Friday, June 29, 2007
Soul: 0h Lord, why? Why do you not reveal yourself? I do not know you. I try to know you and just exhaust myself. I read and read treatises, I look and look at the Host, I repeat prayers over and over, I rack my brains and come to the verge of insanity trying to understand you, to know you. Why!? Oh why do you not reveal yourself to me?!
Christ looks upon the soul sadly..
Christ: Behold the heart that so loved men… instead of gratitude I receive only ingratitude.
The soul turns around a looks upon Christ and is startled when it sees Him weeping.
Soul: Lord! Why do You weep? What do you say Lord? Why do you call me ungrateful?
Christ: You have slapped me, You have insulted me telling me that you do not know me. Did I not knit you in your mother’s womb? Was I not your playmate in your childhood? You were born into the Faith, there was no need for you to search for it.
My heart truly beats of love for you in the tabernacle and I taught you through your teachers that you could find me there. Have we not talked in the silence of the stars? Have I not myself given you Saints to guide you? An angel to watch your sleep? Have I not inspired books upon books and given you the opportunity to read them so you would grow in knowledge of me? And you grow angry at me for not revealing myself?! Blind ungrateful child! Thank me for the graces given and await patiently those that I want to give you next! Do not close your heart with your pride and ungratefulness! You’ve received graces that others have begged for and never received!
The soul looks at Christ and trembles.
Soul: Oh Lord… I-I didn’t realize…but it is true!
Christ cannot contain himself and embraces the soul.
Christ: Oh child! You are so blind; do you not see Me poured out of love for you? I suffer because you suffer unnecessarily!
The soul embraces Christ and they remain like that. The waves sing their quiet song.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
well, it will be out on July 7... but let me check my sources, I'm not quite sure how legit this is. I'll keep you informed. Oh! and the Motu Propio is a document from the Pope that liberalizes acces to the Tridentine mass (previously parishes could have it but they had to ask for permission from the Bishop, now the priest can celebrate it whenever he wants) . It is NOT substituting the "normal" mass. It just opens a new option. So if you like Latin and bells... go to a Tridentine mass!
personally I've never been to a Tridentine mass, so I don't know if I will prefer it. I have a feeling I might go to it from time to time but I will still make the Novus Ordo my regular mass. I guess I need to go buy a veil... and a missal...
I just see this as another proof of the beauty and wisdom of the Church. What Treasure has our Good Lord given us! The Church looks at her children and decides to give us all the options for our spiritual growth. Do you need to Novus Ordo mass cuz' its the only way you will be catechized or ever listen to Scripture? (the case in many 3rd world countries), then there you go. Here is the Novus Ordo. Do you need the Tridentine mass to help you be aware of the Sacredness of the Mass? Here is the Tridentine mass. The Church is always satisfying the spiritual needs of her children. Praise God for the Church! Praise God for the Magisterium!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Doménicos Theotokópoulos (1541-1614)
The elongated images are reflections of his training as an Icon writer.
Icons are not realistic in order to convey certain concepts, specially asceticism. Most icons will have their mouths closed in a sign of the silence necessary to listen to God and will have big, expressive eyes, to denote their prayer of contemplation. El Greco mixed Iconic concepts with the western techniques. The results are, to put it simply, magnificent.
Monday, June 25, 2007
…[It] is my intention that they be held in due reverence, not for what they are in themselves, but for my sake, because of the authority I have given them. Therefore the virtuous must not lessen their reverence, even should these ministers fall short in virtue. And, as far as the virtues of my ministers are concerned, I have described them for you by setting them before you as stewards of... my Son’s body and blood and of the other sacraments. This dignity belongs to all who are appointed as such stewards, to the bad as well as to the good. …[Because] of their virtue and because of their sacramental dignity you ought to love them. And you ought to hate the sins of those who live evil lives. But you may not for all that set ourselves up as their judges; this is not my will because they are my Christs, and you ought to love and reverence the authority I have given them.You ought to despise and hate the ministers’ sins and try to dress them in the clothes of charity and holy prayer and wash away their filth with your tears.
Indeed, I have appointed them and given them to you to be angels on earth and suns, as I have told you. When they are less than that you ought to pray for them. But you are not to judge them. Leave the judging to me, and I, because of your prayers and my own desire, will be merciful to them.
