priests. No retirement. They are priests forever!
At the end of Mass my dad was too choked up. He just took our priest's hand and kissed it and said "see you next Sunday." Father just smiled and sighed. I told Father that I would go to Ireland and visit him. He chuckled. yeah sure... Man... If I marry I wanted him to be the one presiding the wedding... I guess not.
Our priest here have it so hard. They end up in random parishes in the middle of nowhere, they have to deal with cultural shock. Imagine a mostly Hispanic parish with an Indian priest who used to be a monk! Yet they are all wonderfully orthodox, loving and kind.
Today, say a prayer for all the missionaries that leave their countries, family, language, culture and traditions and love their little flock in barren lands.
And say a special prayer for Father Mike of the Irish Pallotines.
Friday, May 4, 2007
The Nativity
“In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. And everyone went to his own town to register. So Joseph … went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.”
Lk. 1:1-5
Mary went through the small stone room in her parents home, taking some clothes for the journey, putting all of them in a bundle. Packing for the trip. Her back was aching and she felt her son moving. She paused for a moment and looked around the room. A dim morning light poured in through the small window. She remembered. The angel had appeared in this room. The memories of the visit were clear even though it had been eight months ago. She breathed in, trying to go back to that moment. The light. The Presence. But for a moment her mind wandered into the memories of what happened after the angel had gone. The recriminations. The tears. The fear. But she dispelled those memories like a bad dream. It was over. The angel had spoken to Joseph. He had knelt and in tears had asked for forgiveness as her astounded parents looked. Her heart had poured in thanksgiving. After that her parents kept quiet. They never discussed the events. It was as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Mary was married to Joseph. Mary was going to have a baby. Nothing else.
Anna came into the room and without saying a word she started helping her around. Nothing new. They’ve never been many words between them. Mary was done with her packing. Her father came in and in silence took the bundle. Joseph was already outside waiting and they started walking out but suddenly Joachim stopped and turned around. Mary stood there as a pillar. It had been a long time since his father had looked her into the eyes. ‘Mary…’’ he started but his voice cracked. Anna lowered her eyes and stood there. Joachim composed himself. ‘Mary…if we don’t see you again…’’ Mary smiled ‘Oh papa, don’t say such things. The trip is long, I know, but we will be back before the year is over. We are just going for the census. We’ll be back soon.’’ But Joachim shook his head sadly. ‘Mary, if we don’t see you again…well… I just wanted to tell you …that we believe you…’’ Joachim paused and looked at Mary and his whole being trembled. ‘that we do believe you are the Mother of the Messiah.’’ Joachim’s being shook and he felt himself an old man. He looked at his fifteen year old daughter. And she looked tall and strong like an Ivory Column. His knees felt weak, was he supposed to kneel? But before he could decide his daughter was embracing him. ‘Oh papa, I love you’ Joachim sobbed softly. “that’s how I knew it was true Mary, no angel appeared to me. I just saw how you forgave everything and loved us … anyone can lie, but no one who lies can love so perfectly.’’ Mary let go of her father and saw her mother sobbing quietly. Mary approached her and embraced her too. ‘Oh child…’ Anna wept. Mary was surprised at how frail she seemed. Marys heart broke in kindness and love and the thought of never seeing them again scared her. But there was no reason to fear. She knew Joseph would bring her back safely. They would just go for the census, maybe the baby would have to be born in Bethlehem, but they would be back for sure at the end of the year.
Copyright© 2007 ViveJesus! May not be copied in any form (including blogs)without permission
Lk. 1:1-5
Mary went through the small stone room in her parents home, taking some clothes for the journey, putting all of them in a bundle. Packing for the trip. Her back was aching and she felt her son moving. She paused for a moment and looked around the room. A dim morning light poured in through the small window. She remembered. The angel had appeared in this room. The memories of the visit were clear even though it had been eight months ago. She breathed in, trying to go back to that moment. The light. The Presence. But for a moment her mind wandered into the memories of what happened after the angel had gone. The recriminations. The tears. The fear. But she dispelled those memories like a bad dream. It was over. The angel had spoken to Joseph. He had knelt and in tears had asked for forgiveness as her astounded parents looked. Her heart had poured in thanksgiving. After that her parents kept quiet. They never discussed the events. It was as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Mary was married to Joseph. Mary was going to have a baby. Nothing else.
