Friday, September 28, 2007

see u around :)

Well... got a new job, a good great God-blessing job... but because of my new responsabilities I don't really have that much time to bum around the internet, so you might see me less... but I'll still be around from time to time. God bless!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Good News all around :)

More than a year ago my family and I were in a foreign country being inmigrants once again. Circumstances took us there, to the other side of the world, alone and looking for employment.

there...a priest befriended us.

I approached him asking whether he knew about any Young Adult Ministries... he didn't...but he invited us over for dinner.

A series of dinners, and late-into-the-night chats came into being. Joy and fraternity and care. Him shouting and hitting the table expounding his big BIG opinions about politics/religion/spirituality... us looking, and commenting against or in support of, food, great food and him being a father to us.

our attempt to immigrate to that country came to nothing. We had to leave. As a father, he took us to the airport and said a quick goodbye. For a while I thought it was cold... now I think he probably was fighting back tears.

We exchanged a couple of letters...

but distance was too much.

and we didn't hear from each other in a long while...


A beutiful e-mail. (praise God for the Internet!)
short, sweet and full of him, the priest who was a father to us, loud yet deeply deeply spiritual.

I'm so happy today, with memories of that summer that marked my life forever.
In the most beutiful city I've ever been at, besides the most beutiful souls I've ever met!

And as I laugh and laugh and dance and thank, and God laughs and laughs, with a deep, shoulder shaking, belly laugh!! Thank God for fathers and mothers and brothers and sisters and friends and random people that we stumble up in our path!!

Monday, September 17, 2007


Last night (at around 11p.m) I was at Adoration when an interesting character walked in...young, strong, dressed in immaculate black with his pure white collar. He kneeled in a perfect 90 degree angle in one of the kneelers and opened his breviary. The guy looked like a soldier, his face was stoic and his movements planned and carefully measured. The guy oozed discipline!


he proceded to nod off.

poor guy! he was seriously passing out. He would look at his breviary, briefly close his eyes and pass out. Then he would jerk back his head, blink twice and open his eyes wide trying to wake himself up. (I know I should have been watching Jesus and not this guy but I just couldn't help it!)

I've seen him before, I don't know him but I've heard about him. He is the son of a family here in town. He went off to join some order (jesuits? legionaries? Opus Dei? one of those) and comes to visit like once a year. I don't think he is ordained but he wears clericals.
Everytime I've seen him he looks extremelly disciplined, walking like some gentleman/warrior of old, he ain't more than 30 years old...
but this time, I saw him nod off and pass out in adoration.
and it touched my heart deeply.
Just to know that it doesn't matter how disciplined, how "strong", how brave, how holy... at the end we are all weak children of our Lord.... that no matter how much effort, we will pass out and fall asleep... but that He won't. He will stay there, lovingly looking upon us.
Singing lullabies to us.
Being faithful and staying awake.

Friday, September 14, 2007

lukewarm lovers...

Yesterday I was thinking.... there is nothing worse than a lukewarm lover!

Maybe you've been in a relationship where you were the most emotionally involved of the two... you know how it goes. You think and think about this person and long to see them and when you finally see them they have a "oh-you-are-here" reaction... And you realize they weren't as thrilled to see you as you were to see them... by far...yeah. A real disappointment. Unrequited love. They might love you/like you, after all, you are in a relationship together, but your heart is broken anyway for the fire in your heart is not mutual. Love desires two things, self-gift and union...and if the union is not, it hurts.

and I thought of The Beloved.... with what ardor He loves us! He loves my soul passionatelly, in fact He thirsts for me, longs for my love. "I was eager to eat this passover with you"(lk 22:15) He is eager.

But when He approaches me, in prayer, through my bethren... am I also eager? or am I lukewarm lover? when I receive him in the Eucharist do I have a "oh-you-are-here" reaction? when He comes to me through one of my bethren that need charity...does His heart break when He meets my coldness, my indiference?

I would never have the following conversations with a boyfriend:
bfriend: (holding my hands, very lovingly) I want to spend time with you
me: uhh..well ... I don't really have time... (taking my hands away from his and checking my planner) what if we see each other at the end of the day (when I am absolutely exhausted) for about 15 min?
bfriend: I love you (holding my hands, stars over us)
me: oh, thanks. that's cool... btw, are you gonna eat that?

yet, many times conversations like these ones go on between my Soul and Him Who Loves Me.

forgive me, Beloved, for being a lukewarm lover!!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Yesterday afternoon I was taking a walk on Campus... The tall trees poured their leaves like a waterfall, and the sun was gentle, the sky was big. A beutiful clear afternoon... I dialed in my cellphone the phone of my granparents (who live in another country) and my granma picked up.

When I heard her voice suddenly all the beuty of the trees, the sky and the evening disappeared. She was having a dementia episode... everything became grey.

Her voice over the phone made want to break into tears. She recognized me, but she couldn't remember where I was ( I moved away 7 years ago yet she kept being surprised about me not being in our hometown).... she sounded scared, nervous, confused, yet, being the proper lady she is she tried to mask it saying "oh! we are all fine!" I talked to her a little, but she was too nervous to hold a conversation. She kept asking over and over where I was and when I would tell her she would say worriedly "oh! you are so far!" It broke my heart. My throat became a knot.

we said our goodbyes and she hanged up hurriedly.

I stood there in the afternoon. wanting to weep. and lifting my soul "Lord!"

I kept walking. The trees and the grass and the sky were so inviting and seemed memories of an inocent carefree time. And suddenly, I felt Therese present.

Hallo! it was like she had said and started walking besides me.
We didn't say anything... but somehow her prescence made me remeber her dad.

Therese of Liseux's dad died of dementia.

He was a a sweet and strong father and a holy man that raised 4 carmelites, one of them an extraordinary saint....

I sighed and pictured him, young again, strong, manly and holy walking besides me and his daughter Therese... and I asked him to take care of my own poor granma...

Even though I can't see them... I bet he looked kindly upon me and nodded.

Today a friend told me he was praying form my granma, out of the blue....

Thank God for the Saints.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

the Kingdom

The kingdom of God does not mean eating or drinking this or that, it means righteousness and peace and joy brought by the Holy Spirit. Rm 14:17-18

Some days ago the priest in my parish said that the Kingdom is here and now. That Christ said "the Kingdom of God is among you" and that we should be trying to enter and be in the kingdom right now right here, and stop thinking about it being something that "happens" after death. (of course it is, but you get what I'm saying)

and then the Beloved shows me this verse....

Righteousness. Following the commandments of God and the precepts of the Church. Fulfilling our vocation, and not only that! It means having a "right" heart. A pure heart, a selfless heart, a virtuous heart.... This is our part of the deal. It is working, fighting, bleeding for a right heart. It is having spiritual discipline. It is prayer, mortification and the practice of penance and virtue.

Peace. This is a fruit of Trust. The true Peace comes from Trusting that God is a loving God that cares for us. That whatever happens He is God and since He is Good and Loves will be ok. This part of the kingdom requires us to have Trust in Him...and His part is the fruit of that Trust... Peace.

Joy. This is a fruit of Love. It is a response of knowing ourselves Loved... supremelly Loved by Him, the most beautiful of the sons of men (psalm 45), the Beauty ever ancient-ever new. It comes from a dialogue with the Beloved, it comes from sitting under the stars resting in His chest, listening to His heart beat, while His warm pierced hand rests in ours, as He kisses our forehead.... it is Joy, it is the Joy of being loved by Love himself! But in our world, specially in our culture and time when despair, desperation, loneliness, suicide, tears are so common, and for those of us for whom despair is a temptation, as enticing as any drug, we are called to make a choice for Joy. To make the choice to listen to His whispers, to accept His love, so we can have Joy.

