Friday, August 31, 2007

Entice Me

The red beads of the rosary
Between my fingers

The pang of hunger
In my insides

Prayer and mortification
The wings of perseverance

Yet it all becomes sand dust
It all becomes a clanging cymbal
if I do not walk into the night
to meet You.

Place Your warm hand
Over mine

Kiss my forehead
Entice me.

painting by Myra Mandel

Thursday, August 30, 2007


Your Heart
My Soul

Your hand of rubies,
Enclosing my hand of flesh

Your radiance dancing
to the song of the Trinity

I cannot hear it, Beloved,
but I’ll let you lead me.

I’ll dance in silence
Resting my head upon Your chest
Dancing to the melody
Of your heartbeat…

Painting by Myra Mandel

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Come be my Light

Come, be my light.
Come, be my strength.

The waves of this black ocean
rise above me.
Come calm the storm
within me.

drawing by Edouard Leon Louis

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Closing speeches and adresses of Vatican II Council.

TO WOMEN (read by Leon Cardinal Duval of Algiers, Algeria, assisted by Julius Cardinal Doepfner of Munich, Germany, and Raul Cardinal Siloa of Santiago, Chile.)

And now it is to you that we address ourselves, women of all states—girls, wives, mothers and widows, to you also, consecrated virgins and women living alone—you constitute half of the immense human family.

As you know, the Church is proud to have glorified and liberated woman, and in the course of the centuries, in diversity of characters, to have brought into relief her basic equality with man. But the hour is coming, in fact has come, when the vocation of woman is being achieved in its fullness, the hour in which woman acquires in the world an influence, an effect and a power never hitherto achieved. That is why, at this moment when the human race is under-going so deep a transformation, women impregnated with the spirit of the Gospel can do so much to aid mankind in not falling.

You women have always had as your lot the protection of the home, the love of beginnings and an understanding of cradles. You are present in the mystery of a life beginning. You offer consolation in the departure of death. Our technology runs the risk of becoming inhuman. Reconcile men with life and above all, we beseech you, watch carefully over the future of our race. Hold back the hand of man who, in a moment of folly, might attempt to destroy human civilization.

Wives, mothers of families, the first educators of the human race in the intimacy of the family circle, pass on to your sons and your daughters the traditions of your fathers at the same time that you prepare them for an unsearchable future. Always remember that by her children a mother belongs to that future which perhaps she will not see.

And you, women living alone, realize what you can accomplish through your dedicated vocation. Society is appealing to you on all sides. Not even families can live without the help of those who have no families. Especially you, consecrated virgins, in a world where egoism and the search for pleasure would become law, be the guardians of purity, unselfishness and piety. Jesus who has given to conjugal love all its plenitudes, has also exalted the renouncement of human love when this is for the sake of divine love and for the service of all.

Lastly, women in trial, who stand upright at the foot of the cross like Mary, you who so often in history have given to men the strength to battle unto the very end and to give witness to the point of martyrdom, aid them now still once more to retain courage in their great undertakings, while at the same time maintaining patience and an esteem for humble beginnings.

Women, you do know how to make truth sweet, tender and accessible, make it your task to bring the spirit of this council into institutions, schools, homes and daily life. Women of the entire universe, whether Christian or non-believing, you to whom life is entrusted at this grave moment in history, it is for you to save the peace of the world.


Gosh! the Church's call to women is for us "to save the peace of the world"! Wow! I gotta take that to prayer, I love the comment about mainining "an esteem for humble beginnings"

Monday, August 27, 2007

Mother Teresa

Ok, so you've GOT to check out THIS LINK

It's about Mother Teresa's Dark Night of the Soul which seems to have been...ahem...long.
And by "long" I mean...LOOOONNNGG. Pretty much the rest of her life after she started working in Calcutta.

It seems that her work had a "spiritual side" no one knew about... her spiritual life was and echo of Jesus' piercing cry "My God, My God why have you abandoned me?"

Redemptive suffering...What she suffered is
I really can't describe it... I mean... I know it was horrible and heart-breaking and it almost broke her soul...but she was Victorious. She was faithful...and her Beloved embraced her at the end...and the darkness was lifted.

I'm so moved...

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.
wow...I just answered questions about animals... and it is surprinsingly accurate! :O

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

a letter from a friend

It had been a while, but Father De Sales sent me a letter today... and like always, it was exactly what I needed to hear...

Do not look forward to the trials and crosses of this life with dread and fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to Whom you belong, will deliver you from them.He has guided and guarded you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear Hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials.

Whenever you cannot stand He will carry you lovingly in His arms.