Anna came into the room and without saying a word she started helping her around. Nothing new. They’ve never been many words between them. Mary was done with her packing. Her father came in and in silence took the bundle. Joseph was already outside waiting and they started walking out but suddenly Joachim stopped and turned around. Mary stood there as a pillar. It had been a long time since his father had looked her into the eyes. ‘Mary…’’ he started but his voice cracked. Anna lowered her eyes and stood there. Joachim composed himself. ‘Mary…if we don’t see you again…’’ Mary smiled ‘Oh papa, don’t say such things. The trip is long, I know, but we will be back before the year is over. We are just going for the census. We’ll be back soon.’’ But Joachim shook his head sadly. ‘Mary, if we don’t see you again…well… I just wanted to tell you …that we believe you…’’ Joachim paused and looked at Mary and his whole being trembled. ‘that we do believe you are the Mother of the Messiah.’’ Joachim’s being shook and he felt himself an old man. He looked at his fifteen year old daughter. And she looked tall and strong like an Ivory Column. His knees felt weak, was he supposed to kneel? But before he could decide his daughter was embracing him. ‘Oh papa, I love you’ Joachim sobbed softly. “that’s how I knew it was true Mary, no angel appeared to me. I just saw how you forgave everything and loved us … anyone can lie, but no one who lies can love so perfectly.’’ Mary let go of her father and saw her mother sobbing quietly. Mary approached her and embraced her too. ‘Oh child…’ Anna wept. Mary was surprised at how frail she seemed. Marys heart broke in kindness and love and the thought of never seeing them again scared her. But there was no reason to fear. She knew Joseph would bring her back safely. They would just go for the census, maybe the baby would have to be born in Bethlehem, but they would be back for sure at the end of the year.
Copyright© 2007 ViveJesus! May not be copied in any form (including blogs)without permission
Icon
My heart shrinks into a knot.
I am leaving the convent.
I sit alone in the office of Mother Superior. She just walked out to attend a visitor. We had been going over the small procedures that have to be taken care of before I leave. The process is simple. After all, I am just a postulant. Postulants leaving are the most common thing in a convent.
The last rays of sunlight fall on the scattered pieces of paper over the desk. The convent, the sisters, my plans, they all walked out of my life when Mother Superior did, and I remain by myself, in the simple office, with the Icon.
It rests on the wall behind Mother’s desk and I look sadly upon it. It is a reproduction of the Icon painted by Andrei Rublev. It recounts the hospitality of Abraham toward three strangers who turned out to be angels. The angels sit around a table, facing me. It is called the Old Testament Trinity because the three angels symbolize the three persons of the Trinity.
It is my God.
A golden image of my God.
I sigh. Since childhood the convent had been my dream. The habit, my goal. Just as my little friends dreamt of a prince charming I dreamt of my final profession. Where did I got that dream from? I thought that it was from God…I guess not.
The monotony is what got me. The schedule, the bells had slowly choked me. A horizon where I could exactly predict what I would be doing at 3 p.m. for the rest of my life terrified me. I blamed the convent, religious life, the whole concept of it, but then I noticed the other postulants. They were beaming. They talked about the freedom they experienced. It was not only talk, I saw them increase in charity and patience day by day. It was real. Their freedom was real. But not for me.
I was sincere. But sincerity is not enough. There had to be a call and surprisingly to me, I did not have it.
Mother Superior had consoled me and encouraged me, but at the end she had agreed. It is time to leave.
It had been my goal. My dream. The place I belonged at. But I was wrong all the time…
What now?
I know it will be ok. I know there is a place, somewhere for me. But… I was so sure of where my home was, yet now I’m left alone. The family I was sure I belonged to turned out to be for someone else.