Prayer, Mortification, the Practice of virtue (purity, patience, selflessnes, LOVE), Trust in Him that brings Peace, and allowing ourselves to be loved that brings Joy...

summed up: Living a life of Love with Him and with them (our brothers and sisters)... THAT IS THE KINGDOM! HERE AND NOW!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

"Only if we look to Christ, if we love him, will we overcome laziness and love of comfort, will we emerge from the ivory tower that each of us tends to build for himself, will we make many blind people see Christ, many deaf people hear him, and many cripples walk beside him. God needs our cooperation." In Conversation with God. Francis Fernandez.

Artwork by Macha Chmakoff

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

He taught them as one who had authority
Mark 1:22
"Jesus doesn't expound just a mere opinion, nor does He show any sign of uncertaint or of doubt. He does not speak like the prophets, in God's name, because He is not just another prophet: he speaks in his own name: I say to you..." In Conversation with God. Francis Fernandez.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Entice Me

The red beads of the rosary
Between my fingers

The pang of hunger
In my insides

Prayer and mortification
The wings of perseverance

Yet it all becomes sand dust
It all becomes a clanging cymbal
if I do not walk into the night
to meet You.

Place Your warm hand
Over mine

Kiss my forehead
Entice me.

painting by Myra Mandel

Thursday, August 30, 2007


Your Heart
My Soul

Your hand of rubies,
Enclosing my hand of flesh

Your radiance dancing
to the song of the Trinity

I cannot hear it, Beloved,
but I’ll let you lead me.

I’ll dance in silence
Resting my head upon Your chest
Dancing to the melody
Of your heartbeat…

Painting by Myra Mandel

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Come be my Light

Come, be my light.
Come, be my strength.

The waves of this black ocean
rise above me.
Come calm the storm
within me.

drawing by Edouard Leon Louis

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Closing speeches and adresses of Vatican II Council.

TO WOMEN (read by Leon Cardinal Duval of Algiers, Algeria, assisted by Julius Cardinal Doepfner of Munich, Germany, and Raul Cardinal Siloa of Santiago, Chile.)

And now it is to you that we address ourselves, women of all states—girls, wives, mothers and widows, to you also, consecrated virgins and women living alone—you constitute half of the immense human family.

As you know, the Church is proud to have glorified and liberated woman, and in the course of the centuries, in diversity of characters, to have brought into relief her basic equality with man. But the hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of woman is being achieved in its fullness, the hour in which woman acquires in the world an influence, an effect and a power never hitherto achieved. That is why, at this moment when the human race is under-going so deep a transformation, women impregnated with the spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid mankind in not falling.

You women have always had as your lot the protection of the home, the love of beginnings and an understanding of cradles. You are present in the mystery of a life beginning. You offer consolation in the departure of death. Our technology runs the risk of becoming inhuman. Reconcile men with life and above all, we beseech you, watch carefully over the future of our race. Hold back the hand of man who, in a moment of folly, might attempt to destroy human civilization.

Wives, mothers of families, the first educators of the human race in the intimacy of the family circle, pass on to your sons and your daughters the traditions of your fathers at the same time that you prepare them for an unsearchable future. Always remember that by her children a mother belongs to that future which perhaps she will not see.

And you, women living alone, realize what you can accomplish through your dedicated vocation. Society is appealing to you on all sides. Not even families can live without the help of those who have no families. Especially you, consecrated virgins, in a world where egoism and the search for pleasure would become law, be the guardians of purity, unselfishness and piety. Jesus who has given to conjugal love all its plenitudes, has also exalted the renouncement of human love when this is for the sake of divine love and for the service of all.

Lastly, women in trial, who stand upright at the foot of the cross like Mary, you who so often in history have given to men the strength to battle unto the very end and to give witness to the point of martyrdom, aid them now still once more to retain courage in their great undertakings, while at the same time maintaining patience and an esteem for humble beginnings.

Women, you do know how to make truth sweet, tender and accessible, make it your task to bring the spirit of this council into institutions, schools, homes and daily life. Women of the entire universe, whether Christian or non-believing, you to whom life is entrusted at this grave moment in history, it is for you to save the peace of the world.


Gosh! the Church's call to women is for us "to save the peace of the world"! Wow! I gotta take that to prayer, I love the comment about mainining "an esteem for humble beginnings"

Monday, August 27, 2007

Mother Teresa

Ok, so you've GOT to check out THIS LINK

It's about Mother Teresa's Dark Night of the Soul which seems to have been...ahem...long.
And by "long" I mean...LOOOONNNGG. Pretty much the rest of her life after she started working in Calcutta.

It seems that her work had a "spiritual side" no one knew about... her spiritual life was and echo of Jesus' piercing cry "My God, My God why have you abandoned me?"

Redemptive suffering...What she suffered is
I really can't describe it... I mean... I know it was horrible and heart-breaking and it almost broke her soul...but she was Victorious. She was faithful...and her Beloved embraced her at the end...and the darkness was lifted.

I'm so moved...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.
wow...I just answered questions about animals... and it is surprinsingly accurate! :O

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

a letter from a friend

It had been a while, but Father De Sales sent me a letter today... and like always, it was exactly what I needed to hear...

Do not look forward to the trials and crosses of this life with dread and fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to Whom you belong, will deliver you from them.He has guided and guarded you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear Hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials.

Whenever you cannot stand He will carry you lovingly in His arms.

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same Eternal Father Who cares for you today will take good care of you tomorrw and every day of your life. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you the unfailing stregth to bear it.

Be at peace then and puta side all useles thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations...

St. Francis De Sales
Father De Sales always knows the right thing to say...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

about being single...

I’ve realized there really is no “singleness” in the life of a Christian. I mean, if we define being single as not being married then yes, but if we define being single as not having a family to take care of, as having “our times for ourselves,” then I would say no, no and no!

Us, the single have a large, large family to take care of. Every single person around us, every single human being is my brother and sister, their aches, sorrows and needs are my business, and I have the responsibility, the duty of taking care of them. Of dying for them. We are called to die for others, specially those nearest to us.

If we are married those people are our husband and children, but if we are single it can be our parents, siblings, friends, strangers around us. I have seen in my spiritual life, that if I am not experiencing the same amount of self-sacrifice that any mother/wife of a family experiences is because I am not opening my eyes to the needs of others around me.

But this is all good and dandy… lets see if I actually put it to practice! Ha ha!

Because the single life has a great temptation attached to it: self centerness. The lie that since we have not given vows to no one we have no real “responsibility” or “duty” toward no one. A lie! But its Oh! So easy to fall into that trap, the temptation of being lukewarm, of indifference, of blindness to the needs of others… wouldn't it be great to take a "temporal vow" while being single to love others, to die for others, just like we take vows to "die" for our husband/wife/children at the wedding?

I am very very selfish. Just as I am writing this I am realizing how selfish and self-centered I have been in my single life.

Like you all know I have considered a call to celibacy. To perpetual virginity...for the Kingdom... About three years ago I almost entered a convent… I had asked for the paper work, spent two weeks there.... all was ready... but then the Beloved talked to me and told me that I would never make it because I did not have a selfless motherly heart at the time. I was terribly self-centered. Being celibate means being a Bride to Christ and a mother for the whole world… but my heart was selfish, I could not see beyond my own needs.

So the Beloved lovingly told me “no…at least not yet.” So for the last years I’ve focused on loving and dying for others… I say “focused” even though many many times I’ve lost focus and gone back to being selfish. Terribly selfish.