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same Eternal Father Who cares for you today will take good care of you tomorrw and every day of your life. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you the unfailing stregth to bear it.

Be at peace then and puta side all useles thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations...

St. Francis De Sales
Father De Sales always knows the right thing to say...

Thursday, August 16, 2007

about being single...

I’ve realized there really is no “singleness” in the life of a Christian. I mean, if we define being single as not being married then yes, but if we define being single as not having a family to take care of, as having “our times for ourselves,” then I would say no, no and no!

Us, the single have a large, large family to take care of. Every single person around us, every single human being is my brother and sister, their aches, sorrows and needs are my business, and I have the responsibility, the duty of taking care of them. Of dying for them. We are called to die for others, specially those nearest to us.

If we are married those people are our husband and children, but if we are single it can be our parents, siblings, friends, strangers around us. I have seen in my spiritual life, that if I am not experiencing the same amount of self-sacrifice that any mother/wife of a family experiences is because I am not opening my eyes to the needs of others around me.

But this is all good and dandy… lets see if I actually put it to practice! Ha ha!

Because the single life has a great temptation attached to it: self centerness. The lie that since we have not given vows to no one we have no real “responsibility” or “duty” toward no one. A lie! But its Oh! So easy to fall into that trap, the temptation of being lukewarm, of indifference, of blindness to the needs of others… wouldn't it be great to take a "temporal vow" while being single to love others, to die for others, just like we take vows to "die" for our husband/wife/children at the wedding?

I am very very selfish. Just as I am writing this I am realizing how selfish and self-centered I have been in my single life.

Like you all know I have considered a call to celibacy. To perpetual virginity...for the Kingdom... About three years ago I almost entered a convent… I had asked for the paper work, spent two weeks there.... all was ready... but then the Beloved talked to me and told me that I would never make it because I did not have a selfless motherly heart at the time. I was terribly self-centered. Being celibate means being a Bride to Christ and a mother for the whole world… but my heart was selfish, I could not see beyond my own needs.

So the Beloved lovingly told me “no…at least not yet.” So for the last years I’ve focused on loving and dying for others… I say “focused” even though many many times I’ve lost focus and gone back to being selfish. Terribly selfish.

I have dated, I've fallen in love twice in my life and both times I've been loved back... I’ve chosen the names that I will give to my babies if I ever have children…but even now, at times my heart aches to have an undivided heart, a virginal heart for the King, for the Beloved, for the Groom... and to be able to love and die for the world…

Whether I become a nun or not is up to God, but now I find myself single. And it’s a life of challenge, of struggle, of death in the Cross and of Victory.

And for all of you all singles’ out there I want to tell you… we have work to do! For the Kingdom! Men, be husbands to the Church just like Christ. Women! Be Brides of Christ! And let us all of us, singles, be mothers and fathers to the world!!

Monday, August 13, 2007

on Solitude....

I am home alone...
in Solitude...

it had been over a year since I woke up in the morning and there was no one at home...
it had been a long time since I could just stretch in the sun coming from the window and know it just me and Him...



and suddenly, Battle.

Raging Battle in the Heart and the Mind. What is it about Silence and Solitude that suddenly our fears, sins, temptations and sorrows come fresh to the top? is it the lack of distractions? The hermits of old didn't go to the desert just to chill with God. They went into battle. They went because it was thought that the desert was inhabited by demons. The hermits went to face the devil in his own battleground...and they were victorious.

Solitude. Silence. Battle, and Victory.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

by St. John of the Cross

Songs of the soul that rejoices in having reached the high state of perfection, which is union with God, by the path of spiritual negation.

O guiding night!O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.

Upon my flowering breast,
which I kept wholly for him alone,
there he lay sleeping,
and I caressing him
there in a breeze from the fanning cedars.

When the breeze blew from the turret,
as I parted his hair,
it wounded my neck
with its gentle hand,
suspending all my senses.

I abandoned and forgot myself,
laying my face on my Beloved;
all things ceased; I went out from myself,
leaving my cares
forgotten among the lilies.


¡O noche, que guiaste!
¡O noche amable más que la alborada!
¡oh noche que juntaste amado con amada,
amada en el amado transformada!

En mi pecho florido,
que entero para él solo se guardaba
allí quedó dormido
y yo le regalaba
y el ventalle de cedros aire daba.

El aire de la almena
cuando yo sus cavellos esparcía
con su mano serena
en mi cuello hería
y todos mis sentidos suspendía.