I have been in conversations (both 'real life' and online) in which criticizing bishop's, priests and religious orders was normal. 'He has no spine,' 'bunch of heretics,' 'stupid,' etc, was said about them... But I wonder... If I said the same thing about a fellow lay person, would I not be guilty of judging them? wouldn't it be necessary to confess talking behind a person's back? wouldn't I be guilty of the sin of detraction? (the damaging of a person's good name by the revelation of their faults.) I've been guilty of it, I know how easy it is to get frustrated... but like my good mother used to say "they are consecrated" and by the virtue of that consecration I owe them the highest respect. Each one of them is my father. I will not talk badly about my father. If us catholics talk badly about our own Fathers how can we expect respect from non-catholics?
"Mary, Queen of the clergy, pray for them"
That's today's gospel...
there is a beautiful mediation of it on the "Word Among Us" website:
As a nomad, Abram spent his life traveling from place to place with his livestock and his family. Like his relatives, he worshipped the gods of his people. Yet one day, Yahweh intervened in Abram’s life with startling generosity. He revealed himself to Abram, calling him to go to a “land that I will show you” (Genesis 12:1). And with these words, God initiated a plan that continues to unfold today, and will go on into eternity.
Abram was deeply touched by God’s revelation, and he gathered his family and his people and went where he was told to go. But God did more than give him a new land; he established a covenant with him. He promised Abram that he would bless him, make him a blessing to others, and even bless anyone who honored this man in any way. He promised to watch over Abram, care for him, and lead him to life and goodness. No longer did Abram have to wander aimlessly, without purpose. He would know that God had created him, loved him, and was dedicated to having a personal relationship with him.
Brothers and sisters, Abram’s story is our story, too. We, too, have been called by name to follow God and receive his blessings. Our heavenly Father is completely committed to lead us, bless us, and share his love with us. He has taken the initiative in our lives by loving us and sending Jesus. What’s more, he has made a covenant with us—and sealed it in nothing less than the blood of his own Son.
Think about all God has done for you, and then ask whether anything can possibly separate you from his love. You are never alone or forgotten, for God is always with you. Is there anything God won’t do to give you a share in his joy, his power, and his plan? Your merciful and generous Father chose you from the beginning of time, and he cherishes you still today. He is committed to bringing you to heaven. He longs for the day when you will join Abraham and all the saints in a chorus of praise and adoration before his throne.
A year ago I was a "nomad"... every christian that found out about my life would look at me in disbelief and then say "just like Abraham!" I moved 12 times around two different continents and 3 different countries. It was out of love for my family. I learned to Love. It was extremlly trying, but it was one of the happiest times of my life. I knew I was doing His Will. That was enough.
But now things have slowed down. Life has become going to work, exercising, eating and sleeping. A normal life. No longer a "pilgrim's" life. Yet even here, in the monotony of today, this is what He asks of me. His Will.
Usually I go to mass to the chapel in a hospital here in town. The priest is from Africa (I love how now Africa, India and the Phillipines are the ones sending the missionaries). And his homily was powerful and beautiful, the main message was this:
In the feast of the Birth of St. John the Baptist we have to think of ourselves, why was I born? just like St. John we are born with a purpose, a
mission... to do God's will. God didn't just created us IN HIS IMAGE and then threw us into the world. He made us with a propose. We are in His Image because like St. John we are also his forerunners. We come before the Lord announcing His comming. Find your purpose, ask Him and He will tell you. His Will might be for you to be a good wife, a good husband, a good child, a good worker,a good priest. If we don't do His Will we will be miserable in this life and in the next. St. John combined two seemingly opposing virtues: humility and fearlessness, let us do God's will humbly and fearlessly!
Last year I was called to be a pilgrim and a daughter. Today I am called to be a daughter and a worker. His Will is always challenging and wonderfully beautiful. And just like with Abraham, Yahweh walks with us and his generosity exceeds everyone's. I bow before You, God of my father's and my God. Your Will be done!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Since You loved me so much that you gave me your only Son as Saviour and Spouse, the infinite treasures of his merits are min. I joyfully offer them to You, begging You only to see me reflected in the Face of Jesus and in his Hear aflame with love.
In addition I offer You all the merits of the Saints (in Heaven and here on earth), their acts of love as well as those of the Holy Angels. Finally I offer You, O Blessed Trinity! the Love and merits of the Blessed Virgin, my dearest Mother; to her I give my offering, beseeching her to present it to You.