I have dated, I've fallen in love twice in my life and both times I've been loved back... I’ve chosen the names that I will give to my babies if I ever have children…but even now, at times my heart aches to have an undivided heart, a virginal heart for the King, for the Beloved, for the Groom... and to be able to love and die for the world…

Whether I become a nun or not is up to God, but now I find myself single. And it’s a life of challenge, of struggle, of death in the Cross and of Victory.

And for all of you all singles’ out there I want to tell you… we have work to do! For the Kingdom! Men, be husbands to the Church just like Christ. Women! Be Brides of Christ! And let us all of us, singles, be mothers and fathers to the world!!

Monday, August 13, 2007

on Solitude....

I am home alone...
in Solitude...

it had been over a year since I woke up in the morning and there was no one at home...
it had been a long time since I could just stretch in the sun coming from the window and know it just me and Him...



and suddenly, Battle.

Raging Battle in the Heart and the Mind. What is it about Silence and Solitude that suddenly our fears, sins, temptations and sorrows come fresh to the top? is it the lack of distractions? The hermits of old didn't go to the desert just to chill with God. They went into battle. They went because it was thought that the desert was inhabited by demons. The hermits went to face the devil in his own battleground...and they were victorious.

Solitude. Silence. Battle, and Victory.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

by St. John of the Cross

Songs of the soul that rejoices in having reached the high state of perfection, which is union with God, by the path of spiritual negation.

O guiding night!O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.

Upon my flowering breast,
which I kept wholly for him alone,
there he lay sleeping,
and I caressing him
there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.

When the breeze blew from the turret,
as I parted his hair,
it wounded my neck
with its gentle hand,
suspending all my senses.

I abandoned and forgot myself,
laying my face on my Beloved;
all things ceased; I went out from myself,
leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.


¡O noche, que guiaste!
¡O noche amable más que la alborada!
¡oh noche que juntaste amado con amada,
amada en el amado transformada!

En mi pecho florido,
que entero para él solo se guardaba
allí quedó dormido
y yo le regalaba
y el ventalle de cedros aire daba.

El aire de la almena
cuando yo sus cavellos esparcía
con su mano serena
en mi cuello hería
y todos mis sentidos suspendía.

Quedéme y olvidéme
el rostro recliné sobre el amado;
ceso todo, y quedeme
dejando mi cuidado
entre las azucenas olvidado.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

from the diary of St. Faustina Kowalska

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Suffering Soul.

Jesus: Poor soul, I see that you suffer much and that you so not have even the strength to converse with me. So I will speak to you. Even though your sufferings were very great, do not lose heart or give in to despondency. But tell Me, My child, who has dared to wound your heart? Tell Me about everything, be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the wounds of your heart. I will heal them, and your suffering will become a source of your sanctification.

Soul: Lord, my sufferings are so great and numerous and have lasted so long that I become discouraged.

Jesus: My child, do not be discouraged. I know your boundless trust in Me; I know you are aware of My goodness and mercy. Let us talk in detail about everything that weighs so heavily upon your heart.

Soul: There are so many different things that I do not know what to speak about first, nor how to express it.

Jesus: Talk to Me simply, as a friend to a friend. Tell Me now, My child, what hinders you from advancing in holiness?

Soul: Poor health detains me on the way to holiness. I cannot fulfill my duties. I am as useless as an extra wheel on a wagon. I cannot mortify myself or fast to any extent, as the saints did. Further more, nobody believes I am sick, so that mental pain is added to those of the body, and I am often humiliated. Jesus, how can anyone become holy in such circumstances?

Jesus: True, My child, all that is painful. But there is no way to heaven except the way of the cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest and surest way.

Soul: Lord, there is another obstacle on the road to holiness. Because I am faithful to You, I am persecuted and suffer much.

Jesus: It is because you are not of this world that the world hates you. First it persecuted Me. Persecution is a sign that you are following in My footsteps faithfully.

Soul: My Lord, I am also discouraged because neither my superiors nor my confessor understand my interior trials. A darkness clouds my mind. How can I advance? All this discourages me from striving for the heights of sanctity.

Jesus: Well, My child, this time you have told Me a great deal. I realize how painful it is not to be understood, and especially by those whom one loves and with whom one has been very open. But suffice it is to know that I understand all your troubles and misery. I am pleased by the deep faith you have, despite everything, in My representatives. Learn from this that no one will understand a soul entirely - that is beyond human ability. Therefore, I have remained on earth to comfort your aching heart and to fortify your soul, so that you will not falter on the way. You say that a dense darkness is obscuring your mind. But why, at such times, do you not come to Me, the light who can in an instant pour into your soul more understanding about holiness than can be found in any books? No confessor is capable of teaching and enlightening a soul this way. Know, too, that the darkness about which you complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when My Soul was crushed in mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My Heart.

Soul: One more thing, Lord. What should I do when I am ignored and rejected by people, especially by those on whom I had a right to count in times of greatest need?

Jesus: My child, make the resolution never to rely on people. Entrust yourself completely to My will saying, "Not as I want, but according to Your will, O God, let it be done unto me." These words, spoken from the depths of one's heart, can raise a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In such a soul I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven with the fragrance of her virtue. But understand that the strength by which you bear suffering comes from frequent Communions. So approach this fountain of mercy often, to draw with the vessel of trust whatever you need.

Soul: Thank You, Lord, for Your goodness in remaining with us in this exile as the God of mercy and blessing us with the radiance of Your compassion and goodness. It is through the light of Your mercy that I have come to understand how much You love me.

Monday, August 6, 2007

this is precious!

"When someone asks you 'think about what Jesus would do', remember that a valid option is to freak out and turn over tables" -- Unknown

from Forest Murmurs

back from a pilgrimage!

I know! I know! I've been gone for a good while and by now a lot of you have flown away to more updated blogs, but for those of you who are still occasionally checking this thing I am baaaaaaaaacccckk!!I was off in Mexicoooooo!!! aside from all the Mexican fun, sun and beach I went on a pilgrimage to the basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, if you haven't gone...well, start saving up your money cuz you have to go!! and if you are any sort of mexican (1/2, 1/4, 1/8) then it is a duty!! ha ha!

She is, well, indescribable. Her presence and love, truly is there to comfort us. In the Tepeyac there she is, waiting, like all mothers for her children to go home...

"Hear me and understand well, my son the least, that nothing should frighten or grieve you. Let not your heart be disturbed. Do not fear that sickness, nor any other sickness or anguish. Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything. " -her words to St. Juan Diego

Thursday, July 19, 2007

talk about answered prayers!

So...someone put up this comment:

"Ali...You're at a crossroads, and it is time to act. It is true that prayer, fasting, sacraments, and study always are always necessary ... and now for you pointedly to serve the poorest of the poor, as a Catholic...serve by following Catholic doctrine; this is the way the saints have always found what it is God wanted specifically for them. You will realize your specific vocation as you serve. It will be that good that needs to be done in His name and that you are capable of doing, while you leave yourself behind."

wow...whoever that was, thank You.

Indeed my heart has been burning lately. Desiring to love and die for my neighbor... it is time to Serve and in serving I will find what God wants specifically from me... In about a month my life will change radically. Up till now I've been serving my family, but in three weeks I will be free to serve in a different level... and I know there is no need to go to a far away place...right here in my town there are elderly weeping in loneliness, sick in need of love, fellow Christians that need to hear about the treasures of the King in the Church, unborn being murdered, children that go hungry...

After all, what if I die today? what will I tell the Lord? "i held unto the gifts you gave because I was 'discerning' in what vocation you wanted me to use them?" or will I be able to answer "I exhausted myself in Your name"

Plus, this is the reading for today's Lauds:

"Each one of you has received a special grace, so, like good stewards responsible for all these different graces of God, put yourselves at the service of others. If you are a speaker, speak in words which seem to come from God; if you are a helper, help as though every action was done at God’s orders; so that in everything God may receive the glory, through Jesus Christ, since to him alone belong all glory and power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Pt. 4:10-11

How much clearer can it get?!