Quedéme y olvidéme
el rostro recliné sobre el amado;
ceso todo, y quedeme
dejando mi cuidado
entre las azucenas olvidado.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

from the diary of St. Faustina Kowalska

Conversation of the Merciful God with a Suffering Soul.

Jesus: Poor soul, I see that you suffer much and that you so not have even the strength to converse with me. So I will speak to you. Even though your sufferings were very great, do not lose heart or give in to despondency. But tell Me, My child, who has dared to wound your heart? Tell Me about everything, be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the wounds of your heart. I will heal them, and your suffering will become a source of your sanctification.

Soul: Lord, my sufferings are so great and numerous and have lasted so long that I become discouraged.

Jesus: My child, do not be discouraged. I know your boundless trust in Me; I know you are aware of My goodness and mercy. Let us talk in detail about everything that weighs so heavily upon your heart.

Soul: There are so many different things that I do not know what to speak about first, nor how to express it.

Jesus: Talk to Me simply, as a friend to a friend. Tell Me now, My child, what hinders you from advancing in holiness?

Soul: Poor health detains me on the way to holiness. I cannot fulfill my duties. I am as useless as an extra wheel on a wagon. I cannot mortify myself or fast to any extent, as the saints did. Further more, nobody believes I am sick, so that mental pain is added to those of the body, and I am often humiliated. Jesus, how can anyone become holy in such circumstances?

Jesus: True, My child, all that is painful. But there is no way to heaven except the way of the cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest and surest way.

Soul: Lord, there is another obstacle on the road to holiness. Because I am faithful to You, I am persecuted and suffer much.

Jesus: It is because you are not of this world that the world hates you. First it persecuted Me. Persecution is a sign that you are following in My footsteps faithfully.

Soul: My Lord, I am also discouraged because neither my superiors nor my confessor understand my interior trials. A darkness clouds my mind. How can I advance? All this discourages me from striving for the heights of sanctity.

Jesus: Well, My child, this time you have told Me a great deal. I realize how painful it is not to be understood, and especially by those whom one loves and with whom one has been very open. But suffice it is to know that I understand all your troubles and misery. I am pleased by the deep faith you have, despite everything, in My representatives. Learn from this that no one will understand a soul entirely - that is beyond human ability. Therefore, I have remained on earth to comfort your aching heart and to fortify your soul, so that you will not falter on the way. You say that a dense darkness is obscuring your mind. But why, at such times, do you not come to Me, the light who can in an instant pour into your soul more understanding about holiness than can be found in any books? No confessor is capable of teaching and enlightening a soul this way. Know, too, that the darkness about which you complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when My Soul was crushed in mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view of the high degree of holiness I am intending for you in heaven. A suffering soul is closest to My Heart.

Soul: One more thing, Lord. What should I do when I am ignored and rejected by people, especially by those on whom I had a right to count in times of greatest need?

Jesus: My child, make the resolution never to rely on people. Entrust yourself completely to My will saying, "Not as I want, but according to Your will, O God, let it be done unto me." These words, spoken from the depths of one's heart, can raise a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In such a soul I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven with the fragrance of her virtue. But understand that the strength by which you bear suffering comes from frequent Communions. So approach this fountain of mercy often, to draw with the vessel of trust whatever you need.

Soul: Thank You, Lord, for Your goodness in remaining with us in this exile as the God of mercy and blessing us with the radiance of Your compassion and goodness. It is through the light of Your mercy that I have come to understand how much You love me.

Monday, August 6, 2007

this is precious!

"When someone asks you 'think about what Jesus would do', remember that a valid option is to freak out and turn over tables" -- Unknown

from Forest Murmurs

back from a pilgrimage!

I know! I know! I've been gone for a good while and by now a lot of you have flown away to more updated blogs, but for those of you who are still occasionally checking this thing I am baaaaaaaaacccckk!!I was off in Mexicoooooo!!! aside from all the Mexican fun, sun and beach I went on a pilgrimage to the basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, if you haven't gone...well, start saving up your money cuz you have to go!! and if you are any sort of mexican (1/2, 1/4, 1/8) then it is a duty!! ha ha!

She is, well, indescribable. Her presence and love, truly is there to comfort us. In the Tepeyac there she is, waiting, like all mothers for her children to go home...

"Hear me and understand well, my son the least, that nothing should frighten or grieve you. Let not your heart be disturbed. Do not fear that sickness, nor any other sickness or anguish. Am I not here, who is your Mother? Are you not under my protection? Am I not your health? Are you not happily within my fold? What else do you wish? Do not grieve nor be disturbed by anything. " -her words to St. Juan Diego