My Beloved Spouse, her divine Son, while here on earth said: "If you ask the Father for anything in my name, he will give it to you!" So, I am certain You will grant my prayer. O my God! I know that the more You want to give the more You make us desire. In my heart I feel immense desires, and I confidently ask You to take possession of my soul. I cannot receive Holy Communion as often as I would like; but Lord are you not the All Powerful?... Abide in me as You do in the tabernacle, do not ever abandon Your little host...
I want so much to console you for the ingratitude of the wicked and I implore You to take from me all possibility of displeasing You. If through weakness i sometimes fall may your Divine Glance immediately purify my soul, consuming all my imperfections, as the burning fire transforms all things into itself...
I thank You, O my God! for all the graces You have bestowed on me and specially for having purified my soul in the crucible of suffering. How joyfully I will contemplate You on the last day, when I see you carrying your sceptre the Cross. Because you have let me share that precious Cross, I hope to resemble You in Heaven and see shining on my glorified body the holy wounds of your Passion...
After this earthly exile I hope to enjoy You forever in Paradise, but I do no want to lay up treasures for myself in Heaven. I wish to work only for love of You, with the sole aim of pleasing You, of consoling Your Sacred Heart, and of saving souls who will love You for all eternity.
In the evening of this life, I will appear before You with empty hands, for i do not ask You , Lord, to count my good works. All our righteousness is imperfect in your eyes. I wish therefore to be clad in your Righteousness and to receive from your Love the everlasting gift of Yourself. I desire no other Throne or Crown than You, O my Beloved!...
In your sight time is nothing, one day is as thousand years. In a single instant You can prepare me to appear before You...
So that my life may be one single act of perfect Love, I offer myself as a holocaust to your Merciful Love, imploring You to consume me without cease, allowing the waves of your infinite tenderness to overflow into my soul, that I become a Martyr of Your Love, O my God!...
May this martyrdom after having prepared me to appear before You, cause me at last to die and may my soul fly without delay into the eternal embrace of Your Merciful Love...
O my Beloved, I desire with each heartbeat, to renew this offering an infinite number of times, until the shadows flee and I can forever repeat my Love to You in an Eternal Face to Face.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
And it all started.
I've read "Story of a Soul" several times. My relationship with her is different than my relationship with Father Francis. Father Francis teaches me, guides me... he is very direct with me. But sweet Therese just implies things to me. Maybe it will be a poem written by her, an image of her face... something that just makes my heart say all over again... "I wanna be like her!"
Last night I was in Adoration and there was a little booklet on her. With her poems. I went home and I read them and prayed them. I was consoled and I fell asleep.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
The Church HAS ALWAYS BEEN and WILL ALWAYS BE strong. Not because its members are faithful or holy... but because the Groom is! The Groom is ALWAYS defending and protecting His Church. After all, it is HIS. Not the liberal's, not the trad's, not the moderate's, not the faithful's, not the dissident's, not yours, not mine...it is HIS Church.
So He'll take care of it. Obviously using us, but still, it is HIS. So I rest assured that the gates of Hell will not prevail.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
Yes! you are right!
I give myself and consecrate to the Sacred Heart of our Lord Jesus Christ, my person and my life, my actions, pains and sufferings, so that I may be unwilling to make use of any part of my being other than to honor, love and glorify the Sacred Heart. This is my unchanging purpose, namely, to be all His, and to do all things for the love of Him, at the same time renouncing with all my heart whatever is displeasing to Him. I therefore take You, O Sacred heart, to be the only object of my love, the guardian of my life, my assurance of salvation, the remedy of my weakness and inconstancy, the atonement for all the faults of my life and my sure refuge at the hour of death.
Be then, O Heart of goodness, my justification before God the Father, and turn away from me the strokes of his righteous anger. O Heart of love, I put all my confidence in You, for I fear everything from my own wickedness and frailty, but I hope for all things from Your goodness and bounty.
Remove from me all that can displease You or resist Your holy will; let your pure love imprint Your image so deeply upon my heart, that I shall never be able to forget You or to be separated from You.
May I obtain from all Your loving kindness the grace of having my name written in Your Heart, for in You I desire to place all my happiness and glory, living and dying in bondage to You.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Thank you! reader from Spain! if you ever visit again I lived in Barcelona for a while and I just have to say ... Viva Catalunia! and... yo' guys. Thanks all for reading, I hope you all get something useful from this little blog. God bless you!