Lord! Here I am!!

Thank you to the person that put up that post!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007


Conversation of the Merciful God with a Sinful Soul.

Jesus: Be not afraid of your Savior, O sinful soul. I make the first move to come to you, for I know that by yourself you are unable to lift yourself to me. Child, do not run away from your Father; be willing to talk openly with Your God of mercy who wants to speak words of pardon and lavish his graces on you. How dear your soul is to Me! I have inscribed your name upon My hand; you are engraved as a deep wound in My Heart.

Soul: Lord I hear Your voice calling me to turn back from the path of sin, but I have neither the strength nor the courage to do so. Jesus: I am your strength, I will help you in the struggle. Soul: Lord I recognize Your holiness and I fear You.

Jesus: My child, do you fear the God of mercy? My holiness does not prevent Me from being merciful. Behold. for you I have established a throne of mercy on earth - the tabernacle - and from this throne I desire to enter into your heart. I am not surrounded by a retinue of guards. You can come to Me at any moment, at any time; I want to speak to you and desire to grant you grace.

Soul: Lord, I doubt that You will pardon my numerous sins; my misery fills me with fright.

Jesus: My mercy is greater than your sins and those of the entire World. Who can measure the extent of my goodness? For you I descended from heaven to earth; for you I allowed Myself to be nailed to the Cross; for you I let My Sacred Heart be pierced with a lance, thus opening wide the source of mercy for you. Come then, with trust to draw graces from this fountain. I never reject a contrite heart. Your misery has disappeared in the depths of My mercy. Do not argue with Me about your wretchedness. You will give me pleasure if you hand over to Me all your troubles and griefs. I shall heap upon you the treasures of My grace.

Soul: You have conquered, O Lord, my stony heart with Your goodness. In trust and humility I approach the tribunal of Your mercy, where You yourself absolve me by the hand of your representative. O Lord, I feel Your grace and Your peace filling my poor soul. I feel overwhelmed by Your mercy, O Lord. You forgive me, which is more than I dared to hope for or could imagine. Your goodness surpasses all my desires. And now, filled with gratitude for so many graces, I invite You to my heart. I wandered, like a prodigal child gone astray; but You did not cease to be my Father. Increase Your mercy toward me, for You see how weak I am.

Jesus: Child, speak no more of your misery; it is already forgotten. Listen, My child, to what I desire to tell you. Come close to My wounds and draw from the Fountain of Life whatever your heart desires. Drink copiously from the Fountain of Life and you will not weary on your journey. Look at the splendors of My mercy and do not fear the enemies of your salvation. Glorify My mercy

-From the Diary of St. Fautina Kowalska

Monday, July 16, 2007


ok. I'm breathing again....uhh...chill...

and here is a little note that Father De Sales sent me last night:

" Make yourself familiar with the angels,
and behold them frequently in spirit;
for without being seen,
they are present with you."
~st.francis of sales.
Say Hi to your guardian angel today! :)


sorry, sorry sorry, been gone for a while I know I know...

just big thing happening. Parents got a big job. They are "moving out" (aww...parents grow up so fast! tear!) and trying to find a place for me and preparing myself mentally for living by myself for the first time... eeek! Plus my brother got married with all the madness that that entails, and I am going off in an international trip next weekend....arrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

talking about vocations...

so my spiritual director asked me the other day... do you ever think about what you want to term? (I love him, he is so good at not being pushy towards any direction) and then a friend of mine (who is not good at not being pushy but who I thank cuz sometimes I need a push) asked me "so when are you leaving for the convent?" to make matters worse (or better?) I had been feeling in my heart the question of "what is Your Will? what do you want me to do?" after about three years of it rarely coming up...

I mean, a long time ago I decided to live day by day. love day by day. and that alone, in my single, young adult life has been way more than I can handle! but still, my heart burns with desires of more of a selfgiving, of "dying" (no I'm not suicidal, chill, I mean as in dying to self) and of service... mmm....

but I aint' angsting over it. (is "angsting" even a word?)


I already tried religious life a couple times and yeah...that didn't work... marriage, there is no one lining up for the job of husband but I am not really interested into taking applications...mmm... then again I cannot think about becoming a Consecrated Virgin living in the world until I become more mature. And then it turns out my family is moving away so for the first time in my life I will be living "by myself".... mmmm.... I perceive a crazy discernment time looming ahead.

Living by myself means more time, having my entire paycheck for my self means stability...I think the key word in this is availability...
I'm going to become as available to Him as possible...
and see what He says...

I'll become a Sister of the Perpetual Discernment. Ha!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


I was going through old music on my MP3 player and came upon Casting Crown's "Praise you in the storm" and "Stand in the Rain"...

a part of the lyrics of both:

Praise You in the Storm
I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
...You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Stand in the Rain
She won’t turn around
The shadows are long
And she fears
if she cries that first tear
The tears will not stop raining down

So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain

Like you can probably infer from my choice of music from that time, I was not exactly happy. I was truly in the middle of a lot of pain. But now I stand here to say Thanks to my Lord. Thanks to my Beloved Christ who saw me through it all. Who gave me the necessary Grace. Who was right besides me. Who carried me and showered me with grace and tenderness.

Now things are better. Much better and I rejoice. The trials are still here. At times its really bad. But His Presence is evident and that changes everything. If you are reading this and you are in deep pain let me tell you this. He does care. He, right now, even though you might not see it or feel it, is giving you the strenght to carry on. He will not abandon you.

To my Lord. My King, my Good Shepherd. Thank you.
Getting to know Father.

About St. Francis of Sales from the book "Sage and Saint"

Let those who see in him only a gentle pastor watching over tender sheep and lambs in the midst of meadow flowers accompany him in his missionary combat. They will discover in him the warrior about whom Saint Paul tells us, who "has put on the armor of faith and of love; and for a helmet, hope of salvation"

This has been my experience while reading this book. I thought I knew my Father De Sales, but it turns out he is deeper, more mystical and corageous than I ever thought. I feel a little intimidated to have such a spiritual director. What will God ask of me? whatever it is Lord! Thy Will be done!

Oh! How I wish!

How I wish everyone spoke spanish! then I could share all kinds of cool stuff... anyway, if you speak spanish don't forget to visit the following links:

  • a website about Blessed Rafael, a dear brother of mine
  • the website of Jesed, a ministry of music. They take the writings of the Saints and make them into amazing songs (imagine the poetry of St. John of the Cross in music!!

Monday, July 9, 2007

Me!! me!! Meme!! #2

Woo hooo! Cate has tagged me! (Thanks Cate!) and I have to say I think this is my favorite Meme yet, one about the Beloved! Here are the rules:

*Those tagged will share five (5) things they love about Jesus.
*Those tagged will tag five (5) other bloggers.
*Those tagged will provide a link in the combox here with their name so that others can read them.

man...just five??? Well, just to be a little creative, I'll do it in the form of a prayer:

Beloved, they tell me they want to know five things that I love about You, I look at You and You smile back. I will start, I love that You are Who You Are. I love that You are the Great I AM. I love that You are God, All Powerful, All Mighty and All knowing, I love what You in Your very Nature are. God. I love that You are God.Secondly I love that being God you became Man. I love that you laugh, talk, cry and bleed. I love the fact that one day I will be able to hold Your hand! I love that one day I will be able to kiss your feet. I love that You are Man. Afterwards, I love that You love us, I love that You love me. I don't understand why, but for some reason You decided to Love us, to die for us, to redeem us, to create a Church for us, to guide us every day. I love that it almost seems that you are desperate for my love. I love your divine/human tenderness. I love that You love me. I love how we can keep dialogues even though I do not hear your Voice with my ears. I love the way you whisper into my heart and guide me, through the Church, Scripture, the Saints or directly from Your heart. I love that you walk besides me. I love that you are Alive and Here. And I also love that You are courageous, manly and challenging. I love that You are Lord and Master. I love that I am your handmaid and you are the King. I love your Majesty and Power. I love the fact that weakness, sin and unfaithfulness (not even mine!) are not stronger than Your Might. I love that you are King of everything. Beloved, I laugh because you are so beautiful and there is so much more that I love about You. Thank you for being who You Are. I love You, because You are Worthy of all my Love.