I breathe in, but there doesn’t seem to be enough air in the room.
The three angels look at me from their sea of gold. One of the angels is pointing at the table. The food is served. “Where?” my soul whispers. And suddenly grace arrives, like a wave touching the shore.
There is a free spot around His table.
A free spot…a place.
“With Me” He answers.
And I smile.
Copyright© 2007 ViveJesus! May not be copied in any form (including blogs)without permission
I am leaving the convent.
I sit alone in the office of Mother Superior. She just walked out to attend a visitor. We had been going over the small procedures that have to be taken care of before I leave. The process is simple. After all, I am just a postulant. Postulants leaving are the most common thing in a convent.
The last rays of sunlight fall on the scattered pieces of paper over the desk. The convent, the sisters, my plans, they all walked out of my life when Mother Superior did, and I remain by myself, in the simple office, with the Icon.
It rests on the wall behind Mother’s desk and I look sadly upon it. It is a reproduction of the Icon painted by Andrei Rublev. It recounts the hospitality of Abraham toward three strangers who turned out to be angels. The angels sit around a table, facing me. It is called the Old Testament Trinity because the three angels symbolize the three persons of the Trinity.
It is my God.
A golden image of my God.
I sigh. Since childhood the convent had been my dream. The habit, my goal. Just as my little friends dreamt of a prince charming I dreamt of my final profession. Where did I got that dream from? I thought that it was from God…I guess not.The monotony is what got me. The schedule, the bells had slowly choked me. A horizon where I could exactly predict what I would be doing at 3 p.m. for the rest of my life terrified me. I blamed the convent, religious life, the whole concept of it, but then I noticed the other postulants. They were beaming. They talked about the freedom they experienced. It was not only talk, I saw them increase in charity and patience day by day. It was real. Their freedom was real. But not for me.
I was sincere. But sincerity is not enough. There had to be a call and surprisingly to me, I did not have it.
Mother Superior had consoled me and encouraged me, but at the end she had agreed. It is time to leave.
It had been my goal. My dream. The place I belonged at. But I was wrong all the time…
What now?
I know it will be ok. I know there is a place, somewhere for me. But… I was so sure of where my home was, yet now I’m left alone. The family I was sure I belonged to turned out to be for someone else.
I breathe in, but there doesn’t seem to be enough air in the room.
The three angels look at me from their sea of gold. One of the angels is pointing at the table. The food is served. “Where?” my soul whispers. And suddenly grace arrives, like a wave touching the shore.
There is a free spot around His table.
A free spot…a place.
“With Me” He answers.
And I smile.
Copyright© 2007 ViveJesus! May not be copied in any form (including blogs)without permission
relics and stuff
Loving Kindness. Our God is so good. Sometimes I grow scared because of the amount of evil in this messed up world. Sometimes the enemies of my soul attack furiously. And I grow scared. But how wonderful, how great, how glorious it is to have Our Good God. Our Good Shepherd, who takes us in his arms. Who never leaves when the wolves are close by. Who will defend us with His very life. I am safe. We are safe. We are in the arms of Christ, all we have to do is rest our heads against his chest, ignore the raging of the enemies and concentrate on the beating of His Heart.
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On another note, a reader commented he/she has a relic of St. Francis of Sales...man!! does anyone know what is the process to get a relic? I mean, I know a first degree is kindoff impossible, but how could I get a second or third degree? thanks! Oh! and I read somewhere that in a Visitation Convent in Italy they have his incorruptible heart! That is just amazing!
By the way, I should get back into reading his letters.. I've been kindoff neglecting him cuz' I've been having a hard time spiritually. Which is a stupid thing to do, I have to say...
Anywho, I read in a book of his letters "While feeling a holy envy for those souls to whom these letters were written..." and it got me thinking. Yeah, it would have been great to be alive back then and to be able to meet him personally, but when we think about it, they didn't have 24/7 access to him, I mean, he was an incredibly busy Bishop...but we do!