Something similar happened in a parish two hours from where I live. Thank God they didn't got inside the actual Church, just the offices... but still.
And about a month ago in the same town a whole church burned down...
But Our Good Lord is risen! and so this happens again when stuff like this happens to his Church. After the Spanish priest relates how hard it was to see Our Lord like that he goes ahead and tells of how the parishioners were alerted and showed up to clean, pray and restore and they are going to have a big ceremony of Reparation. All around Spain they are getting support and love. Someone is donating new stuff. Christ reigns.
The nuns and friars of the church near my town that was broken into spent all morning sweeping and cleaning, like if nothing had happened. They keep praying their Liturgy of the Hours and going to Mass. Christ Conquers.
And they are rebuilding the burned down church , little by little. Christ restores.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Get excited, start asking for Graces, I am SO gonna be at mass this Friday! woo hoo! and you know the best part of it all, is that the main apparitions of the Sacred Heart happened to a nun of the order of the Visitation that St. Francis of Sales founded! St. Margaret Mary Alacoque! Another point for all Salesians!
Go to Jesus, and place yourself gently in His Heart.
Let His fire burn away all iniquity,
Let His fire put your own heart aflame,
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
thanks Cate! it is the "Personal Policies" meme here is the original description:
"I think it would be safe to say that we all have personal rules that we live by. Surely it's not just ME. I'm not talking about moral rules, like "Do not kill." I'm talking about the silly policies we impose on ourselves, like "Never eat anything you can't identify," or "Don't step on sidewalk cracks." For some reason, I started mentally listing the quirky rules I follow and got curious about other people's personal rules. Hey, why not start a meme?"
mmm... so here we go.
1. When someone is smoking I have to get close and smell.
(I know, disgusting but my dad used to be a smoker, one day during lent he went cold turkey, no withdrawal or anything. But little me, unaware of it, had become a second hand smoker! I have never put a cigarette in my mouth but I just love (a.k.a I am semi-addicted to...) the smoke of cigarettes)
2. When I travel internationally I ALWAYS have to carry my passport and immigration documents on my own person. ( losing them is a personal cause of paranoia)
3. When I am driving I will NOT start the car until every single person puts on their seatbelts (I refuse to have someone die on me!)
4. When I get home I have to take off my shoes and go around barefoot
(being at home with shoes seems to be absurd)
5. This is my personal order of doing things after I get on the internet... I almost always follow this sequence: open the Adoration online window, check Outlook, check my 3 yahoo e-mails, check facebook, check blog... and then whatever. (if I don't open the Adoration window first I feel guilty, ha!)
6. When I go Jackrabbit watching (odd hobby, I admit) if I see one I do not walk towards him, I don't like scaring little animals, and no, even if you tell them you don't want to hurt them they still can't understand you, so don't walk towards them!
so yeah! here it is, if you want to, consider yourself tagged!
Friday, June 8, 2007
Man! you gotta read the fiction of Father Robert Hugh Benson! I finished "Come Rack! Come Rope!" two days ago and I just finished today "No other Gods." You can find his stuff here. My favorite one is "No other Gods." This one is not a historical novel, so no references to Martyrs or nothing that actually happened. But the story is beautiful in that it leaves unsaid what it has to be unsaid. You half-finish the story in your mind. But well, I have to say I've been accused of making too much out of novels and reading too much between the lines. But personally I think it is a beautiful, inspiring, joyfully Catholic (yet not overly-pious) story.
Anywho. Next week I am taking the driving test. Another cultural barrier that's coming down, first was English, now driving, woo hoo!
Now in a less joyful note, I have a prayer intention... I dunno if things can be solved. As for now I don't think so, but then again, God is all powerful... Please join me:
"Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to Thee"
I throw myself at the feet of my Mother. Surely she'll know what to do next... Maybe She'll just tell me to shut my big mouth and listen and be quiet. Gosh.
Father DeSales has been kindoff far off lately. I don't feel him "instructing me" as much as he did for a while. I'm not reading his letters as much as I used to, even though I ask for his intercession from time to time. Presently I think he is standing aside so other members of the Mystical Body can work their influence in me. Like Brother Rafael, the English Martyrs, our Beloved Mother and very specially the Spiritus Sanctus.
Father DeSales knows, like a good father, when to step away for a while.
Still, I pray for his intercession.
Beloved Father Francis, Ora pro nobis!