Anyway, I don't know much people that read my blog and have blogs (because ya'll don't leave comments!! hint* hint*)... but ANNE and SUZ if you read this consider yourselfed tagged! you can write your answer on the Comment box, woo hoo!

by the way, if you comment I will say the prayer of the Miraculous Medal for you... that simony? anywho, I'll say it anyway. Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee.

Latinish things

Could this be one of the first fruits of the Motu Propio??

I have to say, I am really excited about having access to the "Extraordinary Form" of the Latin Rite...I've never seen it before. A priest around here is crazy excited about it, but we will have to wait for a little while since he doesn't know how to say the Tridentine mass. But I bet he is dusting off his Latin books right now. :)

I love the Church! now we have two options for Mass, depending on our individual needs. Indeed a wise and loving Mother! Whenever it becomes available I think I will go to the Tridentine mass from time to time (I am so curious!), but probably I will still make the Novus Ordo Mass the regular Mass I attend... I like being able to understand the readings.

I think there is an old Latin Missal somewhere in the house, I'll have to find it. I think I will be able to understand some of the Latin, after all I took Latin in high school and I can *sometimes* read it.

I'm excited... Oh! I guess I need to go buy a veil!

p.s. Blogger is not letting me put a title to this...weird...oh well.

Friday, July 6, 2007

The Courage of Christ

Sorry for the lack of posting! I really have no excuse except that when I get into the Internet I get distracted with other stuff. But never fear! this little blog continues!
I recently purchased in Amazon "Sage and Saint" a biography of St. Francis of Sales, it is one of the most famous biographies of my dear Patron, so I am really excited!
I feel a little closer to him again, I started praying a mini-litany of the Saints after the Rosary and I always ask him to pray for me. So yeah, seems like we are back to hanging out together.

Anyway, I have just been thinking about Christ and his Courage. I've never thought about it before. He is Courageous. He is a warrior. A King Warrior. I thought about Him preparing himself for the greatest battle of good vs. evil in the Cross.

"You are the most handsome of men; fair speech has graced your lips, for God
has blessed you forever. Gird your sword upon your hip, mighty warrior! In
splendor and majesty ride on triumphant!...

With myrrh, aloes, and
cassia your robes are fragrant. From ivory-paneled palaces stringed instruments
bring you joy... "

I thought about how He went out to meet those who wanted to kill Him. He was almost defiant.

So Judas got a band of soldiers and guards from the chief priests and the Pharisees and went there with lanterns, torches, and weapons.Jesus, knowing everything that was going to happen to him, went out and said to them, "Whom are you looking for?"They answered him, "Jesus the Nazorean." He said to them, "I AM." John 18:3-5

And how he answered back to the guard who struck him. He was not intimidated.

"one of the temple guards standing there struck Jesus and said, "Is this the way you answer the high priest?" Jesus answered him, "If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong; but if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?"John 18:22-23

How he was not intimidated by Pilate nor by anyone else. To the last moment in the Cross he was Courageous, Magnanimous, with a dignity greater than anyone else. This is the Lord I serve.

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Viva Cristo Rey!

En los cielos y en la tierra sea por siempre alabado! el Corazon Amoroso de Jesus Sacramentado! Viva Cristo Rey! Viva!

Monday, July 2, 2007


I know there is a lot of people from England/London that read this. You are in my prayers. May the Lord keep you safe.

Oh Mary Conceived Without Sin, Pray For Us Who Have Recourse to Thee

Friday, June 29, 2007

you do know me...

A soul and Christ stand in the shore.. The water delicately touches the sand. Some white clouds navigate the blue sky. Christ is besides the soul, He wears a red crimson robe. The soul weeps quietly, covering its face with its hands.

Soul: 0h Lord, why? Why do you not reveal yourself? I do not know you. I try to know you and just exhaust myself. I read and read treatises, I look and look at the Host, I repeat prayers over and over, I rack my brains and come to the verge of insanity trying to understand you, to know you. Why!? Oh why do you not reveal yourself to me?!

Christ looks upon the soul sadly..

Christ: Behold the heart that so loved men… instead of gratitude I receive only ingratitude.

The soul turns around a looks upon Christ and is startled when it sees Him weeping.

Soul: Lord! Why do You weep? What do you say Lord? Why do you call me ungrateful?

Christ: You have slapped me, You have insulted me telling me that you do not know me. Did I not knit you in your mother’s womb? Was I not your playmate in your childhood? You were born into the Faith, there was no need for you to search for it.

My heart truly beats of love for you in the tabernacle and I taught you through your teachers that you could find me there. Have we not talked in the silence of the stars? Have I not myself given you Saints to guide you? An angel to watch your sleep? Have I not inspired books upon books and given you the opportunity to read them so you would grow in knowledge of me? And you grow angry at me for not revealing myself?! Blind ungrateful child! Thank me for the graces given and await patiently those that I want to give you next! Do not close your heart with your pride and ungratefulness! You’ve received graces that others have begged for and never received!

The soul looks at Christ and trembles.

Soul: Oh Lord… I-I didn’t realize…but it is true!

Christ cannot contain himself and embraces the soul.

Christ: Oh child! You are so blind; do you not see Me poured out of love for you? I suffer because you suffer unnecessarily!

The soul embraces Christ and they remain like that. The waves sing their quiet song.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

find your latin missals....

the Motu Propio is out! check it out!
well, it will be out on July 7... but let me check my sources, I'm not quite sure how legit this is. I'll keep you informed. Oh! and the Motu Propio is a document from the Pope that liberalizes acces to the Tridentine mass (previously parishes could have it but they had to ask for permission from the Bishop, now the priest can celebrate it whenever he wants) . It is NOT substituting the "normal" mass. It just opens a new option. So if you like Latin and bells... go to a Tridentine mass!

personally I've never been to a Tridentine mass, so I don't know if I will prefer it. I have a feeling I might go to it from time to time but I will still make the Novus Ordo my regular mass. I guess I need to go buy a veil... and a missal...

I just see this as another proof of the beauty and wisdom of the Church. What Treasure has our Good Lord given us! The Church looks at her children and decides to give us all the options for our spiritual growth. Do you need to Novus Ordo mass cuz' its the only way you will be catechized or ever listen to Scripture? (the case in many 3rd world countries), then there you go. Here is the Novus Ordo. Do you need the Tridentine mass to help you be aware of the Sacredness of the Mass? Here is the Tridentine mass. The Church is always satisfying the spiritual needs of her children. Praise God for the Church! Praise God for the Magisterium!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

El Greco. My favorite painter.

El Greco,
Doménicos Theotokópoulos (1541-1614)
The elongated images are reflections of his training as an Icon writer.
Icons are not realistic in order to convey certain concepts, specially asceticism. Most icons will have their mouths closed in a sign of the silence necessary to listen to God and will have big, expressive eyes, to denote their prayer of contemplation. El Greco mixed Iconic concepts with the western techniques. The results are, to put it simply, magnificent.

Monday, June 25, 2007

about priests and bishops...