Also, before he went to Heaven, he was still very much limited by time and space, meaning that even those closest to him (Jane de Chantal) suffered separation from their beloved director... but we don't! It is true that I don't get to go to Confession with him, but most of the time neither did the people who knew him personally. So actually, I think we have it better. 24/7 access! God is so good.who hoo!
-----------
On another note, a reader commented he/she has a relic of St. Francis of Sales...man!! does anyone know what is the process to get a relic? I mean, I know a first degree is kindoff impossible, but how could I get a second or third degree? thanks! Oh! and I read somewhere that in a Visitation Convent in Italy they have his incorruptible heart! That is just amazing!
By the way, I should get back into reading his letters.. I've been kindoff neglecting him cuz' I've been having a hard time spiritually. Which is a stupid thing to do, I have to say...
Anywho, I read in a book of his letters "While feeling a holy envy for those souls to whom these letters were written..." and it got me thinking. Yeah, it would have been great to be alive back then and to be able to meet him personally, but when we think about it, they didn't have 24/7 access to him, I mean, he was an incredibly busy Bishop...but we do!
Also, before he went to Heaven, he was still very much limited by time and space, meaning that even those closest to him (Jane de Chantal) suffered separation from their beloved director... but we don't! It is true that I don't get to go to Confession with him, but most of the time neither did the people who knew him personally. So actually, I think we have it better. 24/7 access! God is so good.who hoo!
Thursday, May 3, 2007
hair, turtles, worship and service
Cut my hair yesterday, from extremelly long it went to barely under my jaw... WOW! BIG CHANGE! I have to get used to it, I keep looking at myself in the mirror and wondering who that is! ha ha! Anyways, I'm sending the ponytail to Locks of Love, you donate your hair and they make wigs for kids with cancer. Pretty cool if you ask me, I know several people with cancer and plus, its just hair! hair grows back! If you are thinking about cutting your long hair anytime soon, I really recommend doing the Locks of Love thing. Cutting my hair is always a big change, it really shows me how vain I can be! I like it but I keep comparing my hair to my friends! man! that is so high school! I am supposed to be beyond that! Oh well, I wonder what Father DeSales would say, he would probably tell me I analyze things too much and that yes, indeed, I am very vain.
Anywho. Now its time for a little rant.
And obtain for me, Oh Mary, love of God and love of neighbor.
These last days I’ve been having some minor revelations which all put together have made me understand so much! They come from His two fold commandment of “love God and love your neighbor.” Somewhere amongst the many things I read, I read that worship and service are the ways in which we love God. I had never though deeply about worship and service and how this two fulfill the Commandment. Its pretty amazing stuff!
WORSHIP
You know how it is if you go to daily mass for a while. At some point you kind off stop paying attention, your mind wanders, you start thinking about jackrabbits and turtles and all kinds of random stuff. Mass becomes this time to “unwind.” If you are lucky the bells of the consecration startle you and you make a minor effort to pay attention again…wait.. no? you never get distracted? Well, then its probably just little pagan me. Anyway, it happens to me often and sadly I have to say I hadn’t put much effort into fixing the situation. I just hadn’t realized the importance of it. But lately I have been reading all this blogs that talked about the importance of the Liturgy and I also read about their frustration with liturgical abuses. But I kept thinking "c'mon, the love in our hearts is what matters, what’s the big deal?”
Well…now I get what’s the big deal! Thanks to the random discovery of an old Baltimore Catechism I’ve learned that the Mass is our main act of worship to our God, it’s the moment when we are truly before Him offering him the Eternal Sacrifice! Yeah, I know that you all knew this, but people! This is news to me! I’ve probably heard it somewhere before but for the first time in my life these last days I’ve listened!
The love in my heart is expressed through my preparation, attentiveness and thanksgiving in Mass. I might have love in my heart for my boyfriend, but if I don’t pay attention to what he says, or make a minimum effort to prepare for a date or thank him for his kindness then…well… I doubt the truthfulness of that love!