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
How beautiful and powerful you are! Fountain of Eternity, my Consoler! I write to ask you to forgive me, Beloved. My eyes have just been opened. In the depths of my heart, even though I did not acknowledge it in my mind, I felt abandoned by You. I saw others weep at your Presence while I remained unmoved. I wanted miracles worked in my soul, and it seemed to me that I received none.
But now I see, just how much you are in me and I in You. You know how much my enemies hate me, how they attack me. I felt tossed by the waves and wept. But now I see that while I wept you kept the boat in control. While I lamented my weakness you were there fighting my enemies. Thanks to You, I've remained in You. And now my eyes are opened at how much you breathe into my Life. And suddenly my life, my past and present which seemed to me engulfed in mild darkness, shines forth by the memory of Your work in it. And my future shines with the promise of Your continued Presence. Beloved, forgive my ingratitude. Now I sing, Thanks! Hosanna to the Spirit of the Lord!
Beloved, please, conquer me.
So, the other day, I saw a huge jackrabbit... let me rephrase that... I saw a MONSTROUSLY ENORMOUS Jackrabbit. It was as big as a middle-sized dog! See, there aren't many animals around here that like jackrabbit for supper...therefore the jackrabbits remain unchallenged. The only thing that threatens their life are cars whenever they decide to cross a street.
But man, this thing was HUGE.
I saw this jackrabbit while I was driving...now, read that again. DRIVING... I know for all of you western people of the world driving is a common activity. But I am almost 22 and I didn't know how to drive until some months ago. I have finally broken that cultural barrier. I am almost "westernized" now... ha! (probably "westernized" is not the right word to use, after all, Mexico is in the western hemisphere...but you get the idea).
I think I am finally ready to take the driving test... please pray that I pass it! If I do my friends have promised to throw a "she-finally-drives" party, just like the "she-got-a-work-permit" party when I received permission from Immigration to work.
Moving up my friends, moving up the social scale
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Anyway, at my parish we are starting a Young Adult Group, for those people who don't really fit into the "college student" category anymore but don't feel like joining the 50 year olds who get together for Bible Study... and, we are supposed to write our "testimony" for next week... eek!
I mean, during High School and College I gave my "testimony" several times, but I dunno, this time I am in a weird spiritual place... I think I've gone forward...somehow-ish...I think...mmm..
maybe writing it out will help me realize where I am right now, not that it really matters... my spiritual director keeps telling me "don't worry so much about your soul" not that he wants me to be lukewarm but because I tend to get the over-analyzing/scrupulous/rely on myself instead of God sortof attitude. Maybe I should just write it to "sing the mercies of God" like St. Therese of Liseux.
I might post it once I am done.
p.s. I feel that I need get back in touch with Father Francis, I feel I've kindoff neglected him lately... but I bet he would smile and say "the freedom of the children of God!"
Friday, June 1, 2007
What goes on between a soul and God is so intimate it cannot really be expressed with words, so I'm not gonna try to. But when I saw that in the movie I replayed it. Turned off the t.v. and went to take a walk. And I was greatly consoled.
"Under What Authority?" is pretty great, specially because it is a historical novel and most of the characters and places are REAL... awesome! It has a great narrative of the martyrdom of St. Edmund Campion and others. I am about to finish it and unless it has an incredibly bad ending I recommend it :)
As I've mentioned before Father Francis De Sales is the patron saint of writers and the Catholic Press, so I am absolutely sure that he would have loved the development of Catholic Fiction. Even thought its audience is pretty limited (I can totally see how a non-catholic would be offended if he read some catholic fiction novels) I think that those who read them benefit tremendously. Fr. Hugh Benson makes a great job of incorporating spirituality and apologetic lessons into the story. I have had to stop at times in my reading in order to take in what he just wrote.
Oh!, I sense an opportunity for shameless advertisement!: talking about Catholic Fiction don't forget to visit my other blog Catholic Parables and enjoy! *end of shameless advertisement*
Another great piece of media is the DVD John Paul II by Ignatius Press. Orthodox, with some artistic freedom but still historically accurate. I am glad finally we are starting to see some good Catholic Movies...some saint movies are... well... lets say that as an Electronic Media and Mass Communications major I wonder how in the world the producers passed Introduction to Film Making!
oh well... (sigh contentedly) I love criticizing Media... after all that is what I was studying for the last 3 years.
end of transmission