In the Dialogue of St. Catherine of Siena, God the Father said about priests and bishops:

…[It] is my intention that they be held in due reverence, not for what they are in themselves, but for my sake, because of the authority I have given them. Therefore the virtuous must not lessen their reverence, even should these ministers fall short in virtue. And, as far as the virtues of my ministers are concerned, I have described them for you by setting them before you as stewards of... my Son’s body and blood and of the other sacraments. This dignity belongs to all who are appointed as such stewards, to the bad as well as to the good. …[Because] of their virtue and because of their sacramental dignity you ought to love them. And you ought to hate the sins of those who live evil lives. But you may not for all that set ourselves up as their judges; this is not my will because they are my Christs, and you ought to love and reverence the authority I have given them.You ought to despise and hate the ministers’ sins and try to dress them in the clothes of charity and holy prayer and wash away their filth with your tears.

Indeed, I have appointed them and given them to you to be angels on earth and suns, as I have told you. When they are less than that you ought to pray for them. But you are not to judge them. Leave the judging to me, and I, because of your prayers and my own desire, will be merciful to them.

I have been in conversations (both 'real life' and online) in which criticizing bishop's, priests and religious orders was normal. 'He has no spine,' 'bunch of heretics,' 'stupid,' etc, was said about them... But I wonder... If I said the same thing about a fellow lay person, would I not be guilty of judging them? wouldn't it be necessary to confess talking behind a person's back? wouldn't I be guilty of the sin of detraction? (the damaging of a person's good name by the revelation of their faults.) I've been guilty of it, I know how easy it is to get frustrated... but like my good mother used to say "they are consecrated" and by the virtue of that consecration I owe them the highest respect. Each one of them is my father. I will not talk badly about my father. If us catholics talk badly about our own Fathers how can we expect respect from non-catholics?

"Mary, Queen of the clergy, pray for them"

Abraham, St. John and God's Will

"The LORD said to Abram:'Go forth from the land of your kinsfolk and from your father's house to a land that I will show you'...Abram went as the LORD directed him..." Gn.12

That's today's gospel...
there is a beautiful mediation of it on the "Word Among Us" website:

As a nomad, Abram spent his life traveling from place to place with his livestock and his family. Like his relatives, he worshipped the gods of his people. Yet one day, Yahweh intervened in Abram’s life with startling generosity. He revealed himself to Abram, calling him to go to a “land that I will show you” (Genesis 12:1). And with these words, God initiated a plan that continues to unfold today, and will go on into eternity.

Abram was deeply touched by God’s revelation, and he gathered his family and his people and went where he was told to go. But God did more than give him a new land; he established a covenant with him. He promised Abram that he would bless him, make him a blessing to others, and even bless anyone who honored this man in any way. He promised to watch over Abram, care for him, and lead him to life and goodness. No longer did Abram have to wander aimlessly, without purpose. He would know that God had created him, loved him, and was dedicated to having a personal relationship with him.

Brothers and sisters, Abram’s story is our story, too. We, too, have been called by name to follow God and receive his blessings. Our heavenly Father is completely committed to lead us, bless us, and share his love with us. He has taken the initiative in our lives by loving us and sending Jesus. What’s more, he has made a covenant with us—and sealed it in nothing less than the blood of his own Son.

Think about all God has done for you, and then ask whether anything can possibly separate you from his love. You are never alone or forgotten, for God is always with you. Is there anything God won’t do to give you a share in his joy, his power, and his plan? Your merciful and generous Father chose you from the beginning of time, and he cherishes you still today. He is committed to bringing you to heaven. He longs for the day when you will join Abraham and all the saints in a chorus of praise and adoration before his throne.

A year ago I was a "nomad"... every christian that found out about my life would look at me in disbelief and then say "just like Abraham!" I moved 12 times around two different continents and 3 different countries. It was out of love for my family. I learned to Love. It was extremlly trying, but it was one of the happiest times of my life. I knew I was doing His Will. That was enough.

But now things have slowed down. Life has become going to work, exercising, eating and sleeping. A normal life. No longer a "pilgrim's" life. Yet even here, in the monotony of today, this is what He asks of me. His Will.

Usually I go to mass to the chapel in a hospital here in town. The priest is from Africa (I love how now Africa, India and the Phillipines are the ones sending the missionaries). And his homily was powerful and beautiful, the main message was this:

In the feast of the Birth of St. John the Baptist we have to think of ourselves, why was I born? just like St. John we are born with a purpose, a
mission... to do God's will. God didn't just created us IN HIS IMAGE and then threw us into the world. He made us with a propose. We are in His Image because like St. John we are also his forerunners. We come before the Lord announcing His comming. Find your purpose, ask Him and He will tell you. His Will might be for you to be a good wife, a good husband, a good child, a good worker,a good priest. If we don't do His Will we will be miserable in this life and in the next. St. John combined two seemingly opposing virtues: humility and fearlessness, let us do God's will humbly and fearlessly!

Last year I was called to be a pilgrim and a daughter. Today I am called to be a daughter and a worker. His Will is always challenging and wonderfully beautiful. And just like with Abraham, Yahweh walks with us and his generosity exceeds everyone's. I bow before You, God of my father's and my God. Your Will be done!

its safe, go ahead, read.

Online Dating

Friday, June 22, 2007

i know, i know...

it was just too cute to pass by....

Offering as a Victim to God's Merciful Love

O my God, most Blessed Trinity, I desire to love You an to make You loved, to work for the glory of your Holy Church by saving souls here below and delivering those who are suffering in purgatory. I desire to perfectly fulfill your will and to reach the degree of glory You have prepared for me in your heavenly kingdom. In one word, I desire to be a Saint, but I know how helpless I am and beg You, O my God! to be Yourself my Holiness.

Since You loved me so much that you gave me your only Son as Saviour and Spouse, the infinite treasures of his merits are min. I joyfully offer them to You, begging You only to see me reflected in the Face of Jesus and in his Hear aflame with love.

In addition I offer You all the merits of the Saints (in Heaven and here on earth), their acts of love as well as those of the Holy Angels. Finally I offer You, O Blessed Trinity! the Love and merits of the Blessed Virgin, my dearest Mother; to her I give my offering, beseeching her to present it to You.

My Beloved Spouse, her divine Son, while here on earth said: "If you ask the Father for anything in my name, he will give it to you!" So, I am certain You will grant my prayer. O my God! I know that the more You want to give the more You make us desire. In my heart I feel immense desires, and I confidently ask You to take possession of my soul. I cannot receive Holy Communion as often as I would like; but Lord are you not the All Powerful?... Abide in me as You do in the tabernacle, do not ever abandon Your little host...

I want so much to console you for the ingratitude of the wicked and I implore You to take from me all possibility of displeasing You. If through weakness i sometimes fall may your Divine Glance immediately purify my soul, consuming all my imperfections, as the burning fire transforms all things into itself...

I thank You, O my God! for all the graces You have bestowed on me and specially for having purified my soul in the crucible of suffering. How joyfully I will contemplate You on the last day, when I see you carrying your sceptre the Cross. Because you have let me share that precious Cross, I hope to resemble You in Heaven and see shining on my glorified body the holy wounds of your Passion...

After this earthly exile I hope to enjoy You forever in Paradise, but I do no want to lay up treasures for myself in Heaven. I wish to work only for love of You, with the sole aim of pleasing You, of consoling Your Sacred Heart, and of saving souls who will love You for all eternity.

In the evening of this life, I will appear before You with empty hands, for i do not ask You , Lord, to count my good works. All our righteousness is imperfect in your eyes. I wish therefore to be clad in your Righteousness and to receive from your Love the everlasting gift of Yourself. I desire no other Throne or Crown than You, O my Beloved!...