Also, all other forms of worship derive from the Mass. For example Adoration, the Liturgy of the Hours, personal prayer, our daily work and sacrifices, aspirations through out the day… our punctual, diligent, beauty-filled, celebration of this acts of worship point to the reality of our Love for Him who loved us first!
SERVICE
But His commandment is not only ''Love your God", it also says ''Love your neighbor," since how can we love God who we can't see if we don't love our neighbor that we see?
I knew this, obviously, but just lately I’ve started to understand what it means.
The first epiphany was about what LOVING means. For a long time I used to think that loving my neighbor was not gossiping, not lying, not being impatient or angry.... but now I realize one thing...that is just not offending my neighbor! I am called to love them, not only to not offend them! I am called to go out of my way to be kind, gentle and truly of service! I am not only called to not get angry, I am called to be patient and loving. I’m not only called to not ignore people, I am called to befriend the friendless, to give that person no one invites to things a call. To do everything with a smile. When anyone leaves my presence he or she should feel cared for! not only not offended! We are held to a higher standard. If right now we are just “not offending’’ our neighbor, then we should be doing more. Going the “extra-mile” should be an every-encounter routine.
My second little epiphany had to do with PROXIMITY. When I was younger I wanted to go ''off somewhere'' and do ''God's work," you know, do the whole missionary thing. Going to another country, doing grand things, write big books, heal the sick, console the poor somewhere far off... but then reality sets in. My obligations to my family have ''limited me'' and I am now in a small city, and it seems I might be here for the long run. But then God slapped me and made me understand. Apart from the pride that was involved into wanting to do ''grand things for God but according to my will," I realized I am to love those closest, because if I don't how could I ever love strangers? If I don't love those that I can see, how could I ever truly love those off in Asia or Africa that I do not see?
If I don't love those closest to me it is almost a sure sign that my love for strangers is false and based on pride. Mother Teresa said: "It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start." she also said "Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home."
I think that if we want to Love we should begin with our family. These people are usually the ones that upset us the most, many times if we treated our friends like we treat our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers we would be friendless pretty soon. I know that many people don’t live near their families, but still, these are the people that God, in His plan, has designated to be in our hearts forever, for better of for worse. A friend might stop being one but your father will always be your father.
And when we do ministry (as all of us should) I say, look around the town you are at! There is a reason we are where we are right now. I became surprised at seeing the poverty that exists in my town, the homeless, the poor recent immigrants, the abandoned elderly... they are all right here, right now. I can go and give them a visit, but instead I send money to some far away organization and feel good about myself. I am not saying that you should stop supporting the ''save africa" or ''save china'' organizations... I am just saying that we should focus on those closest to us. These are the people the Lord has put in our path. These are the main people we are supposed to love and serve. Obviously there are those called to be missionaries, but I bet a missionary will never be effective if he didn't love those closest to him before he went off.
So in conclusion. Lets be prepared, attentive and thankful for Mass. Let all our acts of worship be truly fulfilling our call to Love God. And let us love our neighbor, the one closest to us, by not only not offending them, but by loving them to the point of sacrifice.
End of rant.
Anywho. Now its time for a little rant.
And obtain for me, Oh Mary, love of God and love of neighbor.
These last days I’ve been having some minor revelations which all put together have made me understand so much! They come from His two fold commandment of “love God and love your neighbor.” Somewhere amongst the many things I read, I read that worship and service are the ways in which we love God. I had never though deeply about worship and service and how this two fulfill the Commandment. Its pretty amazing stuff!
WORSHIPYou know how it is if you go to daily mass for a while. At some point you kind off stop paying attention, your mind wanders, you start thinking about jackrabbits and turtles and all kinds of random stuff. Mass becomes this time to “unwind.” If you are lucky the bells of the consecration startle you and you make a minor effort to pay attention again…wait.. no? you never get distracted? Well, then its probably just little pagan me. Anyway, it happens to me often and sadly I have to say I hadn’t put much effort into fixing the situation. I just hadn’t realized the importance of it. But lately I have been reading all this blogs that talked about the importance of the Liturgy and I also read about their frustration with liturgical abuses. But I kept thinking "c'mon, the love in our hearts is what matters, what’s the big deal?”