In your sight time is nothing, one day is as thousand years. In a single instant You can prepare me to appear before You...

So that my life may be one single act of perfect Love, I offer myself as a holocaust to your Merciful Love, imploring You to consume me without cease, allowing the waves of your infinite tenderness to overflow into my soul, that I become a Martyr of Your Love, O my God!...

May this martyrdom after having prepared me to appear before You, cause me at last to die and may my soul fly without delay into the eternal embrace of Your Merciful Love...

O my Beloved, I desire with each heartbeat, to renew this offering an infinite number of times, until the shadows flee and I can forever repeat my Love to You in an Eternal Face to Face.

Marie, Francoise, Therese of the Child Jesus
and the Holy Face - unworthy Carmelite
Feast of the Most Blessed Trinity
on the 9th day of June in the year of grace 1895

Thursday, June 21, 2007

a good friend...

You all know her, I mean, she is one of the most popular Saints in all history. She's been another one of my good companions. In fact, my decision to follow Christ was because of her. I was around eight I guess and one Saturday morning of "catechism" I was playing and running like a headless chicken inside the empty church when I noticed something in a pew. It was a little booklet. A little comic-book of her life. I read it, cuz I've always been a voracious reader and thought..."I wanna be like her!"

And it all started.

I've read "Story of a Soul" several times. My relationship with her is different than my relationship with Father Francis. Father Francis teaches me, guides me... he is very direct with me. But sweet Therese just implies things to me. Maybe it will be a poem written by her, an image of her face... something that just makes my heart say all over again... "I wanna be like her!"

Last night I was in Adoration and there was a little booklet on her. With her poems. I went home and I read them and prayed them. I was consoled and I fell asleep.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

latin lesson of the day

"Sona si Latine loqueris"
"Honk if you speak Latin"

I love latin, you can say whatever and it still sounds intelligent or holy!

the Church

So I saw an article on the Crescat about negativity towards the Church. I've noticed the same thing in many blogs, and in many magazines... personally I really don't worry about all the issues in the Church, I mean, I don't justify sins in any way, but I just rest assured in that it is HIS Church. I rejoice because the Church will always be glorious and triumphant because of her Groom!!
The Church HAS ALWAYS BEEN and WILL ALWAYS BE strong. Not because its members are faithful or holy... but because the Groom is! The Groom is ALWAYS defending and protecting His Church. After all, it is HIS. Not the liberal's, not the trad's, not the moderate's, not the faithful's, not the dissident's, not yours, not is HIS Church.

So He'll take care of it. Obviously using us, but still, it is HIS. So I rest assured that the gates of Hell will not prevail.

Monday, June 18, 2007

In Your wounds, hide me, never allow me to be separated from Thee!

Click on the picture to read... thoughts exactly...

Friday, June 15, 2007

woo hoo!

Guess what day is today...

Yes! you are right!

I give myself and consecrate to the Sacred Heart of our Lord Jesus Christ, my person and my life, my actions, pains and sufferings, so that I may be unwilling to make use of any part of my being other than to honor, love and glorify the Sacred Heart. This is my unchanging purpose, namely, to be all His, and to do all things for the love of Him, at the same time renouncing with all my heart whatever is displeasing to Him. I therefore take You, O Sacred heart, to be the only object of my love, the guardian of my life, my assurance of salvation, the remedy of my weakness and inconstancy, the atonement for all the faults of my life and my sure refuge at the hour of death.

Be then, O Heart of goodness, my justification before God the Father, and turn away from me the strokes of his righteous anger. O Heart of love, I put all my confidence in You, for I fear everything from my own wickedness and frailty, but I hope for all things from Your goodness and bounty.

Remove from me all that can displease You or resist Your holy will; let your pure love imprint Your image so deeply upon my heart, that I shall never be able to forget You or to be separated from You.

May I obtain from all Your loving kindness the grace of having my name written in Your Heart, for in You I desire to place all my happiness and glory, living and dying in bondage to You.


-by St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

Thursday, June 14, 2007

confetti, balloons and salsa music

We just hit the 600 mark!! woo hoo!!

Thank you! reader from Spain! if you ever visit again I lived in Barcelona for a while and I just have to say ... Viva Catalunia! and... yo' guys. Thanks all for reading, I hope you all get something useful from this little blog. God bless you!

Christ is Risen.

If you can read Spanish read this. Its the blog of a Spanish priest in Madrid. This last month they've had four robberies in his parish... and the other night a sacrilege took place. They forced the tabernacle open and the Hosts were all scattered on the floor. The priests narrates how after he saw this he couldn't take it anymore and he broke down crying...

Something similar happened in a parish two hours from where I live. Thank God they didn't got inside the actual Church, just the offices... but still.

And about a month ago in the same town a whole church burned down...

But Our Good Lord is risen! and so this happens again when stuff like this happens to his Church. After the Spanish priest relates how hard it was to see Our Lord like that he goes ahead and tells of how the parishioners were alerted and showed up to clean, pray and restore and they are going to have a big ceremony of Reparation. All around Spain they are getting support and love. Someone is donating new stuff. Christ reigns.

The nuns and friars of the church near my town that was broken into spent all morning sweeping and cleaning, like if nothing had happened. They keep praying their Liturgy of the Hours and going to Mass. Christ Conquers.

And they are rebuilding the burned down church , little by little. Christ restores.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

get prepared!

So, it is coming, pretty soon, this Friday...

The Feast of the Sacred Heart!

Get excited, start asking for Graces, I am SO gonna be at mass this Friday! woo hoo! and you know the best part of it all, is that the main apparitions of the Sacred Heart happened to a nun of the order of the Visitation that St. Francis of Sales founded! St. Margaret Mary Alacoque! Another point for all Salesians!

Go to Jesus, and place yourself gently in His Heart.
Let His fire burn away all iniquity,
Let His fire put your own heart aflame,
and rest.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Pic Me! Pick Me! MeMe!

well, what was bound to happen has happened... I have been tagged! woo hoo!
thanks Cate! it is the "Personal Policies" meme here is the original description:

"I think it would be safe to say that we all have personal rules that we live by. Surely it's not just ME. I'm not talking about moral rules, like "Do not kill." I'm talking about the silly policies we impose on ourselves, like "Never eat anything you can't identify," or "Don't step on sidewalk cracks." For some reason, I started mentally listing the quirky rules I follow and got curious about other people's personal rules. Hey, why not start a meme?"

mmm... so here we go.

1. When someone is smoking I have to get close and smell.
(I know, disgusting but my dad used to be a smoker, one day during lent he went cold turkey, no withdrawal or anything. But little me, unaware of it, had become a second hand smoker! I have never put a cigarette in my mouth but I just love (a.k.a I am semi-addicted to...) the smoke of cigarettes)

2. When I travel internationally I ALWAYS have to carry my passport and immigration documents on my own person. ( losing them is a personal cause of paranoia)

3. When I am driving I will NOT start the car until every single person puts on their seatbelts (I refuse to have someone die on me!)

4. When I get home I have to take off my shoes and go around barefoot
(being at home with shoes seems to be absurd)

5. This is my personal order of doing things after I get on the internet... I almost always follow this sequence: open the Adoration online window, check Outlook, check my 3 yahoo e-mails, check facebook, check blog... and then whatever. (if I don't open the Adoration window first I feel guilty, ha!)

6. When I go Jackrabbit watching (odd hobby, I admit) if I see one I do not walk towards him, I don't like scaring little animals, and no, even if you tell them you don't want to hurt them they still can't understand you, so don't walk towards them!

so yeah! here it is, if you want to, consider yourself tagged!