Well…now I get what’s the big deal! Thanks to the random discovery of an old Baltimore Catechism I’ve learned that the Mass is our main act of worship to our God, it’s the moment when we are truly before Him offering him the Eternal Sacrifice! Yeah, I know that you all knew this, but people! This is news to me! I’ve probably heard it somewhere before but for the first time in my life these last days I’ve listened!
The love in my heart is expressed through my preparation, attentiveness and thanksgiving in Mass. I might have love in my heart for my boyfriend, but if I don’t pay attention to what he says, or make a minimum effort to prepare for a date or thank him for his kindness then…well… I doubt the truthfulness of that love!
Also, all other forms of worship derive from the Mass. For example Adoration, the Liturgy of the Hours, personal prayer, our daily work and sacrifices, aspirations through out the day… our punctual, diligent, beauty-filled, celebration of this acts of worship point to the reality of our Love for Him who loved us first!
SERVICE
But His commandment is not only ''Love your God", it also says ''Love your neighbor," since how can we love God who we can't see if we don't love our neighbor that we see?
I knew this, obviously, but just lately I’ve started to understand what it means.
The first epiphany was about what LOVING means. For a long time I used to think that loving my neighbor was not gossiping, not lying, not being impatient or angry.... but now I realize one thing...that is just not offending my neighbor! I am called to love them, not only to not offend them! I am called to go out of my way to be kind, gentle and truly of service! I am not only called to not get angry, I am called to be patient and loving. I’m not only called to not ignore people, I am called to befriend the friendless, to give that person no one invites to things a call. To do everything with a smile. When anyone leaves my presence he or she should feel cared for! not only not offended! We are held to a higher standard. If right now we are just “not offending’’ our neighbor, then we should be doing more. Going the “extra-mile” should be an every-encounter routine.
My second little epiphany had to do with PROXIMITY. When I was younger I wanted to go ''off somewhere'' and do ''God's work," you know, do the whole missionary thing. Going to another country, doing grand things, write big books, heal the sick, console the poor somewhere far off... but then reality sets in. My obligations to my family have ''limited me'' and I am now in a small city, and it seems I might be here for the long run. But then God slapped me and made me understand. Apart from the pride that was involved into wanting to do ''grand things for God but according to my will," I realized I am to love those closest, because if I don't how could I ever love strangers? If I don't love those that I can see, how could I ever truly love those off in Asia or Africa that I do not see?
If I don't love those closest to me it is almost a sure sign that my love for strangers is false and based on pride. Mother Teresa said: "It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start." she also said "Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home."
I think that if we want to Love we should begin with our family. These people are usually the ones that upset us the most, many times if we treated our friends like we treat our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers we would be friendless pretty soon. I know that many people don’t live near their families, but still, these are the people that God, in His plan, has designated to be in our hearts forever, for better of for worse. A friend might stop being one but your father will always be your father.
And when we do ministry (as all of us should) I say, look around the town you are at! There is a reason we are where we are right now. I became surprised at seeing the poverty that exists in my town, the homeless, the poor recent immigrants, the abandoned elderly... they are all right here, right now. I can go and give them a visit, but instead I send money to some far away organization and feel good about myself. I am not saying that you should stop supporting the ''save africa" or ''save china'' organizations... I am just saying that we should focus on those closest to us. These are the people the Lord has put in our path. These are the main people we are supposed to love and serve. Obviously there are those called to be missionaries, but I bet a missionary will never be effective if he didn't love those closest to him before he went off.So in conclusion. Lets be prepared, attentive and thankful for Mass. Let all our acts of worship be truly fulfilling our call to Love God. And let us love our neighbor, the one closest to us, by not only not offending them, but by loving them to the point of sacrifice.
End of rant.
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