Friday, June 8, 2007

stuff # 2

Note: sorry for the lack of continuity in this post. Just wrote as the thoughts came to my head. enjoy the randomness!
Man! you gotta read the fiction of Father Robert Hugh Benson! I finished "Come Rack! Come Rope!" two days ago and I just finished today "No other Gods." You can find his stuff here. My favorite one is "No other Gods." This one is not a historical novel, so no references to Martyrs or nothing that actually happened. But the story is beautiful in that it leaves unsaid what it has to be unsaid. You half-finish the story in your mind. But well, I have to say I've been accused of making too much out of novels and reading too much between the lines. But personally I think it is a beautiful, inspiring, joyfully Catholic (yet not overly-pious) story.
Anywho. Next week I am taking the driving test. Another cultural barrier that's coming down, first was English, now driving, woo hoo!
Now in a less joyful note, I have a prayer intention... I dunno if things can be solved. As for now I don't think so, but then again, God is all powerful... Please join me:

"Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee"

I throw myself at the feet of my Mother. Surely she'll know what to do next... Maybe She'll just tell me to shut my big mouth and listen and be quiet. Gosh.
Father DeSales has been kindoff far off lately. I don't feel him "instructing me" as much as he did for a while. I'm not reading his letters as much as I used to, even though I ask for his intercession from time to time. Presently I think he is standing aside so other members of the Mystical Body can work their influence in me. Like Brother Rafael, the English Martyrs, our Beloved Mother and very specially the Spiritus Sanctus.

Father DeSales knows, like a good father, when to step away for a while.
Still, I pray for his intercession.

Beloved Father Francis, Ora pro nobis!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

a letter and a rant.

A letter to the Holy Spirit:


How beautiful and powerful you are! Fountain of Eternity, my Consoler! I write to ask you to forgive me, Beloved. My eyes have just been opened. In the depths of my heart, even though I did not acknowledge it in my mind, I felt abandoned by You. I saw others weep at your Presence while I remained unmoved. I wanted miracles worked in my soul, and it seemed to me that I received none.

But now I see, just how much you are in me and I in You. You know how much my enemies hate me, how they attack me. I felt tossed by the waves and wept. But now I see that while I wept you kept the boat in control. While I lamented my weakness you were there fighting my enemies. Thanks to You, I've remained in You. And now my eyes are opened at how much you breathe into my Life. And suddenly my life, my past and present which seemed to me engulfed in mild darkness, shines forth by the memory of Your work in it. And my future shines with the promise of Your continued Presence. Beloved, forgive my ingratitude. Now I sing, Thanks! Hosanna to the Spirit of the Lord!

Beloved, please, conquer me.


So, the other day, I saw a huge jackrabbit... let me rephrase that... I saw a MONSTROUSLY ENORMOUS Jackrabbit. It was as big as a middle-sized dog! See, there aren't many animals around here that like jackrabbit for supper...therefore the jackrabbits remain unchallenged. The only thing that threatens their life are cars whenever they decide to cross a street.

But man, this thing was HUGE.

I saw this jackrabbit while I was, read that again. DRIVING... I know for all of you western people of the world driving is a common activity. But I am almost 22 and I didn't know how to drive until some months ago. I have finally broken that cultural barrier. I am almost "westernized" now... ha! (probably "westernized" is not the right word to use, after all, Mexico is in the western hemisphere...but you get the idea).

I think I am finally ready to take the driving test... please pray that I pass it! If I do my friends have promised to throw a "she-finally-drives" party, just like the "she-got-a-work-permit" party when I received permission from Immigration to work.

Moving up my friends, moving up the social scale

Tuesday, June 5, 2007


Ha! so by now all the readers are gone...sad! sorry for not posting in 4 days! wow! Its because I've spent all my time online reading "Come Rack!Come Rope!" yeah, my eyes hurt! Beautiful, beautiful. A little "old-school," at the beginning hopelessly cheesy but that just makes it better. Its pretty much the same basic story as "By What Authority?" just different characters and slightly different setting... but still pretty good.

Anyway, at my parish we are starting a Young Adult Group, for those people who don't really fit into the "college student" category anymore but don't feel like joining the 50 year olds who get together for Bible Study... and, we are supposed to write our "testimony" for next week... eek!
I mean, during High School and College I gave my "testimony" several times, but I dunno, this time I am in a weird spiritual place... I think I've gone forward...somehow-ish...I think...mmm..

maybe writing it out will help me realize where I am right now, not that it really matters... my spiritual director keeps telling me "don't worry so much about your soul" not that he wants me to be lukewarm but because I tend to get the over-analyzing/scrupulous/rely on myself instead of God sortof attitude. Maybe I should just write it to "sing the mercies of God" like St. Therese of Liseux.

I might post it once I am done.

God bless!

p.s. I feel that I need get back in touch with Father Francis, I feel I've kindoff neglected him lately... but I bet he would smile and say "the freedom of the children of God!"

Friday, June 1, 2007

second post of the day

In the John Paul II movie I mentioned in the previous post there is a part when college-aged Karol Wojtyla says "in the face of this abyss of evil, we should respond with an abyss of love!"

What goes on between a soul and God is so intimate it cannot really be expressed with words, so I'm not gonna try to. But when I saw that in the movie I replayed it. Turned off the t.v. and went to take a walk. And I was greatly consoled.

Yay for Mass Media!

So I am reading "Under What Authority?" a great novel about the English Reformation, I am looking forward to reading "Come Rack! Come Rope!" by the same author on the Project Gutenberg online. They have a bunch of his writings there so I foresee sore eyes from reading a novel in a computer monitor! :) The author is Father Robert Hugh Benson and anglican convert (1871-1914).

"Under What Authority?" is pretty great, specially because it is a historical novel and most of the characters and places are REAL... awesome! It has a great narrative of the martyrdom of St. Edmund Campion and others. I am about to finish it and unless it has an incredibly bad ending I recommend it :)

As I've mentioned before Father Francis De Sales is the patron saint of writers and the Catholic Press, so I am absolutely sure that he would have loved the development of Catholic Fiction. Even thought its audience is pretty limited (I can totally see how a non-catholic would be offended if he read some catholic fiction novels) I think that those who read them benefit tremendously. Fr. Hugh Benson makes a great job of incorporating spirituality and apologetic lessons into the story. I have had to stop at times in my reading in order to take in what he just wrote.

Oh!, I sense an opportunity for shameless advertisement!: talking about Catholic Fiction don't forget to visit my other blog Catholic Parables and enjoy! *end of shameless advertisement*

Another great piece of media is the DVD John Paul II by Ignatius Press. Orthodox, with some artistic freedom but still historically accurate. I am glad finally we are starting to see some good Catholic Movies...some saint movies are... well... lets say that as an Electronic Media and Mass Communications major I wonder how in the world the producers passed Introduction to Film Making!

oh well... (sigh contentedly) I love criticizing Media... after all that is what I was studying for the last 3 years.

end of transmission

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Yo People!

in a pathetic attempt to encourage an exchange of ideas and words I call unto you, oh beloved readers.... Comment!
So I've never been in England... and in fact I just know ONE english person.... but for some reason I've been reading/learning lots about the Persecution against Catholics during the English Reformation. wow! St. Edmund Campion pray for us!
nothing else to report on the front...

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

so it seems...

You scored as History/Anthropology/LiberalArts, You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in History, Anthropology, or related majors (e.g., African and African-American Studies, Chinese, Classics, Cultural Studies, Economics, English, French, Geography, German, Greek, Hebrew, International Studies, Philosophy, Sociology, Women's Studies, or other Liberal Arts majors).

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.





























created with

So it seems I got the right major...Mass Communications/Journalism with a minor in art... not that I am currently using it... ARRGHH! Anyone! let me use my skills and get paid for it!! arrghh!